Chapter 15: Can't Let Go

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Minji

I lied to Hanni last night. I lied to her and to myself and now I'll pay the price for it, because the truth is, I wasn't okay with just one night with her.

And I hate that I have to leave today. Taking a week off work was already a stretch, but going back to my normal life after this is going to be worse than that time I broke my foot in three places.

At least that came with painkillers.

Waking up with Hanni in my arms is one of the best feelings. It brings me back to all those nights I held Tris until she fell asleep.

Toward the end as Tris got sicker, she'd feel so cold and weak, my body heat was the only thing that'd help warm her up. I hated having to leave her at the end of the day, even knowing she'd be taken care of, but all the strength in the world couldn't fix how I felt the day she took her last breath.

And in these past ten months, I've shut every possible emotional avenue down, except anger. Anger fed the numbness, which fed the need to work 24/7 and push everyone out.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. The darkness took over, and I lost any form of light in my life. I knew Lucas understood my pain, but I wanted to be strong for him and be here during his wedding. I'd be a shitty friend if I put my sadness over his happiness. So I took the week off work and dragged my ass here.

And then I met Hanni, making it the best decision of my life to come here. For the first time in months, I feel something. She's breathed light back into my soul, and I don't know how I'm going to let her go.

I slip my arm out from under her and softly kiss the top of her head. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, so I don't think twice about getting up before eight in the morning to make her breakfast and prolonging my drive back home as long as I can.

As I'm scrambling the eggs, I hear footsteps upstairs and soon after, the sounds of the shower being turned on. I leave the eggs scrambled in the bowl and head back upstairs.

As soon as I enter the bathroom, I hear her humming and singing to herself. Her clothes are piled on the floor and soon mine are joined next to hers.

I pull the curtain back and before I can step inside, she shrieks, turns and squirts a bottle of body wash in my face.

"Oh, shit," I curse, taking a step back.

"Oh my God!" She grabs ahold of my arm and pulls me in. "You scared the shit out of me. Here, rinse your face off." She pushes me toward the stream of water and once the soap rinses off, I hear her giggling behind me.

"You think this is funny?"

"A little."

I turn around and see the wide, giddy smile on her face. "You did that on purpose."

"I did not!" she defends, laughing at my forced glare.

"That was you getting even with me, wasn't it?"

She laughs, her top lip curling up in a seductive grin. "Well if I was, you would've deserved it."

"Is that so?" I challenge, pressing her body against the wall of the shower. "Guess that means I get a rebuttal."

"I'd like to see you try," she challenges right back.

Before she can stop me, I grab her hands in both of mine and wrap my fingers around her wrist. I kneel down in between her legs and slide my tongue up her slit. She shakes her hips, trying to distract me, but it won't work.

I pin her hands to the wall on each side of her as I continue tasting her. She moans and curses at me to let her touch me, but I silence her whines as I twirl my tongue around her clit. Now she's nearly screaming, grinding her body against my mouth, and begging for more.

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