Let my fires protect you || Kaz Brekker X Reader

19. Conflict

I was annoyed that I had to be tailored, I hated looking like something I wasn't, Fjerdan. Nina had tailored me to have crystal blue eyes and hair the same colour as Matthias. Honestly, I looked like his fraternal twin. I had mocked her telling her not to fall in love with me after Jesper pointed it out, she was not happy with me. My face was still scarred though, nothing could undo that. I didn't mind, I just thought it might give me away, or I could spew hatred for my own kind and say an inferni hurt me. It wasn't a lie but that woman was justified, I hated that I had to kill her. 

The walk was full of plotting, strategy, learning protocols, etc, etc, etc. I had gotten it the first time it was explained and I was still far too exhausted to care yet. It's why I didn't bother listening to Nina teach Inej Fjerdan and I just paid attention to the landscape. It wasn't much just snowy tundra but when I'd lived in the cesspool that is Ketterdam for most of my life I couldn't help but be in awe of it. The gradient of the horizon that changed from the pale white of the snow to the icy blue of the sky was something that despite being plain enamoured me. I suppose if I was a force of nature, a being created by the divine, then it makes sense that I resonated with this. All of it was spectacular, compared to the actual city and the White Island. 

I had been walking mindlessly in front, avoiding everyone and also melting a path to make the trek easier, when I saw something that shaked me to my very core. There were three badly charred bodies on pyres. "This is what Fjerdans do to Grisha." Nina stated, a single tear dropped from my eye. "It's what criminals do, pyre's have been illegal since -" Nina tried to speak but I interrupted, "They could've at least made sure they turned into ashes. This is dishonourable and monstrous on so many levels." The rage I felt was different to normal, it wasn't explosive and extroverted. No, this was silent but so much more intense. The moan was what made me explode.

The flame crept up from my hands and curled around my entire body, then it turned blue and it was sent out in waves surrounding me, and heading towards my friends that were only a few feet away.

My reflexes were fast, It was just about to reach Kaz's body and I screamed. I pulled it in towards me and I sent it to the only place I knew it could go, to finish off the job one monster started. I sent the flames up to the sky and it lit the world up before I bowed and sent it towards the three Grisha who had had to suffer, truly suffer. Then I collapsed, breathless onto the floor.

There was a small silence at my display of power, "We need to get moving. Your pesky little emotional outburst has probably alerted the Fjerdan's." Kaz said, berating me, "Kaz, you don't have to be so heartle -" Nina started but I interrupted her, "No, he's right. Even if it is the deaths and torture of innocent Grisha, I can't have outbursts like that. We just have to hope we're far enough out, not to be noticed."

"We might be, even if we aren't you don't look like you." Matthias stated, "They will be more tight on security though. If there is the possibility of you being here they will comb the entire tundra till they find you." Okay, so I'm probably fucked. 

I didn't pay attention to the ensuing arguement with Nina and Matthias, the only thing I could think about was the flame and my desperation to save Kaz. That was the only thought in my mind, he could not die and I would not lose him. It scared me though, the apocalyptic power I held. I don't understand why I was given this, I was a barrel rat, nothing and no one. I didn't deserve such a thing, a thing that I felt could topple an empire if I wished. A power that could destroy the world and everyone in it. I think Inej was wrong with this legend though, because it wasn't just Kaz I couldn't live without, it was all of them. Inej, Nina, Jesper, Kaz, all of them important, even Wylan and Matthias were starting to grow on me.  

~

Nina and Matthias had started arguing again. Everyone had gotten themselves involved to stop the conflict but I agreed with Nina, both her and I need to know what we're up against. "Tell us. Tell us what's in store if we get caught." Kaz removed himself from the situation and went to mine, "You won't get caught."