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Chapter Seven - Mend


"Come on mom! I'm ready!"

I find myself standing before the house I grew up in back in California and watching as my younger self bounds down the steps and onto the driveway excitedly. A deep sadness envelopes me when the sweet sound of my mother's laugh echoes in the air as she steps outside and waves goodbye to dad.

Naomi West was a beautiful woman. I got most of my features from her and was always proud when people told me that I was almost a copy of my mother. Her skin was much deeper than mine though, a darker brown color, thanks to her Nigerian heritage but there were areas such as her cheeks and lips that were lighter to display hues of pinks and reds breathtakingly.

I always told her how beautiful she was and how I wished that I didn't have the green specks in my eyes from dad that made my eyes look muddy, or how I didn't have her body or how I couldn't tame my hair as perfectly as she could. She'd always laugh it off and tell me how important it was to love and be kind to yourself. Naomi West was a strong woman, a loving mother, a sweet angel. She was perfection in my eyes, my whole world.

She's also six feet under the ground because of me.

I want to scream at her not to get in the car, not to fulfil my wish to spend some time with her, to go back inside our home where it's safe. But in the blink of an eye, I'm sitting in the backseat spectating the beginning of a nightmare. One that never ends. One that revisits me every few months to remind me of what I had done.

"I'm so excited! Can we get ice cream too mom?" Younger Faye bounces in her seat as she beams up at the woman.

"Of course, sweetheart. It is a girl's day after all." She replies and my heart hurts from hearing her soft voice. It felt like a warm, comforting hug that I'll never have the pleasure of receiving anymore.

"Yay!" I watch myself cheer as mom stops to turn onto the busy main road. "Abel's going to be so jealous!"

She laughs and I feel frozen from my position in the back. I'm unable to speak, to warn her of what's to come. I couldn't help her then and I can't help her now. There's a wedge of emotion blocking my throat as hot tears well in my eyes, slipping down my cheeks as I feel the car lurch forward only for my mother to gasp.

I look to the right and see a car speeding through a red light heading straight for us. My mom jams the stick in reverse but it's too late. The car hits us violently and my world tips on its axis as we're flipped over and over and over until we come to a slow stop with metal screeching and groaning in protest.

"Mom!" Both me and my fourteen-year-old self scream and reach out for her.

"Faye..." Mom breathes and a pained sob breaks free from us. Mine more heartbroken. "Faye...are you..."

I watch as she trails off simply because she's lost consciousness. There's blood on one side of her face and her body is mangled in a mess of broken limbs and the tight seatbelt holding her in place. Younger Faye cries because she knows something isn't right, she can feel dread creep up her spine as she shakes her mom who doesn't respond. I wish I could comfort her.

"M-Mom? Mom, I-I...wake up! Wake up please! I'm scared!"

"Faye!"

I frown at the masculine voice but disregard it as I shift forward to caress her hair. It all feels so real that I find it had to breathe. I place a lingering kiss to her head and whisper that I love her.

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