The Dark Heir - Nyx

59. Theia

When waking up in Nyx's arms, Theia was sure all would be right. It was a nightmare, a terrible dream conjured from her nerves and too much wine. The burn of her swollen eyes and the raw sensation in her throat was too telling that it was all real. She'd been manipulated and tested yet again, and then broke down entirely in front of them. She had wanted to hurt them, not look weak.

A whimper left her throat as she pressed her face into Nyx's chest, the sting of tears becoming too familiar. She felt so much shame for considering Azriel's taunting. Nyx had been there. He had been in her mind and knew what she had considered, and yet he still laid with her. He still held her as she cried and told her that he loved her. She felt like she had betrayed him in every way.

"You're okay," a throaty whisper sounded from above her head, vibrating the chest she tried to hide within. His arm tightened around her waist and his hand flattened to the back of her head. Theia fought the urge to cry against him. He didn't deserve to have her emotions and turmoil thrust upon him again. He did not need to hear the weight on her chest. Nyx held everything for her. He had taken all of her pain from the past and laid it over himself like a blanket of boulders on a bed of nails.

"I'm sorry," Theia whispered, not recognizing the voice that came from her. It sounded torn and broken.

"There's no reason to be. I have you, nothing will hurt you."

Her chest swelled as the tears won the battle. She didn't deserve such kindness from him. Not like this, where he held her to his chest and protected her even after she considered that with Azriel. It was somebody he had known his entire life, laughed with as a child, and Theia would've done it. Shame burned her cheeks.

"You don't deserve this, Nyx," Theia murmured, cringing at the way her voice broke. From the stories she had heard, there had never been a wedge between him and his family until she arrived. She tore apart a bond that should've been unbreakable.

She felt him lean back, tugging at her hair so he could meet her eyes. Her heart broke. He looked so tired, yet he was awake because she was full of sorrow and regret.

"Don't deserve what, Theia?" His tone was serious, like he knew where her mind had gone. Maybe he had, she didn't know. She didn't feel his presence within her mind but she hadn't had the strength to block him out, either.

"Everything I've done to you," Theia responded, her voice breaking. Another tear slipped from her lashes and she hated it. She hated feeling broken again. The highs had been too good, she should've known the downfall would've crippled her. The Mother wasn't fair in that aspect. The Mother knew that Theia didn't deserve such joy, not when she had never had it before.

"Explain." He wasn't angry, but his body was stiff. A warrior that knew when the blow would come and he readied himself to take the hit. It would hurt, but he'd been trained to take it without falter. Her chest ached more at that thought. He must be incredibly used to taking those hits from her.

"You have taken too much of my pain and all I've given you is more. I've torn you from your family and I put you through things that you should never have dealt with." Her words fell in sobs. Nyx's fist tightened in her hair and Theia squirmed, trying to get out of his hold. She didn't want his comfort; didn't deserve it.

"Theia," Nyx snapped, his hand pushing her hips into the bed. Theia didn't fear him, but she feared that he would continue to offer his comfort and support when she needed to get away from it. She shoved at his chest and slid back on the bed. When his hands weren't on her anymore, she sat up, running her own hands over her face. She was so fucking tired of crying.

"I've heard the stories, Nyx. You were so happy before me. I've ruined you because that's all I ever do. You don't want me, you shouldn't have me, because your life won't be the same." She was cut off by a shuddering sob, one that made the ache in her chest worsen. "Your family will always hate me and you will always fight with them. I need to go back to that stupid fucking village and just deal with it. I know this is the Mother telling me to stop it before it gets worse. Why would this time be different? We didn't work last time."