Once Again for Old Time's Sake

Chapter 14 - Trouble at the door

A/N:  Many thanks to @SavannahRoseBell for the AMAZING feedback and helps.  You are appreciated more than you know.  

Carmen

After everyone adjourned to rest up for a while, I laid on the couch sniffing the pillow in the space someone just vacated. The subtle fragrance of cleanliness and spicy notes teased my memory of a time when the guys surrounded me with cologne. At that time, it was usually used to cover up sweaty bodies from practice or an over application by teens who hadn't figured out how to avoid drowning others with overpowering waves of nausea inducing scents.

Now, hints of conscious effort floated in the aromas left fading in the air. Ian came back down the stairs quietly and rounded the front of the couch. Lifting my feet, he sat down and propped them on his thighs. "Saw Evan, Taylor, Adam, and Deanna toting the fishing poles and tackle boxes down to the dock. Think they'll catch anything?"

Enjoying the sensation of his thumbs kneading the muscles of my calf and ankle, I sighed. "More than likely, but I'm hoping they'll toss them back so the fish will continue to grow." I ran the ball of my foot along Ian's inner thigh. "Thanks for letting them come out."

"I told you to do what you wanted. They're good guys. Are you guys going to spend any time in the tents or just in the cabins?"

I shrugged as I flipped over on to my back. "Haven't gotten that far. I'd like to camp in tents for a bit of the weekend, but we'll see what everyone thinks after naps. I didn't drive like they did, and I'm wiped out."

Pulling the throw off the back of the couch, Ian stretched it out over my legs as I reached out to pull it up over my shoulders. "You've been going for the last few days non-stop getting ready to host. Maybe for the rest of today you should just relax? I'm sure everyone will pitch in as you need help."

The weight of the blanket and the slow steady massage of my lower extremities lulled me into allowing my breathing to slow down. As we sat there in the house devoid of childrens' noises, I listened to the songbirds outside the window nattering away at each other, a smile pulling my cheeks and lips into a smile.

Ian hummed as he caressed my ankle with his thick thumb. "Ever wonder which one you would have wound up with had you stayed?"

I felt the heat creeping from my chest, up my neck, and to my ears. "I have, but not obsessed over it." While Ian and I talk about anything, this subject never came up. I cleared my throat, more out of habit than nervousness. "I tried to not think of all the things I lost or missed out on."

Ian continued his gentle exploration of my legs. "You always said they were good guys. They proved to be just as you said. Do you regret marrying me?"

My eyes scanned his face. I answered him after a moment. "No, you came into my life at the right moment and gave me what I needed. I love the life we've built together. Our family wouldn't be here without you. You let me grow and fail without derision. Yes, we have things that could be better, like I miss you when you're gone so long. I wish you wanted to do some of the things I've always enjoyed, but what we have is good."

Ian nodded slowly as he looked out the window. "If I was out of the way, who would you want to be with?"

I sat upright quickly and slipped onto my knees in front of him so we were eye-level. "What are you saying? Are you done with me? With us?" I'm sure a note of panic was in my voice as my throat threatened to close with the tears building behind my lashes.

Leaning forward Ian kissed my forehead. Cupping my cheeks, his lips kissed a line straight down my nose, before landing on my lips as he rested his forehead on mine. "Never! You've been with me over half my life and you're like a barnacle, you stuck around and grew on me." He chuckled as I hiccupped, giggling through my tears. "I'm asking because I wonder what you need now with me gone all the time."