Baby // Bttm bangchan oneshots

12 years

choose defeat, i walk away"

when chan was younger he dreamt about being someone; someone who could help others, someone who could smile and make peoples day instantly better, someone who wrote music, who danced, sung, played instruments, he wanted to be that someone.

so he worked and he worked and he worked and he worked.

all it took was 7 years.

7 years and so much mental, physical, and emotional anguish; but he did it.

he had 7 boys, his members, friends, family, he had them with him all the time.

so why is it that he's sitting on the ledge of a roof ?

for old time sakes he thinks bitterly to himself.

it's not. he knows he's here to finish what he's always wanted to do.

but he takes his time to just sit and reminisce.

7 years as a trainee and 5 years as an official band.

12 years of his life to get to where he is and he's about to kill himself.

how'd it get to this point?

it's a stupid question, he knew he was never meant to grow old or at least past his 20s; he knew he was going to die young.

he just thought maybe with the fans and his members; it'd motivate him to keep living, to just take another step forward and then another and another and another.

it didn't, he should've known.

he knows it's going to bring a mix of emotions from everyone in his life; he just hopes no one will hate him or his members.

he feels the gentle breeze of the summer night float through his hair and engulf his body before fully passing through and moving on.

he takes a deep breath and looks down.

he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

he takes a deep breath and grips the ledge.

he takes a deep breath and pushes himself off.

he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

all he can see from where he's falling are the stars, the lights from the buildings, and the moon.

he takes a deep breath and he smiles; then he starts to laugh, spreading his arms out.

for once in his life chan finally feels free, he finally feels like nothing matters anymore, he finally has nothing more to worry about.

he thinks about everyone who's going to be hurt and he feels bad.

but he can't bring himself to care anymore; his entire life has been him putting others first, for once's he's so happy he chose to put himself first.

"maybe in another life we'll all meet again"

chan whispers to the universe before closing his eyes and hitting the ground.

"and leave this place the same today"

Do you guys want me to continue this one? even if this one isn't mine I really want to continue it!

Writer: Auggiethevampkid