Wild One | Bbangsaz

Chapter 7

Hanni's

The next evening, I left work a little early to prepare. I showered, shaved all the vital regions, blow-dried my hair, and am now pacing around my bedroom wrapped in a towel, trying to figure out what to wear. Balance is crucial. I want to look nice but not overdressed, and definitely not too sexy.

I consider my fanciest underthings—a lacy black lingerie set—then pass them over in favor of plain white cotton. Sensible underwear for a sensible night of making a baby.

Just because Minji is going to see me naked tonight doesn't mean I have to put on a whole song and dance for her. No big deal. She's only the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and this will be the first time I've gotten laid in almost a year, and ...

Oh my God, stop it, woman. Please, just stop thinking and cover your tits.

As I pull on my panties, I'm careful not to brush the small, but sore red welt near my navel. I injected my first hCG trigger shot last night. While it wasn't a barrel of laughs, it also wasn't nearly as bad as my mind had built it up to be. As with most scary things in life, I found that the best approach was to just gather my courage and take the leap fast, before I could psych myself out of it. Now if only I could stop overthinking this date too.

No, no, this is not a date. What's happening tonight is absolutely nothing like a date. It's just ... informal sperm donation.

Oh my God, I'm really doing this, aren't I? Negotiating a stud deal for myself like a horse breeder or something? I stare into my closet like it contains the controls to a jumbo jet instead of the same old wardrobe I should find easy to choose from.

Okay, stop freaking out. Think of it like a business meeting. Just because it's for knocking me up doesn't make the rules of engagement any different. Insert penis A into slot B. We stay professional, because anything more will just confuse my heart and blur the lines, and I can't let that happen.

Sure, Minji is attractive and funny and kind, and that's a big part of why I chose her ... but not in a relationship kind of way. This isn't a romantic audition. It's just because her traits are good enough that I'd want them passed on to my child, that's all. Besides, it's no shame to pick a high-quality partner who also happens to be so good looking it hurts. I might as well have fun while I'm working on getting fertilized.

Yep, totally cool and rational, no complicated feelings allowed. And if she does or says one single thing that makes me uncomfortable, I'm not above telling her to get out of my bedroom and go jack off in that cup. I have a whole binder full of men I could pick from at the sperm bank.

While I'm thinking about it, I grab the plastic specimen jar and toss it in my purse, just in case. In the process, I catch a glimpse at the clock and almost panic because, holy shit, it's already 5:15. How was I dithering around in my underwear for half an hour?

No more nonsense. I need laser focus. I need to just fucking pick an outfit already.

I go back to the closet. A mulberry peasant blouse, fawn-colored suede ankle boots, and my most flattering pair of dark jeans—sure, that's fine. I dress as fast as I can while still avoiding the sore spot on my stomach. For a moment, I fret over the question of jewelry, makeup, and perfume, then say out loud, "Oh, for God's sake, what I wore to work is fine," and restrain myself to the minimum. Then I'm out the door and on my way to Los Platitos.

Like she did at our last dinner meeting, Minji is waiting for me outside, looking nothing short of dashing. She flashes me a brilliant smile. "Hey there, beautiful. You hungry?"

The innocent question seems a lot dirtier coming from her full lips. And it's disarming how she always seems so pleased to see me.

"Starving," I say truthfully.