BAU Groupchat :) Criminal Minds x Reader

What is Wrong With You? (20)

*This chapter will make you pissed off at Hotch, just a heads up lmao*

----3:45 PM at HQ

Hotchie: Losers. You're all losers.

bbygirl: what?

JayJay: Ok who pissed in your cereal, Hotch?

EmCatLover: Hacked maybe?

Hotchie: Not hacked. Just stating how I really feel about you all :)

Rossi: what about me, Hotch?

Hotchie: You're old. Erin will never love you.

bbygirl: wtf hotch has to be playing a prank on us

Rossi: I expected that response from y/n or Emily, maybe Derek, but you, Hotch? You told me the other day to go fuck her and I did

JayJay: omg Old Italy said a bad word 😳

EmCatLover: LMAO I FORGOT ABOUT OLD ITALY 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hotchie: This isn't a prank. You're literal losers.

HotStuff69: Hotch, what's wrong?

HotStuff69: Talk to me.

HotStuff69: Come out of your office and talk to me.

Rossi: He isn't in his office. I just spoke with Erin and she said he left for the day. I guess I'm in charge in case we get a case.

Rossi: This can't be Hotch. It can't be.

EmCatLover: Literally, Hotch, what the fuck are you on?

Hotchie: Fuck you all, especially you y/n. I only wanted you for sex.

HotStuff69: ...

HotChocolate: Garcia just filled me in. Hotch, don't talk to your girlfriend that way! Or the team! What the hell is wrong with you, man?

Hotchie: One, she isn't my girlfriend. Not anymore. Two, I can do what I want :)

bbygirl: sir, idc what you say. I'm just going to act like this is a prank. whoever is hacking Hotch's phone, GET A FUCKING LIFE AND GIVE THIS MAN BACK HIS PHONE!! 🤬🤬🤬

Hotchie: Four eyes, this isn't a prank. LOL 😂😂😂😂

HotChocolate: Oh no you fucking didn't!

Rossi: Hotch, do me a favor and kick yourself off this chat.

JayJay: I don't believe this is Hotch. No way.

bbygirl: Dammit, y/n is sobbing by the elevators. brb

HotChocolate: If this truly isn't Hotch, then go fuck yourself into traffic and die. Hacking people's phones isn't cute nor is it funny. It just makes you look weak and stupid. If this really is Hotch, then...I am so disappointed in you. You're better than this. You made your girlfriend cry, you're making Garcia cry, and the team is just saddened by your lack of manners. How would Jack feel about all this? You're the one who teaches him everything, how to be nice even when other kids are being mean to him, you're literally being someone you're not. You're a hypocrite.

HotChocolate: I truly believe this isn't Hotch, because the real Hotch loves and cares, not degrades and is an insensitive asshole.

HotChocolate: So, to whoever stole Hotch's phone, I hope your mom gets sick and dies. Disrespectfully 🙂🖕

EmCatLover: Damn and this is coming from the 'deez nuts' guy?

Hotchie left the chat

JayJay: you made them leave lmao nice morgan

HotChocolate: Nobody bullies the team except for me. NOBODY

bbygirl: ok I got y/n to calm down. She's just going to sit at her desk and work. She has the chat on mute bc she is really upset

PrettyBoiThings: whoa the fuck did I miss?

bbygirl: somebody hacked Hotch's phone, Reid

PrettyBoiThings: Did he say something about me?

HotChocolate: No, because otherwise I would've tracked his ass down and beat the living shit outta him

PrettyBoiThings: Wait y/n is crying-😢

bbygirl: let her work, Reid. It's all she wants to do rn

Rossi: Garcia, track Hotch's phone. See where he's at.

bbygirl: ok got it

bbygirl: it shows that he's at home.

Rossi: I'm going to call him real quick brb

JayJay: wait, why didn't any of us think about that?

HotChocolate: I just hope that he was hacked. I'm speechless

PrettyBoiThings: Like last night?

HotChocolate: that's different, babe. YOU made me speechless 😜😏😘

HotChocolate: but this is more serious

EmCatLover: get a room peter pan and wendy 🙄🙄

bbygirl: wait-what? lol

PrettyBoiThings: hold on-

HotChocolate: THEY'RE BOTH WHITE PRENTISS 😡

EmCatLover: bad comparison, sorry

PrettyBoiThings: wait am I Wendy?

bbygirl: probably

JayJay: probably

EmCatLover: yeah lol

---

I'm gonna stop it right here lmao