Dear Diary...

Dear Diary..... My dumbass EX - boyfriend.

We all dream about that dream guy, the sort you see in the movies "The perfect guy" "Mr Right" "Prince Charming" Unfortunately for me this guy was more like an idiot in tin foil. You might be wondering why I bring up my ex -boyfriend so early on, yet I think that this just as important as anything else.

To begin with he was sweet and caring, would take me out to dinner that sort of thing, then this whole mess started and I became a shell of myself, no one apart from my grandma one of my best friends in another part of the country and eventually my councillor.

This one night after I had the initial abuse we went out to dinner, it was snowing so perfect weather for a dinner date. It started like any other night, things were fine and then we saw him the toilet brush (he was the one who gave the first threat.) He came up to us with a few of his mates and started having a go at my Ex saying that he could do so much better than "A fat useless whale, who needs to go back to the ocean" I tried to get him to keep walking yet he just stood there frozen. Letting them abuse me and himself, he didn't even try and defend himself, nor did he ask how I felt after that, I think it was at that point when he realised that it was actually happening, and I didn't just make the whole thing up.

We lasted two and a half whole months (WHOOP WHOOP) he said that he would marry me, said that I was the one, he would say all this amazing stuff, and me being the gullible trusting person that I was believed  him, and really thought that he was the one for me, and that I couldn't find any better.

Time went on though and as that did he became withdrawn, he didn't like how I took my anger out, so became even more withdrawn, to the point that we barely spoke- barely did anything together- at this point it felt like we weren't even dating.

The coward couldn't even tell me face to face, so he privately mailed me through Facebook one night, saying that he wasn't sure how he felt about me anymore, and that was it. Within a week he had found someone else, A Filipino actress who was on the current movie that he was directing, from what I heard and figured out for myself he was dating her while dating me, and telling me that we were going to be together forever. I also found out that the fling didn't last too long.

It had been a good couple of months and just as I told him, I hurt him just like he hurt me. He even tried blaming me for his depression, telling me that loosing me was the worst thing that he could've done and that he wanted me back so badly. What a joke, he just couldn't handle how well I was doing again- I was more or less the old me- although I still wasn't entirely all there- I was doing much better and I was much happier.

The only good thing that came out of his sorry arse was a mint condition Men in Black jacket, a few DVD's and books. I do thank him though- regardless of everything, as if it weren't for jerks like him I wouldn't be who I am today, I would still be this stupid gullible girl, thinking everything would come right in the world.

I seemed to have this pattern of dating guys that turned out to be absolute jerks, the next guy I dated was a few years after the movie producer, and he was a wannabe artist, and an IT man- who go fired from his job as he wasn't good enough. At this point two years had passed and they were still harassing me- not as bad but still pretty bad. This guy was the sort of person to have a fit when I took my big travel blanket back.  He was also the first guy where I was the one who ended it, the "let's be friends thing" is a load of complete and utter crap- it just doesn't work, how the hell are you meant to be friends with someone that you either hate, or you still have feelings for- as I said it just doesn't work.

A few days after I found out that he was on a dating site- that he so kindly forgot to tell me, not only this, he was active on said dating site while we were going out. He told me he loved me, what a load of bull crap that was. Hell, I only dated him for so long because I felt sorry for him. As bad as this will sound/read however you want to say it, yes I did cheat on him- No I don't mean had sex with other guys, at that point of time, I just didn't care not about him, not about anything really.