Museum Studies

Masterpiece

The hybrid sped down Grand Central Parkway, accompanied by SUVs, trucks, police cars and New York's iconic yellow taxis. Kakyoin drove, looking as relaxed and at ease as a driver in a swanky car commercial, whereas Jotaro and Roberta sat in the back.

"I think it's fair that I warn you about my grandfather." Jotaro said after a while of silence, only interrupted by Sting playing through the car's music system.

"I'm listening." Roberta replied, turning to face Jotaro. He sighed, and continued.

"My grandfather is the grandson of Jonathan Joestar- the founder of this museum. He was considered a maverick by Victorian standards, mainly because he asked before taking an artefact back to New York. In fact, most of what's in the museum was gifted to him, so you don't need to worry about that repatriation stuff Noriaki's always on about. Anyway, when gramps inherited the museum, his "friend" Caesar became curator as he was more interested in real estate than curating. That was back in the fifties, though. Nowadays, JiJi is still alive, but he's lost his mind."

"Dementia?" Roberta said in a small voice.

"Not really- he knows who I am, and who my mom is, and who he is. It's more that he's getting these delusions about some of the artefacts."

Jotaro rolled down the cigarette, lit a cigarette, and kept telling his story.

"Gramps is gonna be there when we arrive, and he'll probably try to tell you that the Sandstone Warrior comes to life. I'll explain how he obtained the statue when we get there, but I think it's fair that you know that gramps is telling you thi stuff because he thinks he's trying to protect you. He also says all this stuff about some of the arrowheads, but aside from that, he ignores all the other artefacts." Jotaro took another puff on his cigarette, and tapped the ash out of the window. The car war currently crossing the Robert F Kennedy bridge, and although she was feeling that "Just-stepped-into-a-movie" vibe that anyone who goes to New York feels upon arrival, she still took in the information.

"I'm sorry about your grandfather." She said with a sympathetic look.

"It's not your fault that he's going mad. Just... Don't get freaked out." Jotaro said. And he pulled down his cap and said no more.

After dropping off her cases in her apartment (which had a wonderful view of Central Park), Roberta changed into a collared white shirt, a pair of formal trousers, some sensible black ankle boots and a pink waistcoat, in order to look more professional. The clothes covered her myriad of tattoos, all of which were based off archaeological finds. Her latest one was still covered with a bandage, but she couldn't wait to show it to Mark! She swapped her nose ring and earrings for some discreet silver studs, because although the Joestar museum was a formal, respected institution, they allowed some self-expression from curators. This was mainly out of fear of being seen as another stuffy old room filled with artefacts stolen from native peoples by old white men, so Roberta's facial piercings helped give them a more modern, up-to-date reputation. She quickly got back into the car after locking up her flat, and they drove the rest of the way to the Joestar museum, which was just half a mile away.

"Welcome to the club!" Kakyoin said. He led Roberta through the foyer, where "All things Bright and Beautiful" was engraved over the doorway. The curator looked up, grinning at the sight of the bizarre museum that she adored. Cases were stuffed with statues, instruments and weapons, as exhibit of totem poles and chariots dotted the floorspace. Kula boats and dugout canoes hung from the ceiling as Inuit sleds and tribal masks hung from the walls. There were no human remains- that was a strict policy- but everything paled in comparison to the huge sandstone statue that dominated the room. It depicted an 8ft tall warrior, swollen with muscle and glaring dead ahead. He was posted as if he was shielding his face from something, and the craft work on his sculpt was incredible. Although he was at least 2000 years old (any carbon testing had been unsuccessful for reasons that were currently unknown to Roberta) he was in one piece, and looked so life-like, as if he could jump off his pedestal and walk away at any minute. A ring glimmered in his lip, and minimal clothing covered his ripped form. Most mesoamerican statues from the time he was made were heavily stylised, such as the giant Olmec heads- making this statue an absolute mystery.

"So, I see you've met old sandy-pants, missy!"

Roberta turned her head, to see an old man wheeling himself towards her in a mechanical wheelchair. He looked like a wrinkled old paper bag, with glasses as thick as slices of bread covering his milky eyes, and hair and a beard as white and brittle as fresh snow.

"You know, he comes to life. It's why we've gotta use the UV light! Or he'll awaken and ride his chariots of doom!" The old man said, poking Roberta in the arm.

"Roberta, this is Joseph, he's Jotaro's grandfather." Kakyoin said, gesturing to the old man.

"I was tellin' this lady about the REAL history of this statue, Noriaki! Anyway, do you wanna hear a story?" The centenarian gabbled.

"Of course, sir." Roberta replied, as it always paid to suck up to a big cheese like Joseph.

"Y'see, it was 1939. Them damn Nazis wanted to awaken four Aztec gods and use them to take over the world! But these gods were VAMPIRE gods! And two of them were GAY Vampire gods! So when those damned bastards went to Mexico to awaken them, the gods awakened from their statue form and devoured the soldiers! Then the two gay ones had some really gay sex on their corpses."

"Jiji, she doesn't need to..."

"And it was HARDCORE gay sex! Anyways, me and Caesarino had been scouting out the area, because our sunlight martial arts sensei told us to. We used our powers to freeze them into statue form, but the two gay ones escaped! However, their two sons were frozen into stone by UV light! So we put one here in the museum, under constant UV lighting and security camera observation , and we put the other one in storage. But the two father ones are still out there, underneath Mexico! They must be frozen by our residual sunlight stuff, because they were turning to stone as they ran away, but I sure hope they don't awaken!"

Joseph finished telling his story, and there was a long silence. Roberta started to clap, but then stopped, realising that it was probably inappropriate.

"That's what gramps believes. In reality, the Mexican government gifted them to the Joestar museum out of fear that they'd be sent back to Berlin by a Nazi ambassador in 1938. The UV light acts as a preservation method. That's what gramps told me before he lost his mind, at least." Jotaro said.

"We don't publish the story because gramps always insists on telling his version and it's too ridiculous. Anyway, that's the big secret behind the sandstone warrior. C'mon, I'll show you to the archives." Kakyoin said. Roberta went to follow him, but Joseph grabbed her sleeve.

"You ok, mate?" She asked.

"One more thing... Don't go pricking yourself on that arrow! It makes your soul come out!" Joseph said, pointing at an unassuming golden arrow in a case.

"Um, thanks, sir!" She replied, confused as ever as she headed off into the archives, led by an eager Kakyoin.