Augustine

Chapter 9

Going to the table had been a lot easier than walking away.

At least, when we were walking over there, I had Ian to hold me up, but walking away I had nothing but my own two feet.

I swear, if my legs give out on me, I might as well dig my own grave.

But the heels are definitely not helping my attempt to make a dramatic exit.

Don't trip. Don't trip.

I grab the food from the pickup counter and start my way to the exit.

I risk a glance in the direction of the table, only to see Aiden gone with Ian now occupying his vacant spot. Emily shakes her head at him, but you could see that Ian was enjoying this a little too much. With the frown on her face, she almost looks like she's lecturing him.

I push the door open and invite the light breeze to cool my face down.

I have half the mind to take off my heels and just go barefoot, but decide to push through. In a couple of minutes I will be home and I will be able to wash this whole day away.

No party, no rain, no Emily, and especially no Aiden.

"What the fuck was that?"

I almost drop the bags at the sound of his voice, but manage to regain my balance just in time.

Aiden is standing a couple feet away, his eyes making rounds across my face.

I had rehearsed our first conversation over and over inside my head, imagined the things I would say to him, but right now, standing in front of him, my mind was drawing a blank.

Part of me, the naïve side of me, hoped I would have the courage to tell him everything I never said, everything I should have said and finally unpack the final pieces of baggage that weighed me down. 

He would listen because that's what he did and everything would slowly go back to normal.

Not the normal that we had become before I left, but the normal that came when we first began our friendship, slowly peeling away the layers until we were completely exposed.

But those thoughts were just pretend, this was the reality.

I hurt him and I keep doing it. Maybe it's because doing so will ensure he stays a part of my life. 

After all, even the people you hate take part in your thoughts.

But, he hurt me too. He believed the things people said about me and never looked back. He didn't care and shoved me in the same box I shoved him. 

Out of reach and out of mind.

So, as much as he has the right to be angry at me, I can be angry with him.

My first instinct is to keep walking, always finding it easier to run away, but his eyes are what stop me from leaving this time.

Void of any emotion, besides the obvious anger.

"What?" I ask, for a lack of a better vocabulary, even though I heard him perfectly fine.

He takes a couple steps towards me, his fist clenching tighter the closer he gets. "What? You've known him two seconds, before shoving your tongue down his throat."

"So, you're the only one who can have an audience? You didn't have a problem broadcasting your relationship in front of my face," I retort.

"Is that what this was?" he says, still seething, but you could hear the slight relief in his tone. "A way to get even?"

"You don't get to question me," I say, getting upset over the way he was talking to me. "You haven't said a word to me since I came back and you think it's okay to basically call me a slut."

"What? Did you expect me to jump for joy when I saw you in the hallway? I'm not Aliyah. She can invite you in with open arms, but that's not me."

"Then why are you here? Why talk to me now?" I ask, placing the food on the hood of Ian's car.

"You need to stay away from her brother," he says, gritting his teeth. "It's not right for Emily to be put in the middle of this." He looks away, towards the diner, probably regretting leaving her inside.

"I don't give a fuck about Emily." I say, misdirecting some of my anger towards her. "That's your job, not mine."

Slight regret stains my throat as her name leaves my lips, but I can't help the obvious annoyance I feel towards her.

She has no fault in the battle we have ignorantly started, but I had a feeling she might just end up as one of the casualties.

"Stay away from him," he says, taking another step closer to me.

"Fuck you." I move to step around him, but he blocks my way with one step.

Both our chests rise and fall, almost in sync, and only one more step separating us from touching.

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you. Stay away from him."

Looking up at him, he's not the same guy I once knew, and I can't help but think I'm fully responsible for this change.

A year ago, he would have never tried to intimidate me.

He loved me.

He would kill anyone that talked to me the way he was talking to me right now.

It isn't until I hear someone clear their throat, that I get my bearings back and manage to take a step back.

I look towards the sound, only to find Ian and Emily, staring at us.

Well, Ian was staring, Emily was looking at everything but the spectacle in front of her.

"Is there a problem?" Ian asks, stepping between us. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I can't help but lean in to accept his support.

Aiden glares at his arm, before shooting his daggers straight at him. "No," he gives a tight-lipped smile, "just catching up."

Without giving me a second glance, he starts walking away towards his car, with Emily trailing close behind him.

Ian clenches my shoulder, as he stares at them, unaware of the bruise he was probably leaving behind. You didn't have to be a genius to figure out the animosity he felt towards their relationship, almost desperation to have him removed from her life.

"Come on, the food's gonna get cold," he says, grabbing the bags and walking around to the drivers side.

I followed the path to the passenger's side, but my appetite was almost non-existent now.

I know he hates me, that he had made crystal clear, but now I can see how any type of amends might be beyond repair.

Not that I want them... I don't.

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