Long Way From Home

Chapter 11

I give a shark like smile, all teeth and blank eyes as the boys look both confused and amused at the same fucking time.

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David nods behind him and I scramble to get on his bike. I hold onto him with unnecessary force. It wouldn't hurt him, but the grip I had was tighter than it needed to be. I hid my face in his back, quietly screaming inside my mind. I probably just killed someone, judging by the screams that were not of laughter and fun. Yeah, I totally killed someone. I could totally play it off, like this is some other reality that doesn't even affect mine, or me, like no one's gunna know when I go back. I'll be fine. God, what if they find out it was me and then they come and take me away and then I'm spending the day in jail while they come to the cave and then Marko dies?

When we stop I get off, still holding the knife and the bear, my mind running a mile in seconds. I pace, waiting for the others to get themselves together. Music, I should listen to music. I walk to my car, parked just a few ways away. I get inside, my body stiff and awkward. I sit inside, closing the door and turning on my radio. I sit, just letting the music drown out my thoughts. It wasn't working, no really, because I just kept picturing it and then all the fucking concequences for my actions.

"I'm a good person," I tell myself evenly, fumbling around my car for something to do, to mess with. I don't drop the knife. I don't know why, I just can't. I don't want to. It's mine. I ignore the boys when the others open the car doors and slide in. David is in the passenger seat, the others are in the back. David reaches over and turns down the music. I don't even recognize the song my mind is so sporadic. "I'm a good person." I repeat. David's eyes are so blue and intrusive. His gaze is hard to hold, but even harder to break. I watch as he slowly reaches over and takes the knife from my hand.

"Elsie," I hum, fiddling with the bear in my lap, dried blood flaking off my hand. "It's okay."

"I know," I retort, keeping my head down. "People die all the time. I told him not to touch me, it's his fault." I held up my finger, waving it in the air. "He's lucky I didn't face fuck him with it!" I crack a smile at how Paul starts giggling, hiding behind his hand as he tries to keep serious. I can feel the tension in the car dissipate; the boys all collectively releasing small breaths they had been holding. "I'm fine." I tell David, glancing up at him. He was still watching me but a small smirk gleamed in the moonlight back at me.

"You're still in fight mode Elsie."

"Ye-well duh!" I hiss, sitting up straighter. "What happens if they find out it's me and then I'm taken away to jail, and while I'm in jail, something fucking happens to you? If I'm in jail I'll be unable to stay awake during the day and keep you safe!" I stop when David takes hold of my chin, like he did that first night. I fall silent in an instant, watching his every move as he takes a drag of the cigarette, I never saw him light.

"Relax, El." David's voice is low and soothing, "Everything's going to be alright. Trust me."

"But David," I start but he cuts me off.

"Trust me, El."

"Okay..."

David nods, "Good." He slowly lets my chin go but doesn't shy away from brushing some hair behind my ear. "Now, Michael asked me about the head vampire shit, well, he didn't really. He more voiced Sam's nonsensical rambling. We all played our part."

"We're still gunna go into the part of the cave that we built the fort in, close off that entrance." Paul nods, and I take a deep breath, trying to slow my heart.