It's been a while? Hasn't it ?
Maybe I didn't think I'd have anything else to say about this, maybe I thought that I'd healed mostly when 10 years came round and I didn't feel any of the anger or hate that I used to, yet 12 years? I dunno what happened this time Round, but it snuck up on me & struck at such an odd time, especially when I hadn't felt this strongly about it for ages..
Mostly it's whatever these days.
But I'm currently so far in my own head that I don't even know how to explain it though. My point is, I'm apparently not as over it as I'd like to think..
Do people actually heal from trauma? Do we as people ever get to the point of where at some point afterwards we are totally at peace with what happened, or is it just that as we grow and change or emotions about the certain thing grow and change with us?
I can't speak for anyone else. And I've only my really shitty experiences with things to go off. But some days when I'm in a really good mood and everything is going well I can look back on things, and while the events are still horrid I can at least think of then without the anger. Without the eternal rage that I often feel about it.
Can people change that drastically? Or did I just draw the short straw?
Sometimes even now, it's so hard to pretend that the crowds don't effect me, or meeting new people doesnt totally put me on edge, but finding out that one of these girls is doing really well, and won't feel remourse about what happened? Yeah that's triggered something in me. Ita definitely not jealousy.. but it's definitely something that makes me so angry. So upset. Why do good people get hurt so bad? Yet the people who are bad seem to get everything.
It's messed up then again the whole world is messed up.
This cycle will continue, people will always be victims & people will always think it's their right to be put others down. If you are reading this, and you don't know if it will ever get better, I don't know if it does.. but you can believe me for this: it does get easier to deal with, and that's the really important thing.
I will also say this, no matter how good you are you will always be the villain in someone else's story.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary...
Non-FictionHere's the thing.... We all get bullied in some way, shape or form, or we have all seen it and done nothing about it. I would like to be able to say that everything in the upcoming pages is absolute bull, and that I just have a sick twisted mind...
