I Want to be Kind [-Thorfinn X Reader-] [Vinland Saga]

Three Enslaved Years

-Thorfinns POV-

The sounds of my axe hitting into the tree trunk reverberated throughout the dense forest. Muscles straining as I worked on my second tree that day. It had been a couple months since that fateful day where Askeladd was killed. The day they dragged me away to be sold as a slave, and the day I last saw her.

I clenched my teeth as I hit the trunk with all my might. "Shit.." I hiss as I try to pull it back out, I hadn't meant to hit it so deep that it wouldn't remove itself from the wood.

"Gods be damned." I mutter as I continue to try and remove the axe. Thinking about how after all the time she had spent with me, telling me she had loved me and no one else. It was insane she would ever agree to marrying Canute, yet according to Askeladd she had. It felt as if there was a rock in the pit of my stomach every time the thought resurfaced in my mind.

I've been a slave for the man named Ketil on his farm for a month or so now. Given a plot of land to mold into usable farmland. Too bad he had bought a warrior instead of a farmer. Because there was no way I had the knowledge to grow anything of use.

"... Thorfinn it's me!" I hear Ketil call from the distance. I let out a sigh as I leave my axe still imbedded in the tree. I'll have to get it out later. I walk through the woods and come into view of Ketil who was sitting atop a horse. A farm hand was to his right and a man I had never seen before was to his left.

"Einar this is Thorinnn. Thorfinn this is Einar! You two will be friends from this day forward, you'll both be working together to turn this forest into farmland." Ketil introduced us to each other.

"Nice to meet you Thorfinn." The man named Einar said as he scratched the back of his head nervously. He was a tall man, I barely came up to his shoulder. He had strong features and auburn hair.

"... Hello." I replied looking away from him. He seemed so happy and full of life when the master told him about the arrangement to buy back our freedom. Great I'll have to deal with someone this enthusiastic about work.

•••

"Isn't Arnheid just the cutest most amazing woman!" Einar gushed for the hundred time that day as we worked on the fields. I hum in response and Einar gives me a look. "...what?" I question after a few seconds and he just narrows his eyes at me. "You know you don't show any enthusiasm to any woman. Ya know at first I was thinking you might be into guys instead. Which is fine!" He says throwing his hands up. "But you don't show any interest at all! Like none!" Einar complained. I felt my eye twitch as he talked.

"And this is my problem how?" I respond tilting my head. My tied up hair swishing to the side. "As your friend I'm concerned. You need to be more lively! Maybe getting laid would help you stop being depressed all the time." Einar teased as he saw the annoyed look on my face.it's been a couple months since I had met the man and we had grown closer. In all honesty he has helped me by distracting me when I remembered my past. It was nice to listen to someone jabber on about small things instead of my thoughts.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in anyone." I respond curtly. "Oh I see. Used to have a girl maybe?" Einar continued.

Annoyance rumbled in my chest as I tried to go back to work but Einar ran up to my side and continued to pester me "I was spot on huh? What happened did she die maybe? I'm sorry if she did."

I frown and glare at him "Shes not dead." I said  without hesitation. 'What if she was though...? I have no news on the outside world. Maybe she was enslaved as well after what happened because of her ties to her father..' I think in distress before shaking the thoughts from my mind. No she had to have married the prince, I'm sure she's fine.

"Oho! So you do have a girl! What happen she leave you?" Einar continued his questioning. "If I tell you will you stop asking!" I snap at him, earning a grin and a eager nod in return. "Then she did, end of story." I grit out, grabbing my axe. "Hey that's not enough detail." Einar protested.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." I tell him truthfully. There was no way he would believe that me a slave had ties to Canute, and not only that but he had stolen away my lover. "Get back to work now I'm not telling you more." I say. Einar pouting and mumbling that I'm not fair.

•••

Ever since the incident I've had nightmares. Screaming out in my sleep almost every night. Einar often waking me up telling me that I had been screaming again, mumbling incoherent words and names. I never remembered them until the night before when I was knocked out cold, I had dreamed of Askeladd in what I could only assume was hell. Telling me that I needed to become a true warrior and make a life for myself.

It felt to real to me, as if I had truly experienced going there with all of the men I had killed in battle weighing me down.

But tonight was a different dream. I woke up in that banquet hall, everything was the same as it had been that day. Tables over turned, chairs strewn across the floor in a mess. The scent of blood heavy and thick in the air as men laid dying. But it wasn't Askeladd this time. It was (Y/N) standing there with the princes sword stabbing through her chest. A smile planted on her face as she looked at me.

I frantically run forward as she stumbles back.  Catching her before her body hits the floor. "What's going on..?" I mutter out in confusing at the sight of her in my arms, her shirt turning a dark black as the fabric soaks up the blood pooling from her wound. "You're here.." she manages to get out, her hand weakly reaching up to touch my face. I grab her hand, helping her as I brought her palm to rest on my cheek.

"Of course I am." I respond not knowing how else I should in this situation. "I'm sorry, I let them take you." She muttered, blood beginning to drip out the side of her mouth. "No it's not your fault." I cry out at her words. ".. I let them take you." She repeats ignoring my words as tears start to well. "I'm so sorry..  I never deserved you." Her breathing starting to falter as she continued to speak.

"No you did." I whisper, cradling her body close to me as I press my forehead onto hers. "You always deserved my heart.. it only belonged to you my love." I manage to get out without choking on my words. She relaxes in my arms at my words. Her body growing colder as her breathing stops while I held onto her dead body. My own racking with sobs as I realized she was dead.

"Thorfinn!" I'm shaken awake. It was the dead of night, I'm curled in on myself in the fetal position. Tears streaked my cheeks. Einar stood above me, looking down on me with worry plastered on his face. "I'm sorry." I pant out trying to calm myself as I realized it was just a dream.

"Who's (Y/N)" Einar asked after a few tense moments. I look to him from where I laid, thinking over whether or not I should tell him or ignore him. "She's the woman I love." I say quietly. He gives me a nod, and without further prying he went back to his side of the barn.

I needed to get out of here. I was already two years in and would be close to earning my freedom. As soon as I'm free I'll find her. Even if she's married to the prince or king or whatever. I will take her back from him I don't mind the repercussions of stealing a kings bride. Especially if I planned on leaving this continent.

I'll find her and win her back.