Let my fires protect you || Kaz Brekker X Reader

15. His Phoenix

"Why didn't you tell me how bad it was?" I had just woken up and I already had Inej at my ear. I love her with all my heart but she needs to tone down the saintly bullshit. "Because I didn't want to worry you. You had become popular in Ketterdam, your lucky Heleen didn't make you go." She's lucky she had me. The moment Inej and I became friends I advocated for Heleen to never let her go. Heleen agreed to this as long as I was on my best behaviour, I was. I went through that icy hell without complaint for Inej and would do it again. "Thank you. We need to get going." I get into gear quickly and leave with her. 

We entered the harbour and I  noticed Inej's face, sullen, longing was spread across it. "You're thinking of your family again?" That was always her, 'I wish I could see my family again' face, I hope she does find them or that at the least they're alive, still longing and searching for their missing daughter. If anyone deserves to have their heart's desire it was Inej and seeing her family is exactly that. "Yes, I had an arguement with Kaz, it's nothing. It just made me think of them."

"Oh, okay. Arguments are quite frequent with Kaz so don't let it get you down." She doesn't seem consoled, after a small silence, she says, "You don't argue with Kaz as much as I do. You get on really well most of the time." I suppose she was right  but she was better than both of us, I tried to be moral and I was but Inej was saint-like. "That's because Kaz and I are both bad people. Despite your job, you are the  brightest light in Ketterdam." This caused a smile and a small embrace that I savoured. "You aren't a bad person, neither of you are." Most of the world would beg to differ.

"I walked past the Menagerie today." 

"Has it gotten easier?" I refused to walk past it, I always went the long way to Nina's and closed my eyes if I knew it would be in my line of sight. "No, I still feel a tightness in my chest like if I even allow myself to relax of be off my guard they'll bring me back. It got worse when Heleen grabbed me." I felt the fire start burning. If Heleen did or said anything that upset her seriously, the Menagerie would burn and Heleen with it. "What did she say? You don't have to tell me, but -"

"That we'd both be wearing her silks again." 

"That's never going to happen, I can swear to you on that." She smiled and pulled me into her warm embrace, "I'm glad at least one of us is strong." Yes one of us is, and it wasn't me. After a moment I realised that we were late. I got Inej's attention and we went off into a jog, or more like a sprint. I wasn't looking forward to disappointing him, especially when we were about to get on a boat. 

After a few minutes of running we saw Kaz and the others and, as always, he didn't look particularly happy. I saw that all the others had foregone there normal attire for warmer clothes, even Kaz, who had gotten rid of his black coat for a fur one. I sped up my pace, not paying much attention to my surroundings, just my destination. 

When I got close enough, I slowed down slightly and my surroundings refocused slightly. It was enough for me to see someone who was clearly a Dreg get a knife in the abdomen, "Kaz!" it was like my voice had set off a thermal explosion, the boat blew up.

~

The blast got more of me than Inej, thank the saints. I was in a lot of pain, my outstretched hand was now charred, not as bad as my face but bad enough to leave me one handed for a week or two. If the blast was the only thing (which I suspect it won't be) then I should be okay for the heist, but I think this is just the beginning of a very dangerous ambush and I'm now with only one working hand. 

Inej was up first, I saw her nose bleeding and reached for her but it ended up with her taking my hand and us running to the shadows and up to the crates for a good view point. The view we got scared me, we were outnumbered and men are coming through both flanks. "We need to get to Berth 22, the actual Ferolind is there."