[JD]

dont be you

sad chapter, cause I'm sad :(

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I sat bored in math class, desperate for anything to make the time go faster. Voices behind me like birds chirping in trees caught my attention.

'Like, why does she dress like that?' 

'Her voice annoys the hell out of me,'

I wonder who they're talking about. I feel bad for whoever it is, it feels shitty to have people talk about you behind your back.

'I can't believe JD actually likes her. She's so gross,'

Oh. 

It's me.

'I don't think he does, I think secretly he wants her to kill herself,'

What? Why would anyone say something like that?

'I heard that the reason she's so skinny is because her parents starve her,'

'I heard she got with the science teacher to raise her grades,'

'She's fucking psycho,'

Of course I knew none of this was true, but it still hurt. It still made me feel icky thinking about what they said. I had to listen to them pick out every insecurity I had and make up lies about me for the remaining 30 minutes of class. About how I was clingy, how JD hated me, how I was secretly being domestically abused, how I was a slut and every other disgusting and hurtful name under the sun.

When the bell rang I gathered everything I had and skipped the next period to cry in the bathrooms. I felt pathetic. I felt disgusted by myself. 

I just have to be better..more like them...

When I met up with JD after school I was quiet. He was talking to me, but I was too spaced out and tired to reply.

"Hey. I'm talking to you," he said, grabbing my face to look at him.

He saw how tired I looked and his expression softened.

"What's up with you?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said in a whiny voice, moving his hand away from my face.

"Oi, don't do that," he said moving his hand back to my face. 

"Stop! JD, just drop it!" I said, tears beginning to form in my eyes as I tried to move his hand again.

"Uh uh. Why're you upset? It's not nothing," he said, grabbing my wrists to stop me from moving.

"I said it's fine! Stop.." I said, surrendering my movement and instead putting my head in his chest.

"C'mon, baby. Talk to me," JD said, scratching my head softly.

"It's fine..you wouldn't get it," I said, choking back sobs.

"Try me," he challenged.

"It's just a bunch of dumb girls," I sniffed. 

I felt pathetic. I was in a school hallway crying into JD's chest because some stupid group of girls are so unhappy with themselves that they needed to make fun of others. Even though mostly everyone had left the hallway at that point, I still felt like my emotions were being put on full display.

My arms had wrapped around JD's torso at this point, and one of his around my waist. 

I pulled away, gathering my things. I wiped off the makeup running down my face.

"They do that again, I'll fuckin' kill them for you," he said, smirking.

That was about the closest to an "I love you" you can get out of him.

"Noted," I giggled.

I turned around, backpack in hand, facing JD.

"Shall we?" he said, putting out his hand like a prince.

"We shall," I said, smiling uncontrollably.