Mr. Murphy's Mattress

vii. Only I

Well, a week went by without saying a word to Cillian. You didn't talk in his class anymore. You didn't even say "Here" when he'd call your name for attendance. You'd just let him mark you off himself.

He couldn't bare to look you in the eyes. He couldn't even ask you if you were okay, couldn't even look at your paper when he'd walk around the classroom.

Sleepless night after sleepless night, you felt as if you were going insane. You didn't know where he was sleeping. What if he was with his wife? Happy with his kids?

You didn't want to know.

And him, he didn't want to know if you'd seen anyone else, for some sort of comfort. He didn't like that his only thought was you, all the time, every second of the day.

His heart ached without you reminding it that it was loved.

-

On a Tuesday morning, Scarlet walked into the bathroom to see you on your knees, bent over the toilet gagging. "Oh my.." Scarlet sighed, bending down to you to hold your hair up. "Was it something you ate?"

"I don't know," you said, clearing your throat. Scarlet filled up a small cup of water and handed it to you.

"Drink this, slowly." She brushed your hair back and frowned seeing you so sick. "You should go to the doctor."

"I'm okay, it's probably just a stomach bug. I'll just rest up," you assured, standing up slowly. Scarlet held your hands and looked at you.

She quickly bent down and grabbed a small box from under the sink cabinet. "Here, you should take one of these." Scarlet pulled out a pregnancy test from the box.

Your heart sank into your stomach, and you could practically feel your face turn white like a ghost.

"You think I'm—"

"Y/N, take it," she whispered, holding your hand. You slowly nodded and squeezed her hand, opening up the pregnancy test packet. Scarlet walked out.

You pointed the tip at where you were peeing, and then flipped it so you wouldn't see the result. You dried off the test with a paper towel and waited for a moment.

You slowly turned the test.

And in black, it read,

Pregnant.

You covered your mouth and screamed at the top of your lungs, causing Scarlet to come rushing in. "What? What is it? You're pregnant, aren't you?" Scarlet shook your shoulders.

She watched as you broke down, beginning to bawl your eyes out. "Oh, Y/N," she sighed, hugging you close to her chest as she sank to the floor with you in her arms.

You cried for hours after that. Scarlet brought you everything, talked you through every minute as you grieved.

"You have to call him," Scarlet whispered.

You shook your head. "I can't. I think if I hear his voice, I'll throw up or.. pass out."

"You miss that voice," Scarlet reminded her.

"I can't sleep at night knowing he just wanted my body all along—"

"Y/N, it was the heat of the moment," Scarlet explained, trying to comfort you. "Tomorrow, you should stay after his class and talk to him. You don't have to tell him right away."

You slowly nodded. "I'll try not to throw up on him," you whispered, to which Scarlet couldn't help but giggle.

"There's my funny girl," she said, squeezing you tight. The two of you smiled, holding onto each other tightly.