Sand In My Boots - Morgan Wallen Story

Chapter 20

A little over 11 weeks had passed since I had last seen Morgan and I was now 14 weeks pregnant. Jared had been doing my check ups, but still told me frequently he disagreed with my choice of not telling Morgan. I could see why he would feel that way but I genuinely didn't think neither Morgan, nor I, had anything to gain from him knowing about the pregnancy. Two kids from two different women, none of which he was dating, would probably do quite the number on his reputation- which I now knew for a fact he would do anything to protect. And what was in it for me? Money? Fame? It's not like I wanted either of those things. I was determined not to take a penny from him. I would swallow my pride for a lot of things, but not that. Absolutely not. And being a mom was hard enough as it was, I had no interest in doing it in the public eye with hoards of people criticizing my every move. I realized that I might have judged Katie a bit hastily. After all, she knew Morgan, and had tried to warn me and protect Ellie. I had stumbled upon online articles about Indie's dog attack and people were being insanely harsh towards her. I genuinely felt bad for her and regretted my comment. I had thought of writing her to apologize, but couldn't bring myself to do it. Some new pictures of Morgan with a mystery blonde girl, sharing a kiss on his front porch a couple weeks after I had left, had surfaced online. I would be lying if I said that didn't break my heart a little more. To know he had already moved on from us was a hard pill to swallow. But he had every right to live his life and even though it stung, I couldn't hold that against him. We didn't owe each other anything and that was fine.

Ellie had been facetiming Lesli every week since we had gotten back from Tennessee and I had done a pretty good job at hiding the pregnancy from her too. But the more time passed, the more apparent the baby bump started to become.

I layed down in bed, dreading work in the morning. The nausea had gotten better, which I was grateful for, but my energy levels were still way off. Thankfully, Jared had been, once again, the most understanding and empathetic boss I could have ever asked for. I was scrolling down my Facebook feed when I noticed a text from Chelsea.

CHELSEA, 9:37 PM:

I think he's talking about you, dude!!! *hyperlink*

I clicked on the link and it led me to a TikTok that had been recorded by a fan during one of Morgan's concerts. You could see him, sitting at the piano, wearing that white long-sleeved shirt that I liked so much on him. My heart skipped a beat when he started speaking. I turned the volume up.

"A little while ago, I met an amazing lady," he started, the crowd already going wild. "The kind of lady that makes you want to stop messing around and settle down for good. And then I messed things up, making her feel like she didn't matter to me. Aubrey, wherever you are, if you see this; I wrote this song for you," he said, before letting his fingers run softly over the keys. He started singing and the words sent shivers down my spine.

"Girl, since you left me

Been tryin' to forget we

Ever became what we were

And I poured some whiskey

On places you kissed me

Tried to wash off all the hurt

But ain't nothin' workin'

I've lived out the words in

A thousand old sad country songs

But whenever I try to move on

It's like tryna put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole

Tryna tell a cowboy to slow down

It's like watchin' the way that the river rolls

And then tellin' it to turn back around

And I've held some strangers, told people I hate you