Find the light to face someday / purinz

Love

Obviously things don't just change after that: Chaewon is still on hiatus and Yunjin still has a busy schedule which is why it's not all that easy for them to find time for each other and their relationship. Finding time to go on dates and get to know each other further in a romantic way turns out to be quite a difficult task, actually, but they both want the same thing which makes it bearable. They make it work though and their feelings for each other don't fade: if anything, they just get bigger, deeper and overall more serious as time passes by.

Chaewon is sure that the fact that they already were extremely close friends before dating plays a big factor in that and strengthens their bond. Their new relationship mixed with the want to come back from hiatus gives Chaewon a new inspiration to "get better" (whatever that is supposed to mean) as soon as possible to get back to her normal lifestyle with the addition of her relationship.

If she's being honest, Chaewon still doesn't feel like there's anything she needs to get better from. Sure, she's mentally ill, but it's not that bad: she's still able to live her life and all that. Regardless, she wants to at least convince her therapist that she's doing better in order to be able to go back to normal. If she can't actually get better mentally she should at least make the people around her believe that she did get better or else she'll be forced to stay on hiatus until she's in a better mental state which means she might not be able to come back at all.

Becoming Yunjjn's girlfriend doesn't just make her insecurities disappear either: she doesn't really feel good enough for the girl she loves and an ugly part of her thinks that she'll never feel good enough no matter how much time passes. The fact that she still hasn't admitted why she was avoiding Yunjin at the beginning of her hiatus is not lost on her either and it weighs down on her heavily.

Chaewon actually starts sharing a couple of her thoughts and feelings in her mandatory therapy sessions, even if she doesn't tell much and doesn't feel like it's stuff that the therapist should know about, and she can tell that her therapist is a little surprised by the sudden progress even if she tries not to let it show.

Part of Chaewon feels extremely uncomfortable with doing all this but she wants to get back to her old idol life which means that she has to make her therapist believe that she's doing better now. She's an idol, it shouldn't be that hard for her to hide her feelings and act like she's doing great even when she's not - after all, that's what she has been forced to do every time the camera was on her. No matter how exhausted she was or how sad she was feeling, as soon as the camera was on or fans were around she would put on the sweetest smile and hope it hid all the ugly feelings she had to push away. It worked, given the fact that she was still an idol - or at least she hoped she still could call herself that. Her company didn't give up on her forever, right?

After one of her therapy sessions one of the managers drives her to the dorm Kazuha and Yunjin (and Chaewon, even though she's currently not living there) live in. Kazuha texted her and after a bit of casual texting the girl informed her that all of the members are in the dorm right now which is why the leader made the decision to visit them there.

Excitement and happiness bubbles inside of her at the thought of seeing her favorite girls all at the same time again. She has met up with all of them individually in her three - nearly four - months of being on hiatus but it simply can't be compared to the feeling of hanging out with all of them together. Chaewon thanks her manager for the drive before making her way to the dorm, her heart beating uncontrollably fast in her ribcage. Kazuha is the one to open the door for her, embracing her as soon as Chaewon steps inside. It's familiar and comforting to the point where Chaewon has to fight back tears.

'I'll return things to how they were before' The leader thinks to herself as she greets each of her members. When it's Yunjin's turn to hug Chaewon the older girl wonders what they should do and how they should act now that their relationship status has changed - should they announce their relationship to the others or should they act like nothing has changed between them? Yunjin makes that decision for her as she follows with a quick peck on the lips as soon as they pull apart from the hug. Chaewon's eyes widen in surprise and a cute pink blush spreads on her cheeks as she looks at Yunjin with an obvious question on her face. Before she can actually voice that question out loud, though, her girlfriend already answers it for her. "They know" She doesn't specify what they know but it's not like she needs to either. It's more than obvious, really.