LACUNA | YOONMIN

11

17 November 2015 Nevermind Anniversary 🦋
17 November 2023 Stuck with you Jimin ❣️🦋

!!! DOT TATTOO THEORY ALERT !!!

                   ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

* Not every battlefield is covered in blood. Mine was covered with thoughts. There are not visible bleeding wounds in every battle. I was bleeding from the cracks of my soul. *

                                                               -TMY

2018 December, from Yoongi's narration

I blurted out a few curse words, ignoring the people staring at me. Jimin was gone in front of my eyes with tears in his eyes. He misunderstood me. He completely misunderstood me because I couldn't say to him, "I'm in love with you, I adore you."

For days, I thought about how I should start my conversation with him. I rummaged through every recess in my brain to choose thoughtful words that would make him understand everything without judgment.

He misunderstood me because I told him from the beginning what I should have told him last. Actually, I wanted to start by telling him how the battles inside me started, I wanted him to understand how the thoughts in my mind affect my emotions and behaviours and how I got trapped. But having him in front of me and constantly looking into my eyes was a miracle that made me reset my mind and body. His eyes were very beautiful.

When he was in front of me, my most primitive emotions were taking my mind hostage, and my body was reacting against it. I couldn't resist him. When I was with him, I didn't want to hide anything from him, and I always wanted to tell everything as it was. My efforts to get some control over this situation were unsuccessful. I wish Jimin knew how I felt when he stood in front of me. I felt like jelly. I would do whatever he told me. "Come Yoongi." I would go. "Go Yoongi." I would go. "Look at me, Yoongi." I would always be looking at him anyway.

But I couldn't shout out what was inside me and my love for him.

Angered, I took the car keys from the table and ran out of the coffee shop. It was almost raining. We were in the last days of December and there was very little time left until the new year. The terrible years of 2016, 2017... and the last months of 2018... It was a miracle to be able to be with Jimin and the others in the new year, as before.

My eyes searched for Jimin all over the street, but I couldn't find him. It was quite cold, and I couldn't guess where he was going. He must have been so angry at me that he forced me to drive with only one arm.

After getting in the car, I connected my phone to Bluetooth and called Jimin. He wasn't answering. I tried many times but couldn't reach him. Driving slowly and cautiously, I looked around at the side streets but he wasn't there. I had pain on my shoulder.

I called Namjoon and informed him. He told me to drive slowly and go home. I had no choice but to do what he said. I drove back to the street where the cafe I last went out to was located, thinking about the possibility that he might have returned there. My phone ringing at that moment made me stop. I immediately pulled over and answered the call. It was Jimin.

I could hear him sniffling as the sound of the wind filled the car.

"Where are you?" His voice was hoarse because he was crying a lot, and he was quite reproachful.

"I- I'm where you left me." I looked around but I couldn't see him. Maybe he could see that I was in the car.

"How do you plan to drive?" It wasn't hard to understand that he was walking from his frequent breaths.