The New Zodiac Signs

Capricorn

Capricorn the Boss
Jan 19 - Feb 15

Ruled by Saturn, Serious as Cancer
Father Time, Saturn, is your taskmaster, and does not suffer fools gladly. Saturn teaches you the hard way, but makes you strong. If you enable a Capricorn to be the boss, you're probably making a prudent decision. They may be quite suited to the role as the wise old man, or the dictatorship of conventional wisdom. But is all dictatorship wrong? We are dictated to all our lives, mostly by less than benign forces. Capricorn, at least, has a goal in mind, larger than itself, attached to expectations of success and accessible through patience. We could do worse than to appoint a Cap as the Godfather.

We can experience Saturn as the Dictator or circumstances-those objective conditions that are never much in your favor, anyway, and especially under Saturn's rule. Saturn rules during bad times, dangerous times, uncertain times, when luck is breaking bad. Expecting and dishing out discipline, Capricorn is the captain of his soul. Female Capricorns, while no less ambitious and rational, are, if anything, more prone to harsh assessments of others, especially loved ones. Capricorns should be prepared for an occasional mutiny among those below you. Nobody likes the guy who's always right.

Capricorn Factoid: They accept reality as it is, and make it work.

Saturn is above all, CLARITY
and this is what Capricorns seek, afraid to move until you feel surrounded by a moat of tradition and experience. This is why, next to another Earth sign, Taurus, Capricorn registers so high on materialistic traits. Capricorns may not believe in much, but they wholeheartedly believe in money. Or whatever is the coin of the realm, Capricorns will find it and use it to get to the top. Money is a means to an end-Capricorn control. If popcorn could do it, they would strive to amass a fortune in popcorn. Unlike Taurus, who sees beauty in gold and silver, Capricorn uses money like a bulwark against surprises and a vehicle for advancement.

Capricorn Climbs to the Top
Capricorn begins life trapped at the bottom of the deepest sea by circumstance, illness, poverty, chained down by the conditions of the world. Cautiously and consistently Cap climbs out of the water and all the way up to the top of the highest peak-Fire Mountain, a triumph of persistence and planning.

To accomplish this, Capricorn works seriously and tirelessly and in turn makes others work just as hard, harvesting grudging respect as well as resentment from others.

Responsibility and power are thrust on Capricorns as others depend on them more and more. Capricorn can use and abuse, or this sign can be a liberator of the spirit and body. After all the work, sweat and blood, success is finally achieved in old age, and Capricorn for once can revel in accomplishment.
The Capricorn Comeback
At the beginning, nobody thinks a Capricorn will make it big. Capricorns more often than not are sickly as children, or will suffer some long, drawn out heath problems. Unexpectedly, the Capricorn grows stronger with age. As they grow older, they often learn to live with their health problems, not complaining. In this way, Capricorns can give up on the hope of a cure or remedy for their health problems. Like the worker drone that they are, Capricorns will suffer in silence, and use the negative energy to exhort more work out of others. Capricorns can shortchange themselves, burning up their organ cells for fuel, or they become too demanding of others, calling for sacrifice for the continuation of the prevailing status quo.

Hard Driving Capricorn Men and Women
The Capricorn birthday scorecard is loaded with heavy hitters. Capricorn men presaged great changes, both good and bad, from Abe Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, Jose Marti, Gamal Nasser to Ronald Reagan, Boris Yeltzin, Dick Cheney, Nicolas Sarkozy and Kaiser Wilhelm.

Capricorns have reached the top in every vocation, like Charles Darwin, Bob Marley, Clark Gable, Voltaire, Charles Dickens, Anton Chekhov, Edgar Allen Poe, Al Capone, Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson and Lewis Carroll. Most of these men had very humble beginnings, and fought their way to success the hard way.

The powerful Capricorn women include Rosa Parks, Angela Davis, Jessica Savitch, Germaine Greer, Ellen DeGeneres, Leontyne Price, Alice Walker, Kim Novak, Gertrude Stein and Oprah Winfrey.

This sign also produces total idiots like Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, Sarah Palin, Ayn Rand and Glen Beck, although, admittedly, they too have reached the pinnacles of their fields, after pressing against the limitations of their abilities.

Capricorn: Love and Hate FAQ

Bone Breakers, Ball Breakers
Capricorn rules the bones, our body "frame", and the health of the bones. Anyone who has a natally afflicted Saturn or has Capricorn prominently in their natal charts can be susceptible to teeth problems. Is there a correlation between Saturn and calcium-magnesium absorption? Since our bones require a fresh supply of these vital minerals daily, and our junk food and high sugar and fat diets make the Ph of our bodies very acidic, which causes a condition called Sanpaku-the slow destruction of our ability to produce and deliver clean blood to our organs. Only calcium-magnesium, when absorbed, can correct this affliction.

The Capricorn story is in the knees. As a baby we have to crawl before we can walk. With time, we get off your knees and walk except to show respect or fear. Eventually, the stiffness of old age slows you down to a crawl again. Capricorns often have growing pains and brittle bones. With today's typical shitty diet, more often than not, the only way to provide enough minerals to help bone growth and repair is to take supplements on a regular basis.
Inherent Strengths
Capricorns are hellified workers. They may not have big fantasies, but they know right from wrong and that success is a long term investment. Like the Cardinal Earth sign that they are, Capricorns cultivate a will of iron, inherent patience, and one very tough attitude about slackers and laziness. They are hardest on themselves, however. Whatever they do, it isn't enough, whatever love and appreciation they get for doing it, it's never enough. Capricorns don't chase their dreams, they march on them like the Russian army took Berlin in 1945-inexorably and completely. By being prepared for any eventuality, Capricorns protect themselves against the two things they hate: surprise and shame. This tough love works best on themselves-all anecdotal evidence suggests that Capricorns live the longest.

The mind-body experience
Capricorns think they can be alone and love it, but they cannot, no Cap is an island. All work and no play makes Capricorn dull and lonely. You need human contact, you need to live in the moment, you need TLC; unfortunately, your needs are probably not being met. If and when you hit the big time, and you are yet a hollow shell, you won't enjoy it if you don't allow humor and hubris into your life. If you can't trust the universe, you can trust yourself to know what's good for you. Separate yourself from The System long enough to recognize your artistic qualities and your ability to think outside the box. Don't EVER underestimate your creativity. If you don't find a way to be creative you'll mentally twist up into a subway pretzel. DIVERSIFY.

Capricorn Factoid: It's not that they love work, they hate lethargy

Medical tactics
Preventative medicine comes naturally to the Capricorn. You do all the right things, from flossing to feng shui, but can be quite gullible at times. You might have too much faith in established procedure and so-called experts. You might reject Eastern, vitamin and holistic health remedies just because they're new and unregulated. "Systems" can't make or break you, instead, think your own quality control for every bodily function.

Power Foods and Healing Systems
Let's just limit the range of discussion to minerals. Calcium is Capricorn's way of staying in the race to the end. Calcium will neutralize the harmful acids that cause your dry skin, aching bones and sore joints. Calcium can smooth out your rough edges and relax the mind; offer blissful rest and emotional disconnect when you need it. Calcium is nature's way of building stamina and hushing the nagging doubts in your head. There's only one problem with calcium, and that is you have to take at least one part magnesium for every 4 parts calcium to be able to absorb it. Magnesium is critical for metabolizing calcium, and completes the calming effect on both the mind and the body. Take as much of these two vital elements as you can gag down.
Other vitamins that will help you: vitamin E for energy, virility and clean blood; vitamin A is anti-bacterial, anti-infection, and helps your own body's immune system destroy intruders, but requires vitamin D for safe and complete absorption. Vitamin C for collagen, the magic mending substance that glues your skin to your bones. Your body requires vitamin C every day, so "swirl and swallow" at least 3,000 mg of C as ascorbic powder daily for immortality. Taking C causes an initial bowel evacuation of toxins, so make sure you are close to a toilet the first day.