I Want to be Kind [-Thorfinn X Reader-] [Vinland Saga]

Ketils Thorfinn

"Give that man back his change!" Lief Erickson told off the shortie. I stood in shock that Lief was once again in front of me. "Father you were watching?" The short merchant said looking to Lief nervously. "Right from the very beginning. I wanted to see how you would respond to a quarrel." He responded before turning to the tough guys father.

"My apologies for my sons behavior! My name is Lief Erickson!" He apologized with a kind hearted smile. As soon as he said is name I was instantly snapped out of my shock, rushing forward from where I was amongst the crowd. The guard Canute had assigned to me quickly following after yet. "Mister Lief?" Sputter out as I halt in front of them.

It took him a moment before realization took over his face "(Y/N)? Is that you?" He asked as he approached me. I nod, confirming his words. His brows furrowing as sadness overtook his expression when he asked "Were you there with him that day..?" His words making my chest squeeze as the memories of the day in York rushed to the forefront of my mind.

I nod my lip trembling "I'm sorry, I wish he had left with you to Iceland." I say as my eyes cast downward, my guilt still heavy on my shoulders for letting them haul him away, thinking that he would just be thrown into a jail for a little while.

His arms gently wrapped around me in a hug. "Don't be sorry lass, you couldn't have made that decision for him. I'm just grateful you knocked some sense into him and getting him to talk to me." He comforts me. The invisible weight on my chest easing at the knowledge that Thorfinn had listened to me and talked to Lief. At least our fight the day before I last saw him had come with some goodness.

There's a short cough from one of the three men, reminding me that there were was currently an audience watching us. Lief pulls back from his hug, his kind smile ever present on his face. "I'm sorry men, this is a friend of mine." Lief said turning back to the three. "Why don't we all find something to eat. My boy here tried to swindle you men out of money, it's the least I can do to repay you for his trickery." He offered the two as he gave his son a glare.

The other father and son agreed and I followed along, my guard keeping a respectable distance away that none of them seemed to notice him following us as he kept an eye on me. We purchase some food from a stall and take a seat at an open table nearby. I tried to get Lief to let me pay for everything as I had a coin purse full of Canutes gold but he just shrugged me off and told me to let my elders take care of me.

"So how do you two know each other?" Shortie asked. He was the son of Lief yet I hadn't met him till now, for how old the man was I was surprised he had fathered a son so young. "Oh sorry, my name is Thorfinn. But most people call me bug-eyes." He introduces himself. "Wait your name is Thorfinn?" I question, sending a confused look to Lief. "He's an adopted son of mine. I've been searching for Thorfinn ever since I found out he was made a slave. And I just so happened to come across this Thorfinn." He explains as he takes a bite of his food.

I frown at his words. I wondered if he knew what I had found out, that Thorfinn was dead if  what the slave merchant had told me was true. "Me and Lief met awhile back in the town of York. We only met because I was with Thorfinn at the time. And that's the only time we've ever met each other." I finally replied to Bug-eyes earlier question. No way was I about to call him Thorfinn.

"I have a man named Thorfinn who works on my farm. Seems to be a common name." The man who I had found out was named Ketil said. His words seeming to catch Liefs attention. "This sounds like an odd question but.. would this Thorfinn happen to be a slave?" He asked. I could already guess that he was about to ask if this Thorfinn could possibly be ours. It was obvious he hadn't stopped looking. I would need to tell Lief what I had learned when I went searching after that slave merchant. But not in front of these strangers, I wouldn't put that knowledge on Lief with others around.

Narrowing my eyes at my food as I toy with it. 'Thorfinn was dead, it couldn't be him.' I thought solemnly as I tried to push down that little bit of hope that wiggled into my mind. 'It's not him..' I remind myself.

"I'm surprised you were able to guess he was a slave. But yes he would be." Ketil confirmed, my heart sinking at his words. "Is he Nordic? Blonde hair, brown eyes? Short about the same age as my Bug-eyes here?" Lief listed off.

"Why yes he would be all of that, though a bit shorter than your son." Ketil confirms every single detail. I take a shaky breath as I listen to the conversation. Scared at every confirmation that this could possibly be my Thorfinn. And if it was then that meant that the slaver I had talked to was wrong. 'Wait.. he said Thorin at first, not Thorfinn.' I remind myself in despair 'He hadn't confirmed that his name was Thorfinn till I mentioned it.'

"Might he be from Iceland? And a former warrior?" Lief continued, oblivious to my roaring emotions inside of me as I stared daggers at my food. "I don't know about where he hails but I have seen many scars across his body." Ketil said and at that I stood up startling them. "(Y/N)?" Lief asks me after a second.

I put on a fake smile and say "I just remembered, I need to hurry back home." I say before I begin to take off, the churning in my stomach hurrying my steps. "If you need me stop by the kings manor, I'd love to catch up some more." I called over my shoulder as I tried to crush down my feelings. "Wait! Don't you think this could be Thorfinn?" Lief called after me. I ignored him as I continued on my path back to the Manor.

I couldn't listen to their words any longer. Not when it meant that I could be wrong about Thorfinns death. That I should have been searching for him this whole time. 'I agreed to this marriage.' The thought invaded mind. It broke me, into a million pieces. I rush into the nearest alleyway, leaning my body against a wall, my hands over my mouth as quiet sobs begin rack my body.

I let my emotions out in that alleyway, no one coming in to interrupt me. By the time I was done I could already feel a pounding headache beginning to take form in my head as I dried my reddened cheeks with my sleeves. I had to find out if this was my Thorfinn. I needed to get to that farm, I wouldn't allow myself to stand to the side like I had all those years ago. And if it was my Thorfinn, id kill anyone who stood in the way of my getting him back.