BAU Groupchat :) Criminal Minds x Reader

Dead Ex Wife's Sister (14)

8 AM

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HotStuff69: fuck my head hurts 😫

bbygirl: lol you alright there?

HotStuff69: I shouldn't have drank so much 🥲

HotStuff69: but looking at last night's texts, it seems as tho Hotch wasn't happy with me getting drunk lmaoo

JayJay: yeah he was pissed lol

Hotchie: y/n come to the kitchen. I have ibuprofen and water 💦

HotStuff69: yes sir 😚

PrettyBoiThings: you don't have to call him sir through groupchat, y/n

HotStuff69: I don't have to call him that in bed either, but I do, so 🤷‍♀️

PrettyBoiThings: ...oh. gotcha. 😫

HotChocolate: Morning beautiful people ❤️

HotChocolate: and a good morning to you, pretty boy 🥰😚

ItalianSausage: can't you people talk over the phone like normal people?

JayJay: nah this is better

PrettyBoiThings: hey hotch if you're reading these texts, why were you so bothered by y/n being drunk?

HotChocolate: you're seriously going to ignore me Reid? 😢

Hotchie: ok look, Jessica found out about my relationship with y/n and she isn't happy with me

Hotchie: her sister died over a year ago, you would think she'd be fine with me dating again

JayJay: the fact that you referred your dead ex wife as her sister 💀💀

ItalianSausage: have you told Jack about you two yet?

Hotchie: yes and he doesn't seem to mind. He loves having y/n over

HotChocolate: Doesn't everyone agree Reid looks handsome today? 😊

bbygirl: wait are you two together rn?

PrettyBoiThings: NO WE'RE NOT 😒

PrettyBoiThings: morgan you haven't even seen me today

HotChocolate: doesn't mean I don't think you look good today 😍😉

JayJay: could you two be anymore obvious lmao

PrettyBoiThings: what? we're not a thing 🙃

PrettyBoiThings: he's the last person I'd ever be with

HotStuff69: so you'd be with Rossi before him? LOL

ItalianSausage: wait what

PrettyBoiThings: ...ok second to last person I'd be with

HotChocolate: ouch Reid 😭

PrettyBoiThings: truth hurts 😂

bbygirl: honestly Reid I think you secretly want Morgan but you just won't admit it 🥳

JayJay: I love how we went from talking about Hotch's sister in law problems to this 🤣

PrettyBoiThings: I might be gay but I'm not THAT gay

HotChocolate: tf is that supposed to mean? Lol

PrettyBoiThings: it means, you're not my type

HotStuff69: oop-

Hotchie: Jessica is literally texting me to come to her place so we could chat about my relationship with y/n

HotStuff69: you didn't tell her we work together right? That might send her off 😂

Hotchie: I did not but why do I have a feeling someone else did?

ItalianSausage: You do have a son that talks, Hotch

Hotchie: brb

HotChocolate: I'm so sick of the tension, Reid. I'm coming to your place rn 😙

PrettyBoiThings: at 8 in the morning on a Sunday?!

HotChocolate: Yup 😏

bbygirl: I can't believe I'm saying this but GET SOME REID, WOO! 🥳🥳🥳

ItalianSausage: I don't even know what to think about all of this

PrettyBoiThings: Yeah, me either

Hotchie: I can confirm my son did, in fact, talk to his aunt recently and told her about me and y/n

bbygirl: does she know you're her superior? lol

Hotchie: Yeah 😔

PrettyBoiThings: why does she care tho?

Hotchie: she just threatened to report me if I don't end things with y/n 🙃

bbygirl: WHAT

bbygirl: why the hell would she do that?

Hotchie: I'm guessing she still isn't over the fact that her sister and I got divorced and then her sister died. Idk. But I don't want to end things with y/n when everything's been going great.

ItalianSausage: what you and y/n do is not her business. Besides, tell her you two signed an HR form stating you two are in a relationship and see if she believes it

ItalianSausage: I can sneak into Erin's office and snatch one and get you and y/n to sign it so that you guys have proof. No need to break up.

JayJay: ^^ that's actually genius 😳

bbygirl: wow great thinking Rossi

ItalianSausage: I have my moments

Hotchie changed ItalianSausage to Rossi

Hotchie: since you have a brilliant mind, Dave, I changed your nickname on here back

Rossi: THANK YOU

Rossi: About damn time

JayJay: only problem is, y/n isn't going to like that you did that Hotch lmao

Hotchie: Probably not but I'll tell her Rossi's plan and maybe she'll understand why I did it lol

bbygirl: where even is y/n anyway? did she fall off the face of the earth? LMAO

Hotchie: No, she fell asleep on my couch lol

Hotchie: I'll wake her up

Rossi: Reid and Morgan are being pretty quiet too.

JayJay: probably fucking. And where is Emily?

bbygirl: probably fucking her girlfriend 🤪

Rossi: and that's my cue to leave. Goodbye. Hotch, let me know how it goes

Hotchie: Got it

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kind of a dumb chapter but I've still got writer's block. I might have an idea for next chapter but idk. It's 1 AM right now where I live so here's a new chapter since I haven't posted in 2 days. Next chapter will hopefully be out by tomorrow