The Sabrina Series: Hearst On The Line

10. Siva: Mischief Managed

She looked so beautiful, clad in that red dress that reminded me a lot of my favourite dress-the blue dress she wore to her first live performance.

Her timing had, once again, been perfect. She opened her umbrella just as the rain started to fall.

Everything was in slow motion. I felt like I couldn't breathe. This was her trademark style of bringing me to my knees. I stared at her, wishing I could run to her and apologize for messing up. She did not deserve a bastard like me in her life.

How could I believe Zayn's sorry self over her? Yes, he had been pretty graphic! He said that he took her in all manners and positions. He said she had a tattoo at her inner thigh. Plus, he went ahead to describe how silky her skin was, and how she was a mess under him.

I tried to stop the images in my head, but they refused to go. To me, she was cheap and trashy, and a groupie. She readily slept with him and acted like everything was okay.

Why was I following her?

Seeing her in various shows on YouTube, shooting videos with 5SOS angered me. What did she want with boys when she had a man like me in her life?

Wait... not me, we were no longer together.

While she toured, I spent my days wondering what to do about the huge burden I had. Our tour was winding up soon. A tour whose completeness was guaranteed by her.

I was embarrassed for doubting her. She had always been so nice to me.

Everyone has two sides Siva.

Not her. I know she's still untouched.

You think Zayn did not bite into that?

I think she loved me too much to let him get to third base.

So you believe he got to second base? Aren't you jealous?

Nope.

Not even a little bit? Because, Zayn being Zayn most definitely touched her...

Shut it.

Jealous yet?

Fine, she is hot, and I am immensely jealous. So what?

Don't you at least want to find out if he's been there before you?

Umm...

Tell the truth!

I didn't want to admit it. I was jealous. But my brain... my brain was controlling my thoughts and actions. My heart knew she still belonged with me, but my brain wanted proof.

I was thinking of how to find her when she showed up at my doorstep.

"Siva?!"

*&*&*&*&

My bandmates must have had a hand in this. She came to me. She knew exactly where I was. At first I was angry. I mean, why would anyone betray me that way?

However, I came to realize that this had saved me a lot of work. They wanted us to talk. They knew something was wrong, even though I hadn't told them.

Best mates ever!

I was angry though. Not at her, but at my mind. It kept telling me that I had to find out. If I didn't, I would go mad. My heart told me she was not ready for that kind of treatment.

We have to know.

No. I believe she is a decent girl.

Are you sure?