Unsound Devotion

VIII

Another week passed, and Jess began to wonder if NYC was just a figment of her imagination, as Mrs. Trenton again didn't speak to her, ignoring her in class, not even giving her a glance. Jess tried to contact her via text, but after two attempts with no response she gave up. She was smart enough to know when to let go. That didn't mean she didn't feel it. Strange emotions appeared in her, she did not sleep much, she felt unreasonable anger, so that almost every day she went to play on the old football field to relieve the tension. Only Kate was able to put up with it.

"You know, I thought you were reticent before, now I wonder if you're mute." She said over lunch once.

Jess just sighed.

"What's the matter, huh? Something happened in NYC?" Kate dug in, putting down her sandwich and looking at her with concern. "Since we got back, you haven't been yourself."

"Stress, exams, applications." Jess grunted, losing her appetite for her apple.

"Bullshit. You've been telling me that for a week. You're a straight A student, you have a TA job, a contest, you were the captain of the basketball team. Don't worry, you'll get into Standford."

Jess nodded grimly. She had to refocus on what she'd been telling herself all along - escape, money, freedom.

"I have to go, I want to buy tickets to the Winter Prom." Kate said leaving Jess alone. Her phone vibrated.

Come to my classroom. She got a text from Eva.

She headed there to finally get some answers.

Eva was sitting at the desk when Jess walked in closing the door. The woman walked over to her and turned the key. She pressed Jess against the nearest wall and kissed her hungrily, running her hand over her body. Jess's brain shut down for a moment. It wasn't until Eva slowed to catch her breath that Jess firmly pushed her away from her, adjusting her shirt.

"You can't do that. You ignore me and then kiss me." Jess snapped at her, fixing her falling bangs. She definitely needed to go to the hairdresser.

"I'm sorry Jess... I don't know what to do. Every time I see you, I want to be close to you, to kiss you. I can't even look at you without feeling aroused."

"So that's what this is for you? Am I some kind of toy to use to please you?" The brunette felt her rage grow, clenched her fists.

"Of course not!" Eva raised her voice in exasperation. "I'm in love with you." She said quietly, looking directly at Jess with tears in her eyes. "Like some stupid teenager. And you're not even eighteen yet. You don't know how messed up this is. I'm twice as old as you, I have a husband, a mortgage and two children. And I love them more than my life ... the problem is that I love you too."

Jess processed her words very slowly. She decided to break them down into prime factors.

"I'm eighteen. I had my birthday last week."

"Wait... did you have a birthday when we were in NYC?" Eva stared at her in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything? We could celebrate it somehow. I didn't even give you a present."

"I got a great present..." Jess spoke slowly. "These gloves really come in handy."

Eva looked at her with growing eyes, then burst out laughing. And the brunette smiled involuntarily.

"You really are something else, Jess."

"You for me too. You're not someone I could pass by indifferently as I've been doing most of my life. I know I can't count on a relationship or anything else. I'm just asking you not to ignore me. I hate being invisible, especially in the eyes of someone who claims to love me." Jess said seriously.

"I didn't think about it, sorry. I was just considering my feelings."

"Like every human being." Jess sighed.

"And you don't want anything from me? You have no expectations?" Eva asked, walking over to her and stroking her hair.

"I have no right to them. I've made my point. If you're fair, so am I. That's all I'm asking for."

Eva nodded and kissed her, guiding Jess's hand under her skirt where she was dripping wet.

Fifteen minutes later, Jess left Eva's classroom and was about to go to her last lesson, but on the way, something caught her attention. Kate stood at the ticket booth, clearly uncomfortable. Jess walked over and saw that her friend had tears in her eyes.

"What's going on here...Kate?" She asked, looking at the cheerleaders who were laughing along with the guys from the gang. She saw Tara, who gave her an apologetic look.

"They won't sell tickets to me." Kate said softly.

"Why?" Jess turned to the cheerleaders.

"Because we sell couples tickets to the prom, you morons. And everyone knows that nerds don't go in pairs." Everyone burst out laughing and Jess got pissed.

"Fine. In that case, I'll buy two tickets to the Prom. If you don't sell them, I'll report to the director what you're doing in the locker room behind the pitch after training." Jess said quietly and everyone fell silent. One of the girls, Barb - the main school bitch, looked at her for a moment and then reluctantly handed her two tickets.

"20 bucks, if you have them, you freak."

Jess gave her the cash from the back pocket of her jeans, grabbed the tickets, Kate, and headed in the opposite direction to the exit. She was already late for class anyway, so it was better to just finish early.

"You didn't have to do that." Kate said as they stopped.

"You want to go to the Prom, right?" Jess asked simply.

"Yeah."

"So you have tickets."

"Will you really go with me?" Kate asked, blushing.

"Sure, you're my friend." Jess frowned.

"But you wear a tuxedo, okay? I already bought a dress." Kate said quickly, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and ran back to the school.

"I see you have another admirer." There was a familiar voice and Jess turned to Tara, who had come over to her, lighting a cigarette.

"huh?" Jess murmured.

"This girl, our math teacher... you're getting more and more popular."

"Why don't you let it go, I mean... Mrs. Trenton, really? There's nothing between us."

"So why was she so mad that she grounded almost everyone in the hallway after your show?" Tara wondered aloud, smirking at Jess.

"I don't know, maybe something pissed her off..." The brunette shrugged nonchalantly, adjusting her backpack and getting to her car.

"Jess, wait." Tara grabbed her hand and pulled the brunette's scarf out of her bag.

"You'll need it better, you've always been cold."

"Thanks, but I can't keep it." Tara blushed, still holding Jess's wrist. "Jake doesn't want me wearing it." She lowered her eyes slightly, taking a drag on the rest of her cigarette.

"Drop that shit." Jess murmured to her.

"Are you talking about cigarettes or my boyfriend?" Tara joked.

"About both." Jess freed her arm and headed toward the parking lot.

"If only it were that simple..." She heard Tara's quiet words.