I Want to be Kind [-Thorfinn X Reader-] [Vinland Saga]

I Want to be Kind

**Authors Note: Heya sorry for the late update, been busy with college and work. But I hope yall enjoy!**

A yawn escapes my lips as Thorfinn leads me back to Patil's house in the early morning hours. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, my hand holding onto Thorfinns hand as we walk up to the wooden home. I had only expected us to be gone for an hour at most when we snuck off after sunset last night. But one thing led to another and we ended up falling asleep until morning after we thoroughly explored each other's bodies. I wondered if anyone missed us during the time we were gone, and as soon as we opened the door to Patil's home my question was answered as Einar quickly jumped up from where he sat besides Arnheids bed.

"Where were you two all night?" He questioned us, his brows furrowing in annoyance as he approached us. "We were all worried something might have happened!" He added, a hard frown etched into his face. "Oh leave them alone." Lief spoke up from where he sat on a bench besides a sleeping Bug-Eyes. "If I was a young man again and was reunited with my lover after years I would want to have some alone time as well." He said, giving us a knowing look.

A flush threatening to bloom on my face at his words. I should've expected they would come to the conclusion that we were fucking, but I hoped they wouldn't bring it up. "I'm sorry Einar. We got caught up in the moment." Thorfinn apologized sheepishly. "You sly dog. I never would've thought you had it in you with how you never seemed into any woman." Einar said, his lips pursing. "Guess it just depends on the woman I suppose."

Thorfinn gives my hand a soft squeeze as he says "Yeah it does." Causing me to smile softly.
"Anyways enough about our sex life!" I exclaim ready to move past this embarrassing situation. "How is Arnheid doing?" I ask, letting go of Thorfinns hand as I move to her bedside. "She still hasn't woken up. But thankfully her condition hasn't worsened." Patil informs me.

I look over at the woman's face. Her breathing was heavy and raspy, if the ugly purple and yellow bruising didn't let you know she was in terrible pain, her breathing would. "Do you know if she'll be able to move?" I ask him, tearing my attention away from her to the old farmhand. "It would be irresponsible to move her with the state she's in. But there's no other option for us, she can't stay here for the rest of her life. This is our only chance to get her away from the farm, and out of Ketils grasp." He says with a heavy sigh.

"Ketil and Canute will be fighting soon. We need to start getting ready and prepare a carriage for her to lay in as we move her to the ships." Thorfinn came up beside me.
"I'll be able to acquire a carriage for you all." Patil offered up, moving toward the front door. "Be prepared to move her once I'm back." He says before leaving us with the woman.

Once he returned, we moved Arnheid as gently as possible to the back of the carriage. Using hay and extra blankets to cushion her body against the hard wooden floor of the carriage. Waiting until the battle started till we began to move the carriage toward the docks where we could make our escape. I'm sitting beside Arnheid with Einar on the other side of her. Listening to the battle cries of the men beyond the hills, fighting on the shore against Canutes men.

Each of us are deathly quiet until a gasp rings through the air. "Arnheid!" Einar gasps, noticing the woman was awake. "That sound.. I've heard it before. It's the sound of villages being burned, the sounds of battle." She meekly whispers, her eyes dead as she stares into the sky. "Don't worry Arnheid, that battle has nothing to do with us. None of us are slaves anymore! We're on our way to leave the farm!" Einar tells her.

"Leave here? And go where..?" She asks. Einar looked to Lief for that answer. "We will go to my village. It's a bit cold but it's a nice place nonetheless." Lief offered the weak woman with a smile. "Will there be slaves there?" She questions. "Well yes." Lief replies, a bit off put by the straightforward question.
"Is there war?" She continues. "Well not at the moment, there have been in the past and I can't be sure there won't be in the future." He answers truthfully.

Arnheid closes her eyes at his words, contempt with her choice as she says "then I'm not going.. I'm going far away from here. A place with no war, and the house me and my husband planned to raise our family. He's there now, waiting for me.." she rasps. "Thorfinn and Einar, thank you for being kind to me." She whispers out. Einar instantly begins to panic "No! You can't go there, not yet." He cries out.

I look to Thorfinn, feeling heartbroken for Einars pain of losing this woman who he was obviously close too. Swallowing hard as he climbs into the carriage beside me. It was clear this woman was close to death and there was nothing we could do to stop her from passing. Her breathing stops as Einar talks to her, begging her to stay alive. "Einar. Stop. She's dead." Thorfinn whispers, reaching out a hand and placing it on his friends shoulder in comfort.

We each sat there in silence, contemplating the loss of life in front of us. Never had I truly cared about another person's death outside of my close family. The death of Bjorn, my father, and the thought of Thorfinn being dead had absolutely broken me for months on end. Yet when it came to others, I tried not to think too much about how they had lost their lives. I never grieved for them, at most the only emotion I held for them was a mixture of pity and guilt. But I would squash that feeling down quickly, knowing if I got hung up on everyone I helped kill, I would never last long.

This woman in front of me, whom I had no relation to. Has broken me from that way of thought, I wanted to cry, and grieve this woman's death. I felt sorrow for Einar for how he lost a loved one, and Thorfinn for losing a friend who had helped him throughout his slave years.

"Far, far to the west from here. Across the great ocean. There is a land called Vinland." Thorfinn said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "A warm and fertile land. Untouched by slave traders nor the flames of war. There you can live in peace." He continued, almost like a prayer to the woman's dead body. Promising her that she can live out her days in peace there in the after life. This land he has never mentioned before, it intrigued me, a part of me wondering if he had made up the thought of a land with no war. It sounded nice, a country I would be happy to settle down in with Thorfinn, a place where our family could be happy and free.

We buried her body at the top of a hill overseeing the ocean. "I want to build a country." Thorfinn said to me as we watched from a few feet back, Einar prayed above the fresh grave. "This Vinland. It sounds like a dream." I say, not believing this place truly could exist. "I'm tired of war (Y/N).. ever since I've become a slave and lost my hatred toward your father. I've just had regret.. regret for killing all of the men and women during my life among Askeladds crew." He says, a heavy sigh in his voice. "I know that Vinland is true, and I want to make it into a paradise. A way to repent for my sins toward the souls I've taken."

"I understand.." I mutter in agreement. "Not in the same way as you though, I don't hold onto the guilt of the lives I have taken. But I want to be kind. From now on, I don't exactly want to harm others." I admit to him. My teeth gritting before I add "though I will if I have to. But I never want to harm an innocent again who has done nothing against me."

He nods at my words. "I understand, I just hope that one day you will hold the same ideals as I do. But if you don't, and still believe that killing should happen when necessary I will love you nonetheless." he vows, earning a soft smile from me. My thoughts heading back to the villagers of Ketils farm, each of them dying over a dispute that was so stupid. 'What if I could talk to him? Get him to stop this madness.' I wonder to myself. "Thorfinn, we need to go back."