What Was I Made For? ( GeminiFourth )

Chapter 15

Fourth's POV

The car ride to the restaurant was awkward to say the least. It was silent the whole time. However, it does fascinates me that he can already drive.

He looks like a real adult now. He have his life all figured out and it seems like he's enjoying it too. At least one of us is living the life they always dreamed of.

We finally arrived at one of my favourite Japanese restaurant after a 10 minutes drive. I don't know if he's doing it on purpose but did he still remember about this place?

It was on my 13th birthday when he saved up what he thought was enough money through his commercial gigs to bring me here and celebrate. He went above and beyond while ordering which resulted in not having enough money to pay. It's a boujee restaurant in the first place. In the end, his dad have to come and rescue us, well paid for the extensive birthday dinner.

Surely one of my core memory.

The waitress guides us to one of the private room, the ones where we need to sit on the floor. Very authentic Japanese style. I didn't notice this was here before, well even so I don't think we could even afford this room back then with his gig money.

A little smile unknowingly made its way adorning my lips.

"Have a seat.", Gemini gestures as the waitress left us.

I lower myself to the floor and sits on one of the comfortable cushion where he takes a seat at the opposite of mine.

"Do you smile like that to everyone?", he said out of nowhere, confusing me.

"What do you mean?"

"You were smiling so fondly at the waitress just now, it doesn't look like your usual polite smile.", he said nonchalantly as he flips through the menu.

Oh... I didn't realised that I was smiling at the waitress even, I was just overwhelmed with past memories that it just came up on its own. But why would he mention that?

"Doubt you'd still remember my smile.", I shrugged.

"Trust me, I remember every little details about you. I have eidetic memory, Fourth.", he smiled, however it was one that didn't reach his eyes. It somehow showed... Sorrow? Or was that regret?

"Right, that magical brain of yours."

He didn't reply afterwards and we fell into another awkward silence as we eat. The food were still the same as before nothing changed but he definitely ordered too much again.

"Eat more.", Gemini said as he saw me put down my utensils.

"No, thank you. I've had plenty.", I'm fully stuffed. After I lost all those weight I'm not a big eater anymore. Sometimes it's hard for me to finish even one normal serving.

"You eat so little. You used to eat more of these."

"Used to should be the keyword here.", I said getting a little annoyed.

Why is he acting as if he still knows me? I've changed over the years he had left.

Yeah, I might still harbour some feelings towards him but I'm only human, I also feel the resentment of him leaving me without any word. Him acting as if nothing changed fuel the forgotten anger I had in me.

"What do you want to talk about? Just say it. I don't have all day."

I could see him opening his mouth a couple of times only to close it again, seemingly not knowing how to start. He looks nervous somehow.

"I- Hmm... I apologise for what I've done. I left without saying anything and I ignored you. I'm sorry. I have no other words than I'm truly sorry.", his eyes locked with mine, I could see sincerity in it but I wasn't satisfied.

He hurt me. He threw away our friendship. He left when I needed him the most.

"Why did you do it?"

What I didn't expect was his answer. He explains to me in great details of what happened back then. Be it his stalker that threatened to hurt me, why he quit school, the agency's rule and his reputation that made it hard for him to get back to me.

But he could've at least just text me something, no? No one will find out...

"I know you're not going to forgive me easily but I'll gain that trust back, if you let me.", Gemini ended.

"And if I didn't let you?", it was a hypothetical question but I still anticipate a solid answer.

"Then I'll beg for it. We'll be seeing each other often now that we're gonna be working together which I'm so thankful for this opportunity. So I'll make good use out of it.", he sounded determined.

"Was that the only reason? Because we'll be working together and you can't run away from your guilt anymore?"

"Fourth...", a sigh leaving his mouth. "It's not like that. It's true that this situation has made me face head on about us but that was not the reason. I-"

"Why didn't you just text me? All these years I didn't change my number, in hope for one single message you'll leave for me.", I cut him, feeling the frustration with his reasoning. "Why Gemini, why?! Despite all those that happened back then you could've at least say goodbye. Just a text. A text! We were bestfriend. We spent every waking moments together. You said you'll stay by my side but what now? Do I mean that little in your life? Is this what you are as a person? You used me as your sidekick until you got what you want then you threw me aside and didn't look back?"

I wasn't aware that this much anger has been residing in my heart after all this time. It's infuriating how he could just throw me away and ghost me as if I never meant anything to him.

"No. Fourth no. You mean the world to me and you know that."

"No I don't know, Gemini. I don't. And you've made it clear by leaving me alone on the darkest day of my life."

"Fourth...", his hand reaches out on the table for mine which I quickly retreated it away from him.

"If you're not going to tell me the real reason of all these. I'll just think of you as this kind of person from now on."

"Fourth we...", I stood up from my seat even before he could say anything else. Everything that he said now will only fuel on my anger and I hate the person I'm becoming right now.

I don't want to let my emotions speaks for me. So I better leave.

"Don't worry. I'll act professionally for the sake of the series because for once, I wanted something strong enough that no one can ever stop me again. You just happened to be there as a reminder that I shouldn't let anyone outshine my actual potential."

With that I storm out of the restaurant without a second glance. Not giving him any more chances to break my heart again.

I wanted closure, yes. But now fuck that.

Because if I was ever in his shoes, with how much he meant in my life, be it as my crush or as my bestfriend. There's still a thousand different ways to keep him safe, to follow the rules without leaving him in the dark.

But I reckon, I just didn't mean as much to him as how important he is in my life.

I got it now.

This is the closure I've been wanting.

.............................................................

Author's note:

Fourth's reputation era is coming 🐍