Find me in Stonebrook

Nine

*Tessa's POV*

Sitting in a meadow I'd sat with him in maybe 2 dozen times before. One of my favourite places in town was this meadow. It wasn't far out of town. I could probably walk back if I needed to. It'd take me at least an hour but I could do it. You could see all of town from here. If you looked hard enough you could make out each house and I could probably tell you who lived where.

The ocean mist was starting to roll in as the sky turned to cotton candy. If there was ever a time to be enjoying the silence, it was this. And yet, I was waiting for him to break it. He wanted to talk. I had nothing to talk about. I'd gotten a lot of it out yesterday.

"What you thinking about Tess?" I sighed. Think. Something normal.

"It's weird how 2 views can be completely different but you love them both so much. The New York Skyline and the view here are polar opposites. But they're both amazing."

"One's manmade stunning, one's naturally stunning. They can both exist alongside each other without one taking away from the other." I nodded slowly. "What else?"

"Nothing else. Just the skylines."

"You know I could sit here and ask you every possible thought and work out from your responses what it was right? Your voice goes up the slightest pitch and you look down for not even half a second when you're lying. It's really easy to tell."

"You don't know me as well as you seem to think you do Parker."

"I don't?"

"No. You don't."

"Hm. Okay. If you say so." He turned his head back to the view and I was sure, would place a bet on it, that I'd gotten away with it. "Your boyfriend back in New York doesn't know why you're here. No one else here knows exactly why you're here. Chances are you'd go the whole time you're home without telling anyone if you could but eventually I reckon Ethan will get it out of you without much of a fight because you have a soft spot for him and he knows how to use it like I do. You haven't once mentioned said boyfriend so I'm guessing that you either broke up or you guys are on the rocks-"

"No-" He turned to face me and I didn't have a single thing to say.

"You love New York. You know you're lucky to be where you are. You're at the top of your field now so I'm guessing your thinking about what's next now you've done what you set out to do. Because you need a plan for everything. I know something's wrong because you came back home 2 weeks early without a plan. That's not very Tessa and having spoken to Nate and Ty last night, I know that hasn't changed in the slightest. I know whatever made you come back is something huge and you've been pushing it to the back of your mind for a while, I'm not sure how long, but you hoped it would go away but it's just continued getting bigger and bigger and now you can't keep it in the box and it's going to end up exploding at something but you hate making your Mom worry so you came home to get away from it in the hopes you can go back with a fresh mindset but it's getting bigger here too so your breaking at things you otherwise wouldn't want people to know about, like-"

"Okay stop."

"Then tell me what's going on Tess."

"It's none of your business."

"How's Ben? Is it Ben? It's been a while since he was mentioned."

"How's Sophia?" I caught him off guard there. I don't think he was expecting me to pose a question back at him. "You guys were together like 4 years right? Why didn't you propose?" He chuckled, laying his head back on his shoulders and shaking his head. "Go on, you want to pose personal questions I'm going to fire them right back at yah Parker." I knew what happened. I didn't need him to say it and I only asked because I knew it would be pouring salt in a freshly healed wound.

"Okay fine. I didn't propose because I didn't feel about her the way I felt about you." My jaw fell slack and I stared at him. He did not just lay that out in front of me like it was a normal thing to say. "I was waiting for it. Waiting for it to feel like us but it never did and she got tired of waiting so she left." He sat back onto his elbow, tipping his head up at me and squinting in the sunlight. "That what you wanted to hear?"

"Is it the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Then I guess." I sighed. "I need to work out what I want next. The plan was get to Broadway as the lead and it all happened so fast I haven't been able to work out where next. One minute I was an understudy and then I was onstage and then I was being made the lead in that second rate play and then the producer was asking me to audition for something else that day so I did, 3 days later I'm getting the part and then I'm in rehearsals 2 days later. A month of 50 and 60 hour weeks and I'm opening and I've barely had a day off in like a solid year. I've gone from being an understudy on a tiny little remake of Beauty and the Beast to playing a literal lost princess in the space of less than a month and I didn't have time to change the plan or think about what I want next."

"Why do you have to decide?"

"What?"

"What is it with you and plans Tess? I never really understood it. Everything has to be planned out and you've always struggled when things didn't go as planned or someone else was in control of it."

"Life is too important to leave to luck of the draw. You don't have forever to just see how things play out. If you want something, you have to go for it. When it comes to things like this it takes years of work to get to the next step. Like to get to be Anastasia I had to be able to do certain things, I have to know certain dances and be able to wear certain shoes. If I know in say 5 years I want to be able to do I don't know, action movies, I'd have to know how to do stunts and to do that I'd have to do stunt courses so I'd need to take time off work, I'd could look into shows that have stunts to get myself some experience. You have to work backwards when it's something like this. It's not just going to happen by magic. People have screwed up one too many of my plans for me to let someone else take the reins." I looked up at the horizon, the sun debating ready it was ready to dip behind it or not. Indecisive on what it wanted to do. Stay where it was or keep moving. "I was supposed to do it all with you Parker. You were my plan. Everything was crystal clear when it was just you and now it's just foggy. I've been waiting for the fog to lift for years it never does. I thought by now I'd be able to see my future but it's barely visible a day at a time. At least if I have plan, I know where I'm going."