Between the Rainbow (Strawberries and Cigarettes Series #1)

Chapter 21

Pursue

Shila's statement awakened something in me. And given the video I saw, I was eager to free him from the trauma.

Hindi niya kailangang matakot ngayon. At kung nahihirapan man siya, I am willing to lend a hand. I am willing to stay even if he doesn't want me the way I want him.

"Brent!" he called aggressively.

I pulled my t-shirt off and dived into his bed as I hugged the pillow.

"Tumayo ka nga!" sigaw niya at hinila ang paa ko.

No way, Shiloh. I am not leaving you. Awayin mo nalang ako.

Pumikit ako at hinayaan siyang magpapagod na hilain ang paa ko. Nang mairita, naglakad siya sa gilid ko at hinila naman ang braso ko.

I was so heavy that he's having a hard time pulling me. Dumilat ako at ibinaling ang ulo sa direksyon niya.

"Why did you leave?" I asked.

"P-Papatirahin mo na roon ang girlfriend mo, hindi ba? Kaya nagkusa na akong umalis," agresibo niyang sabi at umiirap pa.

It's always his words that confuse me. His words say otherwise to his actions of ignoring me. I guess we both suck at pretending, huh? Ako sa mga kilos at siya naman ay sa lumalabas sa bibig niya.

"I don't have a girlfriend," I admitted sincerely.

"Si Shila! 'Yung nursing! Kalat sa Department namin! Naririnig ko na kayo na raw!" I fired with dagger eyes.

Umiling ako. "I am not her boyfriend..."

"S-Sinungaling! Nakikita ko kayong magkasama!" He tried to pull my arm again, but I didn't budge.

Damn, Shiloh... What's with the shaky voice? You are not gonna give me these mixed signals when it was you who wanted the distance! It was you who pushed me away!

"But she's not my girlfriend..." I murmured.

"D-Doon pa rin naman 'yon patungo. Seryoso mo nga eh..." aniya sa namamaos na tinig.

Fuck.

No... You are not doing this to me...

"We ended it earlier..." I convinced more.

Kita ko ang pagkatigil niya. "At bakit?"

I closed my eyes. "Because... I saw your face while kissing her, and... she got offended because I stopped."

Nanatili akong nakapikit habang malakas na humahataw ang puso ko. He needs to know. I do not want to run away anymore. I do not want to pursue anyone anymore. I'm sick of proving that I am a man. Well, I could still stand as a man for him and protect him. That's it.

Dahan dahan akong dumilat. He looked so shocked and flushed that I admitted it in front of his face. Umiling siya habang kita ko sa mga mata niya ang kagustuhang maglagay agad ng harang.

I pulled myself up and sat at the edge of the bed as I let him stand in between my parted thighs. Itinulak niya ako ngunit hinawakan ko ang gilid ng baywang niya para mapirmi siya habang nakatingala sa kanya.

"She's not my girlfriend. Yes... I was planning to know her, but..."

I saw the hope in his weary eyes. Umiling siya at itinutulak ako ngunit determinado akong magpaliwanag.

"But I'm not gonna pursue her anymore. And... she knocked some senses out of me. We decided to... end it." I smiled weakly.

His eyes widened even more. Isang tulak pa, sinalo ko na ang pulso niya. And because the sleeve of his shirt was rolled up a bit, I caught a glimpse of the familiar bracelet I gave him on his birthday.