Midnight Is Ours

Your Way

It's been a month and a half, and only now, his majesty has decided that I was worth his time and effort after all.

"Hey" in a little green box, after I deleted all our messages in another depression episode. Deep down, I knew we were bad for each other -- I just couldn't seem to quit you.
I decided to play along, even though I knew how this would go.

"hey."

You sprung into action, typing some excuse. I rolled my eyes, switching off my phone. I toss and turn in my bed. I looked, just for interest's sake: nothing.

"I'm sorry."

I wanted to say that that's not enough. I wanted some stability now, I was grown now.
Another chat pings, a bubble of text. Eli.

Not him, anyone but him. Go away.

But he doesn't. He sends another message.

"Hey, it's Eli, your mom gave me your number?"
"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."
"We're going to the library tomorrow for our third session, be ready."

I scoffed, powering off my phone.

***

It was still 6 o'clock, I decide on going to to the library. Avoid the staring right now. I wouldn't be able to face anyone, not right now. Not when I failed math as epically as I did. I've been going since I was a child, since the ripe age of forever.

I only stopped to take a breath - a whiff of the cold, evening air at the open, steel gates of the underfunded institute. I scuffed my shoes on the navy-blue carpeting.

Maybe I looked too distraught, because all the librarians gave me a look -- confusion? I didn't want to explain that I, their beloved hope for the next generation, that my dream to be a librarian was temporarily halted. I greeted regardless, rushing by to the middle school section where I knew it'd be - and reached down, crouching, to take a copy of Porter Jared. The characters always made me feel good, like I belonged.

The library was split into three sections: Reference for studying and research, Children's for kids and finally, Adult's. I didn't feel like I belonged there yet.
I don't think I've ever belonged to anything or anyone in my life, even today, not quite.

I left to sit in the reference section, trying to walk past the sympathetic administrators swiftly ... and then he walked in.

Elijah Nox, the pain in my ass. I didn't know this guy. All I knew about him was his stormy blue eyes - like an angry sea, waiting to consume any ship that was stupid enough to get caught - and his sandy blond hair beautifully tousled around from the wind outside.

An intrusion to my real home.

He sat opposite me, taking out a book with a key, a bee and knife on the cover. Pretty book cover, my hat's off to the illustrator.
I looked up to see him glaring at me with those blue eyes, and looked back down, turning the page. I tried to shake it off, wondering if I didn't look intimidating to him, still dressed in my alternative outfit.  I opened my mouth to say something, but closed my mouth as he turned the page. A Stygian Marine.

I looked up at the angry boy. "Do you mind?"

"Sorry." I went back to my book, making small glances but looked away. Was he not supposed to be tutoring me? Or was he trying to give me a hard time too, like I promised him I would?

He got up, taking the book to the front desk and started to leave. I got up, grabbing his sleeve. "Where do you think you're going? You're supposed to --"

"-- teach you?"
"Yes!"

He laughed -- loudly, so much that I was sure it rang in every corridor.
"I can't teach if you can't be taught."

Memories began to swim in my mind: "Are you stupid?" "Why is this so difficult for you?"

"Fine ... I'll do it your way."