Unsound Devotion

XXIV

Living in a motel was like living in a college dorm. Jess began to recognize the regulars and even got used to the sounds behind the walls and the occasional shooting in the parking lot. She spent all her days working. Over the last three months, she finished several small projects and the orders started pouring in. She saved some money but couldn't decide what to do. She could have left, started somewhere else, but something kept her in place. Something or someone...

This day in the middle of winter was extremely gloomy and chaotic. Jess cursed the weather several times. She almost fell into a ditch, avoiding a collision with a truck that could not brake on the ice. The supplier did not deliver the parquet flooring on time and the work had to be postponed by a week in the new house she was working on. The restaurant where she liked to eat dinner was closed today due to a power outage, and she was stuck in a traffic jam for two hours. So when she went to bed at night she was exhausted.

In the middle of the night, she was woken up by a loud knock on the door.

"Fuck, I'm coming!" Jess screamed, pulling her sweater over her head. She opened the door with a flourish, about to shout out to the person behind it, but closed her mouth when she saw Ella crying.

"What happened?"

"Jamie. He died this afternoon. Jess... my mother is going crazy. She doesn't want to leave him..." Elle cried, wiping her nose on the sleeve of her jacket. Jess slowly considered the meaning of her words. Jamie... that curious little man who was interested in almost everything...

"I'll take my jacket." She said quietly and returned to the room gathering her things.

They drove in silence in Jess' car. Elle cried quietly, pressing her nose against the glass. Jess couldn't find the words to comfort her. They were accompanied by soft country music.

"You still listen to this shit?" Elle said, faintly recognizing the old hit.

"My father listened to it... it kind of stuck with me."

"Mine just showed me how to be a dick. He left my mother alone with it all. We all left her. She barely left the hospital for the last few months. She was fired for absenteeism... and my father filed a lawsuit against her for child neglect, you know? Luckily my aunt put him in his place and he dropped the charges..." Elle said bitterly.

Jess listened in silence as she drove up to the hospital.

"I don't know what you'll find there, Jess. She was so crazy that they gave her something to calm her down."

"What about Ashton and your father?"

"Father is skiing, and Ashton... I think he went somewhere with his friends. He's been traveling around the world for a year. Father pays for everything." Elle said reluctantly.

Jess nodded and followed Elle. She took steps like crazy, bumping people along the way, until finally a nurse showed Elle to a room and they went inside.

Jess couldn't look at the small baby bed in the middle. Luckily they took Jamie's body away because she didn't know how she would bear the sight. Eva sat with her eyes closed in the armchair by the window.

"We gave her strong drugs. She should wake up in about two hours." Said the nurse.

"And my brother?" Elle asked.

"We took the body to the mortuary. I'm sorry."

Elle looked at her mother.

"Please stay with her. I have to prepare the funeral and fill out the documents."

Jess obediently stayed. When the door closed behind Elle, she sat on the floor, taking off her jacket, right next to Eva's chair.

She didn't close her eyes, staring at the empty bed and thinking about how many things she had missed. How much Eva had to go through alone... She looked at the woman, immediately noticing the dark circles under her eyes, the lack of make-up, the first gray hair standing out under the lamp light. Clothes were hanging on her. Jess could see Eva's collarbones sticking out and felt a lump in her throat. She looked away.