Forbidden Pleasure

Chapter 18

"Her skin smells of vintage books and pale moonlight, exotic things, forbidden loves and rainy nights."
― Melody Lee

∞

Chapter 18

I keep murmuring curses while glaring at myself in front of the mirror. Tama nga ang sinabi ni Kaius; he'll leave a red mark. It was so red that it would take 3 weeks for it to vanish.

Paano na 'to? Basa pa rin ang mga turtle neck clothes ko. Should I use a shawl? Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at bumalik sa aking closet. Hinablot ko ang shawl at itinali sa aking leeg. Laking pasalamat ko nang bumagay naman ito sa long-sleeved floral dress na suot ko. I tied my hair into a ponytail and wore a white doll shoe.

Muli akong tumitig sa salamin, at nang makuntento sa 'king itsura ay pinulot ko ang puting sling bag at naglakad palabas ng condo. I locked the door before walking gracefully towards the elevator. Nang bumukas ang pinto ay agad akong pumasok. Humikab pa ako habang nagpipindot sa floor na lalabasan ko.

My phone suddenly vibrated inside my bag. Nagtataka kong kinuha ito sa 'king bag at tinignan kung sino ang nag-text. An unknown number flashed on my screen, followed by a message. The familiar mumber. Binasa ko agad ang mensahe.

I never did save his number. I just don't feel like it. Ngumiwi ako. I leaned against the wall as I read his message.

From Unknown:

I'm going to Cebu. Just an emergency. Call me back after reading this message.

Doon ko lang rin napansin na meron pala akong sampung missed call mula sa kanya. Instead of making it as a big deal, I turned off my phone and put it back on my bag. Sakto ring pagbukas ng pinto at bumungad sa'kin ang parking lot. Humikab akong muli at naglakad palabas ng elevator patungo sa sasakyan ni Kaius. Yes, the car that my sister gave me to use temporarily is his.

Pumasok agad ako sa loob ng sasakyan at nilagay sa shot gun seat ang aking bag. I fastened my seatbelt and turned on the radio as I also turned on the car's engine. Hinintay ko munang uminit ang makina habang nakikinig sa kantang pinapatugtog ng radyo. Isang kantang hindi ko alam ang pamagat. It just played, and it hit me big time.

'But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you'

Nangunot ang noo ko. Sinadya ba 'to o nagkataon lang?

"Whoever the fuck is the song writer, may God bless them..." I murmured and maneuvered the car out of the place.

I didn't just mind the song and keep my eyes on the road. Sumasagi sa isipan ko ang mga posibleng mangyari kapag nabulgar ang katotohanan.

Will she loath me?

She will. At hindi ko siya masisisi. We have a child, may nangyari ulit sa amin ni Kaius, and those reasons are enough to hate me. Disown me as her sister, loath me, curse me, and even swear to the depths of hell. I can't blame her. I won't blame her.

Kahit sino ay maiinis at magagalit sa 'kin. A mistress? Just the word itself, kukulo na kagaad dugo ng isang tao.

My mind is full of unsaid things, and they will remain unspoken. No one has the right to hear those unsaid and unspoken thoughts that were creeping inside my head.

Nang makarating ako sa kompanya ni Kiyo ay agad kong pinarke ang sasakyan at lumabas bitbit ang aking bag. Siniguro ko munang hindi nakikita ang hickey na gawa ni Kaius bago ako lumabas. The guard greeted me. Tuloy-tuloy ang lakad ko patungong elevator at pinindot ang up button.