Augustine

Chapter 32

The majority of the weekend was spent thinking about the shit show I've been slowly transforming into. Some girls break out of their shell during high school and morph into beautiful coming of age women.

Not me.

I'm a shit show.

It's hard knowing what other people think about you, it's even harder knowing what you think of yourself. There's only so many hits you can take before you decide the asphalt is more attainable than the greener grass.

The loose cardigan I chose to wear this morning makes me internally hiss as it rubs against my skin. The bruises Connor left me are still there along with the paper thin layer of skin I left after three long showers.

The entire weekend I avoided looking at my reflection and now, looking in my rear-view mirror, I don't know how to feel about myself. My work should guarantee me the cover of Vogue Magazine and, at this point, I've completed the course work and graduated with a Masters in the art of covering under eye circles.

The thought of switching schools passed through my head more times than I can count, but if I really do give off the 'I'm easy, so fuck me' energy, what's the point? The same scene will just keep repeating itself like the plot of some science fiction movie.

I keep my head down as I slam the car door with my hip, backpack on one shoulder and books in the opposite hand.

Cinderella's carriage has turned into a pumpkin and the prince has gone MIA. Not really though, that would require him existing in the first place.

All of these thoughts keep leading me through mazes that only turn into dead ends. I don't even know why I bothered coming to school.

My senses are entertained with the music playing from my air-pods, I don't realize the hand gripping my forearm until my back is pressed against the lockers. I feel instant pain as the back of my head slams against the cold metal. My vision blurs before focusing on the last pair of eyes I want to see.

Connor sneers down at me, a gauze covering his nose. The area under one of his eyes is a dark shade of purple and his bottom lip is cut right down the middle.

Aiden promised he wouldn't do anything, yet I can't help but think he is the one behind this black and blue canvas.

I can feel the panic seeping into my eyes as I realize he has me cornered and pushed out of sight.

"Let me go." I yank my arm away from him and try to hide the quiver in my voice. "What do you want?"

He laughs, displaying his full set of teeth, as if he isn't ready to bite my head off like a scene from IT. "I just want to spend time with you," he says, pulling on the front of my cardigan so I'm flush against him. "Or, how about we finish what we started."

I use the bit of strength my noodle arms allow and push him from his chest. "You need to stay away from me." I try to move around him but he doesn't give me any room. Any way I turn I'm met with either his chest or one of his shoulders.

He takes a step forward and bows his head so that it's pressed against the crook of my neck. The shivers are irrepressible as his breath connects to my skin. "Keep your dog on a leash or next time I won't stop."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He uses the lockers on either side of my face to push away from me. "Sure you don't and I'm sure Hunter didn't know what you were talking about either." He winks before turning around and joining the group of students trying to make it to their first class on time.

I use the wall for support as I try to catch my breath, but I might as well be trying to breathe underwater. All the oxygen in the world wouldn't be enough to pull me back from the dotted line I keep venturing on.