something like blood | natasha romanoff

chapter 13

i woke up to the cool breeze of the air conditioning hitting my face. i tried to sit up to stretch and rub my eyes until i discovered a cold piece of metal tied to my wrists and ankles. i was chained to the bed.

immediately memories of the red room began surfacing their way into my mind. being chained to the bed, always with a knife in arms reach because nobody was safe, not even from the people you thought wouldn't hurt you.

but not just those memories, memories of the times when we would be strained, pushed until our bodies gave in. dancing until our toes were bleeding, shooting until our fingers and arms were numb.

i reached my hand down towards my thigh where my gun would usually be kept, to feel nothing there but my leather suit.

i needed something to get rid of the thoughts or i was sure i would explode. i've never been taught how to deal with feelings before so i usually just go practice shooting or dance.

with being restricted to the point where i couldn't move, i was getting more and more agitated by the minute.

i had nothing to do, nothing to think about and nothing to say. i just laid down staring at the ceiling admiring the intricacies on the material.

-

after what felt like an eternity of waiting for something to happen, captain america came in.

"we need to talk" he said to me, to which i raised an eyebrow. "is that supposed to be a threat, cause if it is you sure need to work on them" i replied.

he just stared at me like i was being stupid. how rude.

"what happened back there?" he looked at me and gave me a slight nod, hinting for me to start speaking.

i shrugged, "you're my mission, what's confusing about that" i said, staring into his eyes harshly.

"what's confusing about that is that you were fine with nat and wanda earlier but then it's like a someone flipped a switch in your mind and you became someone else" he told me.

"that's because i was somebody else" i shrugged, not wanting to continue this conversation any longer.

his posture seemed to build as he asked me "can we trust you?" to which i replied "depends on the situation" which wasn't a lie, i wanted to be here but i didn't want to disobey the red room.

he unlocked the door to my cell and walked in, taking the cuffs off my wrists and ankles, leaving a bright red mark that was sure to bruise. i stood up and let out a sigh of relief as he walked back out of the cell.

"you coming?" he said, looking back at me. i smiled and followed him as he walked away leading me into an elevator.

he told the elevator to bring him up to the meeting rooms. i was stood in the elevator by his side until he broke the silence, "im steve, nice to meet you" he said, "athena, you too" i shook his hand, trying to be polite.

the door to the elevator opened and we walked outside and to a room where there was a table with all the avengers sitting around it.

i followed steve in as he sat down whilst i was still stood up, not knowing where to go.

one of the redheads who i assumed to be wanda patted the space next to her and i went to sit down, appreciating the act of kindness.

after a minute of small talk between the heroes, the door burst open. in walked the guy who was in the big bulky suit. tony stark. i knew him from when i was looking into him at the red room, preparing to take him down before i got transferred to hydra.

"right, hi everybody. hi kiddo" he said, waving slightly at me. i smiled back to him as if i wasn't planning to kill him a few months prior.

the meeting was going well, about the mission at hydra rescuing bucky, until my name was brought up.

a blue hologram of me and all my information came up in front of tony as he looked at it, inspecting it.

"rockwell, athena svetlana" he tilted his head to the side in approval. "born and raised in the red room, transferred to hydra age 14"

he kept repeating out all of my information until one caught my ears, "mother, unknown. father, deceased" i looked up at him with shock. my mother was still alive? but that's impossible, i killed her. i shot her, i was right there.

"no" i interrupted. everyone looked at me, "my mother's dead, i know she is"

"how so kiddo?" i hesitated before i answered, "i killed her" they all looked at me, as i looked down at my lap regret lacing my facial features. "but, it says here that she is alive?" i nodded in agreement. "i thought she was dead my whole life"

after the meeting, everyone began filing out. i was almost completely out of the room before i heard tony call me. "don't you want to know where your mother is?" he asked me.

i turned around and looked at him. "i suppose i do"

tony brought me up to his lab and we began searching everything, hoping to find anything on my mother. we checked S.H.I.E.L.D files, my files, everything that could possibly link to my mother.

but we found nothing. absolutely no trace of her.

for all we know she could be on the other side of the world with a husband and children, forgetting i even existed.

i got pulled out of my thoughts when wanda came in and told us dinner was ready.