What Was I Made For? ( GeminiFourth )

Chapter 6

"Don't you guys think it's weird?", Ford asked as they're hanging out at the small park in their school. Ford and Mark are sitting besides each other on the picnic table and Fourth is sitting the opposite of them.

"Gemini never acted like this not even once. They didn't even fight or anything and even so the fall out would happen gradually not immediately like this.", he added.

It'll be a lie if Fourth said he didn't think about it. Every day for a year he kept thinking of the reason why Gemini cut contact with him without any explanation, without any goodbyes. Now that Ford is pointing it out, it's just more obvious that the whole thing doesn't make sense.

Even his family who's so used to having Gemini in their house kept asking about him but Fourth doesn't have an answer to it. He couldn't tell them what happened because he himself doesn't know why.

"Sorry, Fourth. I didn't mean to bring it up but it's just been at the back of my mind now that we're graduating. It's good that you're moving on from that friendship and your crush on him."

After the whole ordeal, Fourth had a breakdown and confessed everything to the couple. He admitted to liking Gemini and that he was jealous of those fangirls and fanboys of his all those years.

But moved on? He's far from that. He went to every events Gemini had, he bought every products Gemini endorsed, he watched every single series, variety show, his ig live everything without fail.

It just seemed as if he downgraded from childhood bestfriend who lives right next door to just one of a fanboy in the sea of fans that Gemini have which is far beyond reach.

He hates Gemini for leaving like that but he still love him and his dream. He's still proud of Gemini and he still wants to support him.

Is it wrong if he said a part of him is still waiting? Waiting for Gemini to come back and apologise? Because if he does, Fourth would accept it with an open arms and forget all those things ever happened.

But also a part of him just wants closure. He just wants to know why so that if he can't be by Gemini's side anymore then the least he could do is move on.

"It's fine. I'm curious too honestly but let him be. He's happy with his career and his life now. I might as well do that for myself too.", Fourth shrugs his shoulder nonchalantly although his words were far opposite of his feelings.

"Right! So how are you and P'Pond?", Ford asked teasingly while poking Fourth's arm. "He's a real charming guy and he helped you a lot. Isn't it time to open up to him? You can't keep him waiting forever."

It was unexpected to say the least when 7 months into knowing each other, Pond confessed that he have good feelings towards Fourth and would like to flirt with Fourth.

The younger didn't have the heart to fully reject him but Pond knew that Fourth still like Gemini so he said he'd wait as long as Fourth would keep his heart open to accepting him in the future.

It's been a year now and he figured he should give this relationship a chance. It's not like he didn't like Pond, that guy has been nothing but an angel to him. Helping him reaching his goal, kind, soft spoken and very respectful. It's just that Fourth couldn't forget Gemini that easily so he felt guilty to start a relationship with the other.

"Well... That's kinda why I want to talk to you guys today.", Fourth started. "I want to accept him but I don't know how? Do I just meet him and be like 'hey let's date' or do I have to confess first with love letters or do I take him out on a date first. Help me! Y'all are practically married, help a single soul."

"I'm sure whatever you decided P'Pond will be ecstatic just hearing that you accept him. But for him hmmm... Maybe you should go out on a date first then by the end of it, you should tell him.", Ford answered with his expertise in the dating world. "Right, babe?", Ford asked Mark who's oddly quiet this whole time. He looks as if he's contemplating something, Ford took a mental note to ask his boyfriend once they're alone.

"Hmm... Got it, I think I have a perfect date in mind for that.", Fourth nodded his head with a gentle smile plastered on his face.

"Are you sure about this?", Mark suddenly interjected.

"What do you mean?".

"Dating Pond while you're not over Gemini completely."

"I don't think it's possible for me to get over him entirely, Mark. We've been together practically since we were born. There'll always be a part of him that will linger or something that will remind me of him whether I like it or not. So what choices do I have? I need to live my life too, no?".

"Well... Yes you're right.", Mark sighs as he agreed to Fourth's point.

Ford knew it, there must be something Mark is keeping from the both of them. Why would he suddenly said that after being silent this whole time? Somehow Mark is the only one who's still in contact with Gemini up until now and it's getting fishy how he's acting right now.

"Babe, is there something you're not telling us?", Ford tried to press.

"No- No nothing.", Mark shakes his head.

"Okay.... Well then Fourth tell us how it went with P'Pond later, kay."

"Yep will do."

.............................................

Fourth walks inside the music room in his family mansion where the grand piano that he used to play for Gemini is situated. He's usually the one who'll play the piano while Gemini practice his singing, often times he would comment about Gemini's pitch to help him sing better.

He was born with a great ear for tones and pitch. He could play any songs just by listening to it once. Fourth is talented too but he would shy away from the spotlight and let Gemini have the stage.

They've performed together in kindergarten too. The usual arrangement would be him hidden behind the piano and Gemini would be the center of attention with his singing. He never mind it one bit because little Fourth just wants Gemini to be happy. He doesn't crave recognition from anybody else.

Fourth takes a seat on the bench as he opens the cover of the piano. Like clockwork his fingers moves on its own, playing some random soft notes.

"When did it end... All the enjoyment. I'm sad again...", he starts to mumble some words to the rhythm of the piano he's playing.

Loving how it sounds he quickly took his iPad to write down the lyrics, matching it with the keys of his piano. This is the first time he ever liked anything he played randomly and just how naturally the lyrics flow out of his mouth.

He spent 2 hours in the music room finishing the song and at the end of it he's very satisfied with the finished song thus Fourth decided to record himself singing the song he composed on a whim.

I used to float,
Now I just fall down,
I used to know but I'm not sure now,
What I was made for,
What was I made for?

When did it end,
All the enjoyment,
I'm sad again,
Don't tell my boyfriend,
It's not what he's made for,
What was I made for?

'Cause I, 'cause I,
I don't know how to feel.
But I wanna try,
I don't know how to feel,
But someday I might,
Someday I might....

Think I forgot how to be happy,
Something I'm not, but something I can be,
Something I wait for,
Something I'm made for,
Something I'm made for....

He ended the song gracefully with his beautiful voice that he's always been insecure about. A smile made its way on his face as he looks at the camera.

He loves the song a lot. It conveyed everything he's feeling and singing it out somehow felt like he's letting go of those feelings. Like a relief of some sort.

Fourth found his new passion for writing songs. He did tried a couple of times before but he didn't like any of his previous compositions so he didn't bother to continue. This time however he put his heart into it instead of thinking from his mind and he thought maybe that's the key for writing songs.

It should come from the heart not the brain.