Choice is mine

Carry me

there will be smut in this chapter :)
*
Without sleep life was longer. It's not like my life wasn't extended, because it was. But the hours felt like days and the minutes felt like hours. Every moment on the plane ride home my mind drove me crazy. I let Carlisle hold me the whole way. Not worried that his arms would get tired.

My mind has become quicker ever sense I changed. So my thoughts run faster and my worries become stronger. Carlisle smoothed my hair down and kissed it for hours. I didn't know what to do with myself so I stayed curled up.

He carried me off the flight, to and in the car. And when we parked at the pack house he carried me in. When I saw everyone at the table my eyes skipped to Paul. I drop myself and sprint over. His eyes were grew huge and purple eye bags hung from them. He looked pale and sickly. I stop myself before our bodies touch. He seems disgusted by me, but instead of taking his anger out on me. I runs over to Carlisle and catches him in time, considering his malnourished muscles and sleep deprived body, he blew punch after punch at Carlisle.

He took him down to the ground and his skin started to steam. I try to run over and again, I try to cry, leah holds me back. So all I can do is watch Paul try to rip up the only man that knows the new me. Paul transforms into a wolf and goes to tear off his head when Carlisle throws him across the field, as if he was letting him get his fair amount of punches in.
Paul launches again and they clash holding each other's shoulders, Paul's sharp teeth snap at his face and growl as drool drops from his chin.
Carlisle grinds his teeth and throws Paul onto the floor. I find my shot to run between them, cliche I know but that's the only way I know to stop them from killing each other.

I stand infront of Carlisle. I don't know what to say so I stay silent and let the lack of words speak for itself. Paul stops infront of me. His snarling stops and he looks me up and down before transforming back. His eyes are full of salty tears and he towers over me, he is a few inches taller than Carlisle which is why he has so much power in the pack.
"I'm sorry" that's all I can say. I can't look at his eyes. I can't imagine to face him with my red eyes again. That would hurt him even more.

"Your still you right?" I didn't think he would ever speak to me again. My head shoots up and he flinched a bit when he gets a glimpse of my eyes again. "I'll always be me, I'll never change" my hands rest in my pockets and I find this opportunity to take off the ring that mysteriously was placed on my hand. I know the volturi didn't give it to me and neither did Carlisle, it must be apart of my gift. Paul takes another hard and king look at me before resting his head on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around my waist. I let his hair and soothe him like a small child. He slowly falls to his knees and kneeling in front of me sobs into my stomach.

Avoiding all eye contact with Carlisle I look down at the man clinging to me. His sobs rip through his chest and his arms are strong around my body as if he loosened at all I would slip away. My fingers twist through his hair. He is so tall thag him kneeling upright makes him half my height. The pack go back into the house and Carlisle stays. At a safe distance he watches. When Paul pulls himself back together I whip his sticky tear soaked cheeks and kiss every part of his face. And his next words cut me deep.
"Your so cold" I forgot how cold Carlisle was to me before I changed. And now that I'm a vampire Paul has to experience that from me.

"But my heart isn't" I nods and Carlisle walks over. Paul is alert instantly and wraps his arm around my waist. "Mackenzie will be staying with me at the house" Carlisle opens his mouth to protest but nods in agreement. "But, I will consider you staying" I'm surprised. I look up to Paul and I know those words hurt him to stay. And I can see the equal surprise on Carlisles face. "If that is okay with you" Paul hesitates but nods. It's night out, already and I fear if that if I look at the stars I would kill one of the men that I hold so close to me. I jog inside to catch up with Paul giving a half ass tour.

"And that's my room" he throws his hand over to the door and Carlisle thanks him with honesty sewn into his voice. I smile and try to appreciate Paul at least trying to make an effort for them to get along. This process will be a lot to get used to, us possibly living together and Having to organize how to hunt, will they hunt together? Me and Carlisle don't sleep so what will we do when Paul does? Will that be our time and when Paul is awake I'm all his? These are just the surface of my questions and I'm sure they have many more than I do.

"It's late, everyone has gone to bed" I say noticing the empty table and quiet home. Paul looks around like he hasn't noticed. "Paul I think you need to-"
"I'm fine-" he snaps. I notice he instantly regrets it when he looks at my eyes and shame clouds his eyes.
"You need some sleep" I say. He nods and I tuck his inky black hair behind his ear. I take his hand and lead him into the bedroom and as I'm closing the door behind me I lock eyes with Carlisle and I smile. I hope he doesn't leave. As if Paul is my child I open the sheets for him to crawl into and tuck him I , kiss his forehead and scratch his back with my nails until he is knocked out. And only when I'm sure he is deep into rem sleep I walk out clothing the door lightly behind me.

Carlisle hasn't left. He stood exactly where I left him like a dog that lost his owner. I put my finger over my lips signaling he cannot be loud and he smiles.
I shyly walk over and lay a kiss along his lips. He smiles and leans in quickly like he couldn't wait another moment. He takes control of it. Letting out lips morph and merge as one. He pulls me into his body and my waist is pressed up against the bulge in his pants.

He walks us over to the couch and sits me down by pushing me. But our lips never part. I run my hands through his silky blonde hair. I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up and he pulls away to use his vampire speed and remove his shirt. He speeds to my neck and grabs it. Hard enough that I cannot speak but not to hard It hurt. I gasp as he nibbles at my skin and leaves a trail of kisses and possible marks on my neck. I feel for his belt and pull at it, trying to get it undone but my mind is elsewhere. Finally I manage to yank it off and unzip his fly. He laces his fingers deep into my hair as I hold his large bulge in my hand. I feel his grip on my hair significantly tighten when I do and I smile into the kiss. I massage him and add pressure to the underside.

I adjust my seating position on the couch so I'm on my knees. He pulls his head away when I slip my hand into his boxers. He is so hard and he pulses in my hands. Pre Cum already leaking. He looks down at me and around the living room like we would get caught any minute.

I pull him out and see his large size. I make eye contact as I lick him from the base all the way up to the head. He shutters and whimpers twirling his fingers deeper into my hair all the way up to my scalp. I take him fully in my mouth and he moans deeply. I Bob my head back and forth not forgetting a single inch of him. I handle his balls in my hands and my spit drips onto them acting like lubricant. He is so big that when he is fully in my mouth he is halfway down my throat. Thankfully I don't have to come up for air so I'm going faster than any human girl could. When his moans get to loud for anyone to stay asleep I pull away knowing that he was close. He grunts and pushes me onto the couch and gets on top. I giggle as I watch him frantically pull at my pants and push my panties to the side refusing to take another second removing them.

Without any hesitation he pushes his cock into me and I'm already soaking wet and he whimpers into my shoulder. But only gives me a second to get used to him before he start thrusting into me with no mercy. It's the best I've ever had. With his vampire speed and strength he pumps faster and harder with every second. I can't make any sound with my body just trying to understand the pleasure that is coursing through my veins. But then I hear a door click open and so does he. So he pulls out and covers us with a blanket. But before we could think of an excuse or pretend to be doing something else, leah stands there, notices the pants on the ground and gaps covering her eyes.

"I'm so sorry oh my god," she runs back into her room and I realize that this is the second time Carlisle was edged for the day. I smile at him and he pushes back into me and instead of giving me a minute he pounds with rythme and skill. It's shaped so perfectly that it hits my G-spot every time. He bites my shoulder and I claw at his back so hard that it would tear a human skull apart. I muffle my moans into his hair and the couch arm rest and the sound of his whimpering and moaning makes me so wet that I am almost dripping striaght onto the couch. I don't know how long we were going at it but maybe an hour later he speeds up and I know he is close because he is almost crying from pleasure. He cums into me hard and my orgasm hits me like a thousand trains. My back arches but he doesn't stop until I ride it out completely.

We giggle like stupid teenagers as we get dressed and clean up. For the rest of the night we sat on the porch cuddled up in each other's arms watching the stars.