Twenty Five

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*Tessa's POV*

"Okay, that's everything. Can you just put it in the back of my car Ethan?" He nodded, taking the second suitcase down to the car for me before I returned to the bathroom, taking the towel off my head and starting to brush it out quickly.

I've washed myself 3 times over but I can still smell and feel Parker all over me.

I don't know what I'm going to do right now. But I know for a fact that being around either of these boys is no good for me in this moment. I need to be somewhere neither of them are. I can't be here, in Stonebrook without every single thing reminding me of how bad this is going to hurt Parker and how wrong this whole thing between us is. It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have even entertained it. No matter how strong that pull is to him. No matter how much I'm breaking because I know I can't stay here. It isn't right.

I've spent the past 2 weeks running from an engagement to Ben because he cheated. Because of his affair with her whilst starting my own affair with Parker. I've sat here in this bathroom and cried over the impact what Ben did is still having on me and now I've gone and done the exact same thing to him? For what? For nothing. Because even if I go back to New York and end it with Ben, I was asking Parker to leave his childhood home. A place he's lived in his whole life. A place where both his parents died. I was asking him to pack up his life and move to a new town so I could teach kids to sing and dance and act whilst he does whatever? There's more out there for him than being with a girl who cheats on her partners.

"Tessa." I sniffed, shaking the tears out of my eyes. "You can't just pack everything up and not tell him."

"I can't tell him either Wells."

"Just stop and breathe for a second Tess."

"I don't have time to stop and breathe Wells. I've been trying to breathe here and all it's done is push me into his arms and fuck everything up. I shouldn't have come home. I shouldn't have been spending time with him. I shouldn't have been dating him and kissing him and counting stars and hiking and swimming and everything else. I'm in a relationship. I'm no better than Ben."

"Tess stop doing this to yourself."

"I'm not. He cheated. I cheated. I've sat here and cried because of what him cheating on me did and then I've just gone and done the exact same thing."

"It's different Tessa."

"No, it's not!" I slammed my hair brush onto the counter. "Stop making excuses. There isn't any excuse. I wasn't drunk. I knew what I was doing. I can't stay here and avoid him. I can't see him knowing what I've done, what I'm putting them both through. It's not fair on either of them for me to keep them both in limbo whilst I make my mind up and sleep with the other. I'm fucking with their heads. Me doing this, is the exact same as what Ben did and you guys hate him for what he did. Even if it was subconsciously me wanting to get revenge, is it fair for me to use Parker like that. To have him sitting there and telling me he's going to marry me when I have a guy less than 1 thousand miles away saying the same thing and I've been with him for 3 years."

"FOR GOD'S SAKE TESSA YOU DON'T LOVE BEN. You don't want Ben."

"That's beside the point." I pushed past him.

"No Tess. It's precisely the point. You don't want Ben. You could call him right now and end it all. He's been pushing you around for years Tess." I pushed the last of my things into my backpack, pulling it over one shoulder and looking at him.

"I'm going home Wells. I can't be here and I can't be around Ben so I'm going back to our apartment and I'm going to sit there and eat ice cream by the pound until I work out what to do. Stay if you want to. But I can't. He'll be here in like 45 minutes when no one's at the beach and he realizes something is wrong. I'm turning my phone off." Wells laid his head back on his shoulders. "Please don't tell Lina and Logan. I just need to be alone."

I slipped past him into the hall. Hugged my Mom and Ethan. Promised them I'd be okay, that I just had a lot I needed to work out and another week here was just going to make things more complicated and confusing so drawing a line and forcing myself away from everything was probably going to make it better. Then I got in my car and started driving. Pulling over 40 minutes outside of town and taking my phone off airplane mode

🌲Parker🌲

You going to be long baby?
Tess, why do the guys not know about
the beach? You said you text them?
You're worrying me baby.
I'm coming around.

Texting you now and turning my phone off.
I'm sorry Parker. I didn't want to leave like
this but last night, it doesn't make me any better
than him. It isn't fair on you to keep stringing
you along and it isn't fair on him for that
to keep happening. I can't be in Stonebrook
without being pulled to you and I can't be around
you without it breaking my heart right now.
I need to sort my head out so I'm 40 minutes
out of town heading back to NYC.
Please. Please. Please do not follow me.
It's already complicated enough and you
deserve a hell of a lot more than this.
I wish this was easy Parker. Us. I wish it wasn't
complicated and Ben wasn't in the picture

and I wish I could have you without the guilt

that's currently killing me but it isn't easy, it is
complicated and Ben is in the picture and
like it or not I cheated on my long term
boyfriend last night and that shouldn't have happened.
I'm sorry for dragging you into this.
You deserve so much better. 

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