Applocked

VI. Confession

« Pov: Aarvi »

"I am an orphan"

His sad voice echoed in my ears and mind. He is an orphan? I summarized the things we've lived together and how he reacted every time when the topic of parents and family came. It all made sense. Whenever I complained about family, he would just let out a weak smile and remain silent.

"My parents apparently died when I was a six month old baby and my relatives left me in an orphanage... I grew up there all my life" He said with a weak smile and I tried to not break down.

Seeing him like this affected me. He was sad and the thought of not having anyone for himself all his life saddened me even more. I have a family who doesn't even consider me as their daughter and I never felt like I have someone in this world for me. I understand him.

"You never had a home. Right?" I mumbled to which he nodded. I never had a home too. I had a shelter but that's far away from being an actual home.

"No... and I never liked being in a same place. I like to wander around" He stated cheerfully when I knew exactly what he meant.

"You wander around and leave the places because you have no one to ask you to come back, to wait for you and to tell you this is our home and this is where you belong..." I informed eyeing his face. His cheerful smile faded for a second time.

"Yeah well, I don't have anyone!" He exclaimed chuckling at his own reply. His chuckle made me feel his pain more than his words. "Come on! No sympathy please..." He added walking in front of me. I don't know what took me but I wanted to tell him multiple things, not because i wanted to sound nice but because he deserves to know all these things. I however remained silent until my resistance left me.

Gathering up a whole set of courage, I walked slowly and even before he could realize it, I surrounded his waist from behind and hugged him protectively. I wanted to keep him safe and stable. I wanted him to know that I'll be there for him. And I don't make fake promises. I want to be the one who asks him to come back. I want to be the one who waits for him. I want to be the one who tells him this is our home and this is where we both belong.

I explored another level of my love for him. I loved him with all my heart and soul. I saw his imperfections and still accepted him the way he is. When i think about it, he is the complete opposite of me. We literally have no common points nor the same goals nor the same opinions. But none of them stopped me from liking him so much. I am connected to him emotionally in the deepest way possible and I want to support him emotionally. He deserves affection, love, care and happiness and I want to give all of them to him.

"I want to tell you tons of things..." I uttered under my breath. Sighing deeply, his palm rested on the knot I did with both my hands, on his abdomen.

"Tell me then..." He mumbled but I didn't want to tell him those things. Breaking the hug, I stepped in front of him. Cupping his face, I, for once, didn't control myself. Rather, I let it do whatever it wanted to be with him.

My lips automatically reached his forehead and before he knows it, I wiped a tear that slipped out of his eyes. These adrenaline rushes he wants to always feel are only a way to distract himself from his deepest and true emotions. "I don't want to say it. I want to show it... by being actually there for you..." I said in a low voice that was almost inaudible to him.

"Why do you want to be there for me?" He questioned eyeing everywhere else than my eyes. My heart beat faster and faster as an internal rush formed, creating a knot under my belly.

"Because... I love you." I replied in a strong statement.

Yes, I confessed.

Yes, he needed to know and this moment was the one in which he needed to know I am not there only because he is hot or because I find him attractive but because I love every bit of him.