Takot
"What happened, Leigh?"
Matino na ang utak mula sa pahingang dulot ng kalasingan, dire-diretso ang bangon ko para umiwas kay Reann at sa nakakahiyang puwesto namin kanina sa kama.
Sa paglabas ko ay nakita kong tuluyan nang gumabi. Naabutan ko ang mga kaibigan na nag-iinuman sa kubo, ilan sa kanila ay mukhang lango na. When Jamal caught sight of me, he immediately asked me this question.
Nakababa ang paningin sa sahig na umiling ako sa kaniya.
"Sab told me you got drunk earlier…" He stood to reach out to me, and then he placed me in a free space beside him. As I finally sat down, I saw Ciel who's on his right side, watching with eyes full of concern.
Agad tuloy akong napakurap matapos magtama ng aming mga mata.
Galing nga ako sa pagtakas sa isang nakakahiyang sitwasyon, ngunit ito at kaharap ko naman ang puno't dulo. I should have thought more about coming out of that room…
Still! Ayaw kong maabutan ako ng isang gising na Reann. Dapat siguro pumunta muna ako ng banyo o kung saan mang hindi nila ako makikita. Ang kaso ay huli ko na itong napagtanto.
Kung hindi ko lang sila kaharap ngayon ay baka kanina pa ako bumuntong-hininga.
"You should've told us that you wanted to drink, we're sure to accompany you."
I appreciate the thought, but I needed that alone time so bad. Mali nga lang na sinabayan ko ng alak gayong hindi ko kaya ang tama. Gusto kong sampalin ang sarili dahil sa katangahang nagawa.
"I just decided to have a taste…"
"Taste?" halakhak ni Sab. "Nilaklak mo kaya 'yong isang bote! Ang laki at bangis pa naman ng sipa noon. No wonder you got KOed easily. Good thing, there's Reann to help your drunkass."
Numipis ang labi ko pagkatapos marinig ang sinabi niya. So… That's how we ended up in that position? Hindi ito ang unang beses na bumagsak ako sa kalasingan. In the past, when I sobered, they always laughed at how handful I am when inebriated. Iniisip ko pa lang ang mga bagay na ginawa ko noong walang malay sa harap niya ay nangangapal ang mukha ko. Sobrang nakakahiya!
Idagdag pa ang eksena na nangyari sa pagitan namin bago ako uminom. Natuyo ang lalamunan ko sa alaala. How I wish I could erase it from her recollection. Being helpless in front of her means more opportunity for her to be cruel to me. But… She did take care of me, as they've said. No?
Jamal petted my head. "Next time, just tell us," his voice is laced with worry. "Drinking alone is no fun."
"Tama!" And then they cheered.
I just gave them a small smile.
See… It will really take me a long time to forget this man. He's just too good. I used to wonder how on earth I ended up being friends with such a nice guy like him. Bihira lang ang kagaya niya. Sobrang tagal na naming magkakilala pero wala halos pinagbago ang ugali niya. He's still that same boy I fell in love with back in my innocence. I wanna move on from these obstructing feelings I feel for him, but it's too hard when he's like this to me. Wala man lang akong makitang masama sa kaniya. Maybe it's also because I'm influenced by my rose-tinted glasses for him… But other people also view him as such. So I can't really totally blame myself for feeling this way for him. Jamal is easy to like and… love.
"A-Ano, Leigh, G ka ba ulit?" alok sa akin ni Dangelo. He's kind of slurring now.
"Hindi na," tawa ko. I don't want another humiliation. Patong-patong na nga, eh.
