╰─✦ ╮Lyney Oneshots

☆ [ A Rock For You! ]

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- Your fellow Fatui enemy throws a rock on your head for a performance and nearly drowns you.
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"Look out, everyone! My dear assistant will be performing a dangerous stunt this time around."

Your head lifted from the waters of Fontaine. As a foreigner, you had yet to see any of Lyney's true magic shows apart from the one that had escalated into an entire murder scene. However, as the sweltering sun shone over the nation, a large audience had gathered before Lyney. He treaded along the sandy grit of the nearby shore, his gloved hand beckoning something forth from the water. As expected, you swam backward, narrowing your eyes at him. Goodness, you couldn't hate that magician more. All he has ever done is make your life difficult, especially with his Fatui background. You hate him just as much as you despise Childe. Just thinking about them began to evaporate the water around you from how heated you grew.

"Ah, they're a tad shy today," said Lyney as he twirled to face his eager audience. "Please give them all of your support! Let us chant it together to bring them out!" He grinned evilly as he spun once more to face the water.
He stared directly into your soul, seemingly snickering at you as he did. "Traveler! Traveler! Reveal yourself!"

"Traveler! Traveler! Reveal yourself!"

The voices resonated their chants to bring you forth. Your eyes bulged from their sockets, adrenaline nearly halting your heart. Your gaze snapped towards Lyney, sharp and furious. The water rippled with each of your hesitant movements as you advanced. Nearing Lyney's location, you cocked your head slightly. What could he possibly want from you?
Suddenly, he lifted his foot. He stomped a single time upon your forehead, peering back at his audience. "Be careful! This creature can certainly be vicious when they're hungry."
The audience thundered their laughter. Livid, you lurched forth from the depths, wrapping your arms around Lyney's ankle. He yelped with surprise as he fell back, afterwards laughing hysterically. Before you knew it, his leg slid free from your grasp as though he'd applied some type of slippery ointment beforehand.

Even more enraged, you lurched out once more. Lyney stood and spread his legs, causing you to sloppily flop into the sand. You soon realized attacking him does absolutely nothing for your case apart from publicly embarrass you.
As you scrambled to stand, Lyney seemed to spawn a boulder in both of his hands. He forced it into your chest, nearly knocking you over in the process. He then placed his hand against your back. "Go on, back into the water with you."
You flared your nostrils and glared sharply at him, wishing to bash his face in. Now embarrassed and furious, you stormed back into the freshwater. "Now what, you backwards twink?!" Your voice seemed to howl in anger.
"Sheesh, no need for such hostility," said Lyney as he briefly gestured for you to pass him the boulder once more. "Good, now hand me the r—"

You dropped the rock onto his feet with a broad grin.

Lyney bit his lower lip, his face turning red as he restrained an ear-piercing shriek. He then hesitantly and shakily lifted the boulder. He held his arms out, dropping the boulder. Before you had time to react, the boulder crashed down upon your head, much to his audience's amusement. You sank and glubbed like a bug-eyed pufferfish.
A tad dizzy, you hurled the rock out from the water. Lyney swiftly twirled aside, catching the boulder in his hat. Before you knew it, the boulder had vanished. You hoisted yourself out of the water in utter shock. "What the..?"
Lyney then smirked, "Look out!" He playfully shouted.
Lifting your chin, there was that damn boulder, soaring down towards your face like a certain coyote-based cartoon.

You lurched from the water, sliding on your heels as you charged towards Lyney. Your palms collided with his. In a fit of anger, the two tussled like cats. You felt your teeth grit with rage. The sand began to fly like dust as you and Lyney quarreled, leaving Lynette to take over managing the show.

"And now, you'll see two homos struggling against one another. A rare sight."
"You want what he's havin—?!" You hollered with rage as your head snapped towards her.
She lifted her hands, "Easy, Skittle pack," she then flicked her cat ear. "I'm just guiding the audience."
Lyney lifted his hand from the wrestling match, "Ouch—! Lynette, help me!" He dramatically shouted.
You sat on his abdomen, ceasing your cushion-y attacks. "Really, fuck-face?" You bluntly said.
He lifted his head, shushing you angrily. "There are children here."

"Fuck—"

Lyney smacked his palm over your mouth, gritting his teeth. Lynette pointed to you, "See this vile creature? We're about to make them disappear." Said she, her tone deadpanned as ever.
You hurried to lurch off of Lyney, angrily flicking him off. Lynette then gave you a well-deserved kick in the ass, watching with satisfaction as you retreated into the water.

"See you toni—"
You squinted, "No." said your angered tone.
Lyney then stood and crossed his arms, "Goodness, fine." He huffed.
"Lord, I cannot stand you."