something like blood | natasha romanoff

chapter 22

tw: sexual assault, rape

we all sat down on the couches or the floor since there wasn't enough space for all of us.

i was sat in the middle of the big couch with natasha on my left and bucky on my right. next to bucky was also steve, crammed into the corner. on the smaller couch to my left was tony and someone else who had strawberry blonde hair, presumably tony's wife as they were cuddled up together. on the couch to my right was the falcon guy and arrow guy. below me on the floor was wanda and everyone else.

clint stole the remote and browsed through an app called netflix. there were so many movies, none of which i knew.

"athena? any ideas?" he asked me. i looked at him before thinking, "no, i've never really watched movies like this before"

wanda looked up at me with the most over dramatic shocked face i have ever seen. "you've never watched mean girls, or gilmore girls!?" she practically screamed.

"nope" i replied. wanda got up and snatched the remote out of clint's hand before searching up mean girls on the app.

she pressed play and we all relaxed into our seats. i was excited to actually watch a proper movie, since i always got given the gorey version of every disney movie alive.

we were about half way through the movie before my eyes got heavy and i had to force myself to stay awake, because one, it was embarrassing falling asleep in front of everyone, and two, i would just be woken up again by a nightmare.

i kept blinking to help stay awake but somehow that made my eyes even weaker, and my head was starting to hurt from the tiredness and the brightness and volume of the tv.

nat noticed this and whispered into my ear, "sleep, it's okay. i'm here"

immediately i leaned my head against nat's shoulder and closed my eyes, sighing in content.

natasha hugged her arm around my shoulder, pulling me even closer to her. the sense of comfort i got from this woman i had only known a few days was unreachable.

eventually i fell into the slumber of sleep and hoped not to get woken up.

-

i take it back, i knew it was going to happen.

i bounced up, my eyes staring daggers into the wall in front of me. i had just woken up from another nightmare. however this time i was in my bed, natasha must've moved me.

my body was hot and wet, with sweat trickling delicately down my soft tan skin.

my eyes filled with salty water as i recalled the moments from the nightmare.

i watched as the other girls were dismissed. i failed, i knew i had. i missed the shot, it was too far away from the center.

i stood there frozen, scared of what was coming. i knew what it would be, this happened often as it was the only thing that the red room knew scared me. they had done every other punishment but nothing worked, no matter how bad it was.

i had to stay strong to show them that i was capable and worthy. it was my only source of validation.

however whenever they did this to me, i felt as though the one thing that i had left of me was being violated and claimed as someone else's. i felt scared, and i couldn't help it. so this is what they did to me whenever i needed a punishment.

tw

two guards came in, and i turned to look at them.

they both smirked at me, walking quicker to me whilst also looking me up and down.

as they came closer, my body tensed up and i licked my lips. they stopped in front of me and madame b told them, "she's all yours" and left.

that was when my heart started to race and my eye's welled up with tears.

i knew what was coming, and i was dreading it more than anything i've ever experienced.

they began taking off their clothes before putting their hands onto my body. they touched me everywhere. they dragged their hands all over my body, from my breasts down to my legs.

they decided they had enough and ripped my clothes off, but i fought back. i kicked their legs and they buckled over, but they quickly regained their balance and stood up.

they took hold of my arms and picked me up, taking me over to the table which also coincidentally had arm and leg cuffs for graduation ceremony's. they tied me down and i started screaming.

i had no control over anything.

one of them came closer to me and stuck his shirt in my mouth to stop me from screaming, whilst they other one was caressing my leg.

it was awful. i stopped screaming and turned to crying. i had tears streaming down my face and my chest was moving up and down far too quickly.

i felt something enter me and i started trying to fight it, but i couldn't.

end of tw

i still felt them all over me, it was only about two weeks ago when it last happened. immediately, i stood up and went over to the shower. i didn't want to feel them anymore, i hated every part of it.

i got in the shower and started scrubbing my body as hard as i could with all the soap i could find with the hottest water setting.

i felt as if my body was burning off but honestly, i didn't care. i felt as if their touch was leaving me, so i did it more.

by the time i had finished, my skin was bright red and very painful.

i got out the shower and put a new set of pyjamas on. i got into bed and i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep. instead, i stared at the ceiling and thought about my life.

how i was in the same place as the avengers, my supposed enemy, how i found myself almost attached to one. it was weird, i felt loved.

i know i shouldn't, but i did.