...hi
"Fuck this."
I groaned as I slumped back in the chair and I looked at the stupid lump of clay through narrowed eyes. Why did I think this was a good idea?!
I even picked up more stuff for this stupid present after work and now it was twenty five past ten, I was tired and my stupid heart shaped ash tray didn't even look like a fucking heart!
One side had caved in and I wasn't sure the dents were deep enough for a cigarette to even sit in and I couldn't find any in this fucking house to try it out.
Oh! Maybe a pencil might be a similar size and diameter.
Is that the right word?
I don't even know and my headphones are hurting my head and I screamed, the muffled sound only coming through my headphones slightly and I yanked them off my head by the band, the sound of my podcast cutting out immediately and I dropped them to the table.
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes as I hunched over the table and my stupid birthday present idea.
I even bought a bag of tiny fucking alphabet stamps so I could stamp Harry's initials into the middle of the tray and a bottle of fucking resin to coat it once it was baked in the oven, so the ash was easy to remove!
I pushed the chair away from the table and ran a hand through my hair as I made my way into the kitchen and I flicked the kettle onto boil and wandered over to pull the fridge open and I stared into the bright abyss as I tried to find something to eat.
I pushed some stuff around the fridge and I crinkled my nose as I saw some Babybel's but no cheese strings, and I figured I must have eaten all of them already.
Of course I had, because I was a fat ass.
I closed the fridge and instead opened the freezer and I grabbed a box of potato waffles out and a bag of potato smiles out and I closed it with my hip, the oven was already on!
If I couldn't eat something sweet, then I was going to eat potatoes.
I ripped the box open and tipped out two potato waffles onto a baking tray before I realised i'd forgotten the baking paper and if I didn't use then I'd have to wash the tray, and I just wasn't in the mood for that.
Plus Harry was back tomorrow night which meant I'd need to tidy up anyway.
I rolled the opened side of the bag of potato smiles down and clipped it closed, and I shook the tray a little bit to even out the spaces between the insane amount of potatoes I was about to cook and I turned my face away from the oven as I opened it.
I set a timer on the oven and I made myself a cup of blackcurrant tea before I wandered back into the dining room and I saw the stupid lump of clay.
Without even thinking I put my mug down, not even mine I'd gotten out and instead it was Harry's, and I smashed my fist down into the stupid clay.
It wasn't working anyway so I might as well just fucking try again.
"Calm down you fucking egg," I told myself before rubbing my eye and I sat down and glared at the lump of blue clay, maybe I should have YouTubed it.
It didn't matter, I was hungry and I was going to have some carbohydratey goodness in like fifteen minutes so I'd eat and then I'd try again. I still had no idea what else to get him, and I had to get him something else.
A poorly constructed ash tray was not going to cut it for Harry.
I rested my chin on my hand as I opened my laptop and I just immediately went to the Harrods website. Harry loved that store, surely I could find something he'd like that he didn't already have.
