SLASHER SLASHER SLASHER

Freddy Krueger x Reader ~Wholesome~

I watched as fucking Freddy Krueger stood in anger with a ripped jug of milk. His claw thingy on his hand ripped it open. Milk was all over the floor. The angry pizza threw the jug in the trash before slamming the fridge and storming off to find a mop. I didn't own a mop so he had to just get a towel and use a few of those.

"How the fuck am I supposed to clean up the fucking milk under the damn fridge?!" He muttered as he struggled, it was amusing but I held my laugh.

"Maybe do some of that honey I shrunk the kids shit and walk under with a mini towel," I teased, throwing him another towel that was dry to use.

He glared at me before returning to drying the floor, occasionally shooing away one of the cats so they wouldn't try to drink it.

"Real fucking funny, sweetcheeks."

Once he was done cleaning I grabbed my car keys and threw him a bag with his disguise stuff. Put in public he would wear a cat themed, surgical mask, sunglasses and a color coordinated scarf I gifted him along with his signature hat.

"Where are we going?" He asked, "taking me out on a date? Forget the date and let's go straight to the fucking bed."

I rolled my eyes and walked past him to the garage, wallet and keys in hand.

"We're getting milk," I answered, "now let's go before I change my mind."

"I'm not going."

"Last time I let you stay you tried to steal my cats," I pointed an accusatory finger at him.

Freddy froze. He was caught. Then he grumbled a multitude of curses as he stormed to the car. We drove to the grocery store and walked in, making a beeline to the very back.

"Why do they have to put the fucking milk all the ducking way in the back," Freddy dragged as he trailed behind me, getting distracted by everything.

"So that you have to walk past all the stuff you don't need in hopes that you buy more than you actually came for," I explained, "tricky marketing."

I saw the dairy section from afar. Luckily it wasn't busy this Monday morning so we got lucky with traffic.

"Fuck grocery stores."

We got the milk, not before Freddy made an inappropriate joke about jugs that I smiled about but scolded him for shouting so loudly. Once at the register I saw a small sticker bowl, I grabbed a cat and pizza sticker. Sneakily I hid them with the milk so when they put the stuff in the plastic bag Freddy didn't see.

The cashier rung us up and we were soon out of there. I carried the plastic bag so he would stop making jug jokes and also so he wouldn't see the stickers. As soon as we got in the car and shut the doors I put the bag on Freddy's lap for him to set down at his feet, which he did.

The drive home was quick and soon I stopped the car and turned it off. I opened my door and made sure to have my keys ready.

"I got you something," I motioned to the bag.

He pulled out the cat sticker and smiled.

"I don't know what the fuck I'll do with it," he looked it over, "but thanks a lot, sweetcheeks!"

I stepped out of the car.

"There's another one in there."

I bolted to the door to get into the house. Most of the slashers nicknamed him pizza sometimes, I was just lucky enough for him to not hate me so he wouldn't try killing me if I said it. So of course I abused that privilege and did it the most out of everybody.

Freddy pulled out the pizza sticker and his face dropped, a look of pure disappointment and annoyance engraved onto his face. He was only half mad since I got him the cat sticker so he grabbed the plastic bag at his feet and stormed into the house.

"Y/N?!"

I was hiding with a grin.

"Where the fuck did you go?!" He put the milk in the fridge before going to find me.

He tried following the cats, hoping they liked him more than me but they led him astray. Now I just had to wait until the crusty pizza calmed down.