Helplessly in Love: A Taylor Lautner Love Story

Chapter Forty - Waffle Special

So sorry for the late update. I had a fellow student at my school recently pass away, so please keep his friends and family in your prayers.

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I had a glass of milk in my hands, sipping it as I stared out at the backyard from the large kitchen window. I took another sip before sitting down at the bar, putting my head in my good hand.

I exhaled loudly.

I was going to pieces for more than one reason. I really wanted, or needed my mother’s comfort this morning when I woke up. I needed her to tell me everything was going to be alright, and that I had nothing to worry about. But both her and my father left early for work this morning, leaving me to wake up to an empty house.

My thoughts continued to travel everywhere as I sat at the bar, mulling everything over. I figured it was alright if I took my time because it was only eight am, after all. I most likely would’ve gotten more than six hours of sleep if it wasn’t for the constant tossing and turning.

My stomach churned uncomfortably and I stood up again, pacing the kitchen. This was going to be one of those days.

I finished my glass of milk and headed upstairs, taking a shower and washing my hair carefully. I also decided it’d be a good idea to shave my legs and underarms in preparation for this evening. When I was done, I got dressed in simple jeans and a casual button-up shirt.

Despite the long amount of time I spent getting ready, it was only barely nine am. I groaned, putting a pillow to my face and screaming into it. When I was done with that, I spent five minutes brushing my teeth again, not including the time it took to floss.

After that, I went back to pacing, running nervous hands through my hair.

I couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling I had. My stomach knotted up at the thought of talking to Taylor about last night. My cheeks burned involuntarily, and I kept playing out different scenarios in my head. If I didn’t stop soon, I would talk myself out of talking to him about it. After going back and forth, I decided to just do it, no matter what. Because I love him, and I believe in my heart that he’ll respect my feelings because I know he loves me, too.

The other topic driving me crazy is this movie premiere I’m expected to attend in about six hours. Ever since he asked me to go with him, I’ve been on serious edge. I’ve never been this nervous in my entire life. I felt like vomiting and running around the world at full speed. I felt like singing at the top of my lungs and crawling into the fetal position. I felt excited and I couldn’t shake this scared feeling I had. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help but feel like a terrified little girl.

I had no idea how to go about this, and the fear of the unknown caused me to worry about everything; I had absolutely no idea what to expect tonight. I’m pretty sure that watching stars at premieres and actually being in a premiere are two totally different things.

But it didn’t matter how frightened, or nervous I was at the idea; I had to do it. There’s no way I’m backing out on Taylor because of my fear. I promised him that I would be there for him. The picture of his bright, excited eyes kept entering my mind when I even considered backing out, so of course I had to do it. I couldn’t do that to him, he’d be crushed!

I heard once that fear is just a figment of the imagination.

I hope that’s really true. And if it is, I need to imagine myself punching fear in the face.