Tiptoeing towards love

5

Kanimozhi

It's been precisely 5 hours since I've locked myself in the room. And as expected, I heed mama knocking on the door. "Mozhi, come and have the lunch," his tone sounds weary.

"No! Not until you agree to marry or give me a fine reason for your refusal," Mama goes quiet and I could almost picture him scampering his hand through his hair in frustration.

"I'm a man who has found my solace in being alone Mozhi. Letting someone in my life...and giving them such a significant role doesn't sit well with me. I don't find love and marriage captivating enough. It's just not my thing, try to understand ma... I'm telling you the truth," What? There are people who don't find love interesting? How so? Is it really possible!? I've never heard someone confess that they don't find love and marriage fascinating.

"But at least for me...try to find a girl of your liking. Otherwise, I will also not marry!" I hear a slapping sound and I assume he smacked his own forehead.

"I cannot Mozhi...God! How will I make you understand!?" He wonders to himself and speaks again.

"Actually..." He pauses for a few seconds and proceeds again. "I do have a fair reason to not marry. Strengthen yourself before I say it out and what I'm about to tell is nothing less than the truth," Squinting my eyes doubtfully, I lean against the closed door, curiously.

"Akka (elder sister) called me before she sustained the heart attack and put forth her one last wish...which is to take care of you by marrying you and making you my wife as she doesn't trust no man with you other than me. I felt shaken by her words and am still guilty that I cannot execute her wish. But you see, I cannot bring myself to look at you in such a way that she had asked me to. You are my niece and I love you as the same. Also, marrying someone else while I've already failed to fulfill my sister's wish seems as though I'm disrespecting her...and I don't intend on doing that. Thus, it's better If I remain single for the rest of my life,"

My mouth parts open in shock and it just wouldn't close no matter how much I try. I'm at a loss for words. My brain is currently blank and I cannot think straight and sanely at all.

I listen to my mama's footsteps fading away and I somehow shut my eyes and facepalm myself, the news he said providing me with extreme embarrassment.

The niece marrying her maternal uncle is not new to me. I've seen such marriages and have attended the same but never have I gazed at my mama from that angle!

Maybe a few times...

But it was only a quick thought and not anything deep.

"Ishwara!" (Lord Shiva)

I close my eyes tight, feeling my body heat up with awkwardness. How will I meet his eyes normally again!?

Why must my mother ask him to do such a thing as to marry me!?

But then again...this is the only opportunity to get him married. He respects and loves my mother and If he really does so, he should marry me as her last wish.

Otherwise, he will stay alone for the rest of his life, chanting that he isn't enticed by love and marriage and he cannot look at me as more than his niece!

Well even If he can't, he should marry me or else he will stay as a saint which I cannot let become a reality.

He is my mama.

My murai maaman, someone who has the prime right to marry me. We might feel weird initially but we will definitely get there...as a normal couple.

Making up my mind, I unlock the door and search for my mama. He is on the couch with his hands buried inside his dense and dark bristle. "Mama..." He drags his eyes to me and awaits my words.

"I've come to a decision," his eyebrows raised quizzically. "We shall marry," he lets out a heavy sigh and rubs both of his temples.

"Are you crazy?? I cannot do that Mozhi," he retorts in a dangerously calm tone.

"Why can't you? Is it because you don't love your sister enough to obey her last wish..?" He throws me a frosty glance. "Mozhi, don't!" I still continue anyway.

"You will not marry anyone unless it's me for the sake of my mother's last wish. And I'm not a fool to let go of that opportunity!" I say out loud confidently and was met with nothing but silence.

"I cannot fulfill her wish and that is why I've decided to stay single Mozhi! How many damn times should I repeat myself? Are you an idiot!?" My lips pull downward involuntarily at his brutal reply and my throat clogs in fear.

"Mama..." I whimper as tears pour out of my eyes. Mama realizes his fault and tries to come near me but I run to my room again and yell from within the closed room.

"You should marry me! If not, I will not come outside and neither will I eat anything. I will just die and rot here itself," The response of my mama comes quickly.

"You are fucking immature Mozhi! Have you gone insane!?" He bangs on the door and I slide down the wall nearby the door and bring my knees towards my chest, wailing quietly.

I may be immature. But I just want him to marry and be happy. No matter how much he tries to reason with me and says that he's fine being alone, I can see through him and understand that he's not genuinely content with his life.

And he himself doesn't recognize it. He thinks he has achieved everything and this is the life that he's meant to live but there's more to it...

I want to see him being truly cheerful from within. I might sound absurd but one day he will know why I'm being so adamant about his marriage.

When he feels true glee filling his heart and I see it in his smile...it will dawn on him why I've been so unwavering about marrying him.

I'm positive that I can keep him joyous.

_____________________