Brittlebush Grove [WLW][GXG]

Chapter 6, Finn's POV

The date seemed perfect really, I had fun, Bri seemed like she had some fun even if she was probably disappointed. I wish I told her it was a barbecue steak palace and not a fancy steak place. But she did seem impressed by my bull riding which was a plus. She also agreed to going out again sometime, I think. We didn't out right ask each other, but the same could have been said for this date. I was never great at asking girls out or talking about anything, I was a working girl not a talker.

Then again I wasnt a dating girl either, I never went on dates with strangers or had flings or even used a dating app. I dated one girl in my life, a girl I met when I was nine. Mary Harper. She moved into the house closest to ours when I was 9 and she was 10. The rest is history I have tried to forget as much as I could. But I couldn't. I couldn't forget how she hurt me, how things fell apart.

I shook away my thoughts as I finished up my chores for the day. I decided since I was done with them I could go out to my special area, my secret area. So I changed out of my sweaty work clothes and into some jeans and chaps, and a simple t-shirt with a protective jacket over it. I tied a bandana around my neck to cover my mouth from dust and such and grabbed my hat with a built in helmet. I also grabbed my canteen of water and my small bag of necessities like a compass and map and some snacks.

When I got to the horse stable Mel was brushing Marty. I walked past a bit quickly to get to Clyde but she saw me and spoke up.

"How was the date?" she asked.

"It was good," I nodded. "Really good, I mean.. I like her," I added.

"Good, so when are you two going out again?" she asked.

"I don't know. Some time. But we didn't really set a day," I shrugged as I saddled up Clyde.

"Well don't ignore her, you deserve a chance, we all do," she told me. Her voice always sounded monotone and almost mad, and she wasn't much of a smiler, but I knew she was being sincere. She met her love at 49 and was only married to him a few years ago.

"I will, I just, need to go clear my head," I told her as I climbed onto Clyde.

"Okay," she replied as she continued brushing the horse. I nodded and left out the open door on Clyde.

My secret place was around a thirty minute horse ride from the farm, it was an old cowboy ghost town. The intact buildings were a bank, a saloon, a store, a city hall connected to a police station, post office, a hotel, and some homes. The falling apart buildings were the school, doctor, and church. There was also a gallows by the prison that looked usable still, which gave me the creeps.

I had explored everything worth exploring in this town already since the first time I came I was only 16. Though, the hard part was that I never came here alone until I was twenty one.

Clyde was a good horse who often could ground tie especially here at the ghost town, I only really hitched him in town in case someone tried to steal him. But here I felt safe. So I let Clyde have freedom to stand near the grassy part before the town and eat. Thankfully my real spot here, the old saloon, was close to the grassy edge of town.

I entered the old swing doors and looked around the still slightly dusty saloon. I didnt clean it up too much because I liked the eerie vibes of it looking old and dirty. It had a piano and a bar and a lot of pictures on the walls. Over time I had brought bedding, books, and snacks like canned goods, granola, crackers, and nuts. It was a nice spot to come when I needed to get away and be alone. Especially after a day of chores and being at home, it didn't always feel like I could relax there.

As I sat on the spot I made out of pillows and blankets I looked at the wall they were up against. I had some polaroids and other pictures hanging on the wall. Most of my family and me with the boys as kids. But I had some still of Mary. In the past it felt too painful to get rid of since she was the only relationship I had. I couldn't erase that. But now, I felt like I was ready to move on. To be done with these memories that stopped me from moving forward and being happy.

I gathered every picture of her, of us, and got up to go outside. There was a small old garbage can near a home and I tossed them in it before lighting my lighter. I burned the last picture and dropped it, causing the fire to grow. In one hand I held a bottle of water in case I needed to contain it. But as it roared gently I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I didnt smoke often but now felt like the time as my eyes filled with tears.

"Fuck you Mary," I whispered. "I'm done, you have no hold on me anymore." When I felt ready I dumped the water on the fire and put it out. I went back into the saloon to cry in my bedding.

I went there every day for three days after meeting Bri, to think, to plan, and to cry.

((A/N Maybe I like writing too much but the sequel for Finn and Mary is in the works and will be only  10 chapters long))