Doctor Annabelle

part 6

Valentine took a while to answer but i did not pressure her or say a word. I was not pushing her to tell me, she could have easily told me no but she did not stayed quiet so there was hope. Then she started.

"My dad cheated on my mom with the woman he is with now. I really loved my dad back then and when he told her that he cheated and he had no plan on fixing their marriage that was falling apart, she was hurt. The hurt turned into anger and then hatred. My dad's new wife did not want him with all his garbage, which was me so he gave full custody to my mom"

I was listening and I did not miss a word or every emotion that crossed her face

"I loved them both equally you know, so when he packed my bag to go live with mom I was happy to go. He promised he would come for me and mom. I promised that i would be waiting.

Staying with my mom after that was different, she was angry so she started to drink and smoke and do drugs to numb the pain. She would do anything to stop hurting

Even if it was for a little while. One day she was really high and i wanted to help her lie down. She looked at me and grimaced, do you know what she said?"

Valentina stood up with a red face looking at me. She wanted me to feel what she was feeling too, what she felt back then,

"Mom said, fuck you look like your father. I hate you so fucking much"

A tear dropped on her cheek as she let out a pained chuckle

"I said, mommy you don't mean that and she stood up and slapped me across the face. I screamed because it really hurt, she took my hand off my face and dragged me to her bedroom and tied my hands behind my back. I asked what she was doing and she told me to shut up.
She slapped me once, twice, again, again,  again, again, again, again....."

Valentina said the word over and over again waving her hands and sat on her legs looking at her hands

"It hurt, it still hurts and it wont stop hurting" she let out a loud sob that was so raw, the whole building probably heard it.

I felt my heart squeeze and stomach hurt watching her cry like that. She looked at me with red eyes and wiped her eyes

"That was the first time because mom was hurting and I was her punching bag every damn time. The person I loved and adored hurt me. She was supposed to protect me. I was only 8 years old! I needed a mother!

Slapping me and punching me and kicking me.

I called dad. His wife answered and told me he was busy. Everytime I called till the phone stopped going through.
I got used to hiding from mom and staying out of her eay because I looked like my dad. I hated myself for looking like him. I did not make friends because I thought mom was going to kill me and it would be cruel to get someone to be attached to me just to lose me"

I made sure to keep eye contact with Valentina the whole time so she can know that I was listening and she was still here with me not back to her past.

"So I stayed to myself. I pushed my bestfriend  Karen away and stayed to myself. The loneliness and sadness of both my parents not wanting me caught up to me. I was always sad and Karen did not give up on me. 3 weeks before I came to you, my mom beat me up so bad i almost died. Karen came to see me on the floor bloody and I thought that was it. Finally, It was my ending.
She called 911 and i was sent to the hospital. My mom was no where to be seen, the police was looking for her. So they called my grandma and she called my dad. He came to get me. That was the first time I saw him after 10 years"

She sighed looking at me with teary eyes pleading for comfort. I nodded at her and she stood up and walked fast settling into my arms and I held her there while she cried

How come she always breakdown when I'm wearing a white expensive shirt?

She clutched on me till she calmed down and did not even plan on letting go since her legs were wrapped around my waist. I walked to my desk and sat her there taking wipes and wiping her face. She lied her face in my neck and fell asleep.

I carried her all the way to her room bridal style and left her room so fast. No matter what I do they always get attached to me

I sat down and wrote everything about our session down before I continued with my day. Where was George all those years? I wondered. He had so much time coming to hang out with my grandmother instead of being there for his kid

It was not my place to ask but I knew what I had to do. I went home and had trouble falling asleep. I needed the sleep so i took a sleeping pill. The dreams came back again. Memories from my past

*********
2 YEARS AGO

"I can only thank you for making me attend that book club. I have friends now and i feel like that dark place I was in passed. Thank you for being there for me"

"Ashley come on. We both know you are fun. It was all you. I'm glad you are at a better place" she nodded standing up and going around my place

"I'm changing my psychiatrist" she sat on my desk our knees touching

I knew Ashley was not all the way out there but she was trying her best, the worst part was she was doing it for the wrong reasons

"Oh why? Did I not exceed your expectations?" I knew why she was doing it

"No..no. fuck no!.  You are the best psychiatrist i have ever met. Look at me...I was dying and you saved me."

"But why are you getting a new therapist?"

"I..uh...I.." she sat on my lip and grabbed my face kissing me with everything in her. I did not kiss her back. I simply waited for her to stop and she started crying with her lips pressed on mine

"Please just kiss me back once. I know you don't feel the same but please just this once" she begged with tears running down her face

"Don't cry Ashley. You are beautiful, amazing and so strong even though not always and that's what makes you perfect most of all, you deserve someone who loves you more than you love them"

"But i want you" she stayed in my lap hugging  my neck.

"Ashley..."

"I already knew you never felt the same way but you are so beautiful and gentle with me. You understand me and I can only imagine what it would be like to be loved by you.....shhhh. I know it's wishful thinking but can you...we...please"

she kissed my neck and i cared about about Ashley so much. I always got attached to them but not in a romantic way ..... I cared for her like family would,

"I can't give you that"

"Just one night with you please. I will leave the city and you will never see me again i promise" Ashley begged even more

"You are like a sister to me Ashley. I care about you so so much" I hugged her as she cried. She kissed me one more time standing up and walked to the door

"I am not even good enough for a one night fuck huh?. I'm so fucking pathetic" she slammed the door and i heard her cry for a few minutes still outside. I stayed in the same spot because i knew she was going to do something stupid but when it finally registered in my mind, I ran out the door trying to find her at the parking lot but nobody saw her come that way. Just as i stepped out

Ashley's body came hitting on the ground with a thud

And her red bulged out eyes were staring at me

* * * * * *

You should understand that Ashley was her patient. She was already suicidal and her self esteem was low not that all patients are like that.

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