SaiRat "Always Been You"

Chapter Three - Troubles of the Past

Leaving Gadchiroli was a blessing for Sai, but unfortunately even after leaving the little village, the happenings of the last several months continue to haunt her. It had been two weeks since her alongside her Aaba and Mausi came to Nagpur and although she wanted to move on and forget everything that happened with Jagtap, those horrors kept replaying in her mind, leading to many sleepless nights.  Last night wasn't any different, every time she closed her eyes her mind flashed back to her kidnap, to the harassment and him sexualising her. The nights where she managed to get to sleep her nightmares would play games with her and imagine a world where Virat was unable to save her and Jagtap had his way with her, those were the nights she would wake up with cold sweat and cry until the morning sun appeared. She hated feeling like this, so lost and vulnerable, but didn't know how to get herself out of this feeling.

Aaba had suggested counselling, and even spoke to his friend DIG whose wife was a psychiatrist, but Sai had stubbornly refused, she didn't want to talk about her feelings to a stranger and be judged, and no matter how many times her father and Mausi reassured her that no one will judge her, Sai stuck to her words and continued suffering.

Even Virat had tried talking to her, to make her see reasoning during his many visits to her house but she ended up arguing with him and told him to sort out his own shit before making suggestions to her. She knew it was a low blow, and could tell by the despair that shone in his eyes when she reminded him of the sorry state his relationship with his brother was in, but at that moment she didn't care.

She had since apologised and things between them were back to normal, in fact it's gotten to the point where he picks her up every morning to drop her to college before going to the station, and they talk about everything; his life and situation at home, about her college and friends, but they always make sure to steer clear of any topics involving her mental health.

Apart from this day, when Virat decided to broach the subject at the breakfast table when she was just about to serve herself some paratha's.

"You can't keep doing this Sai, you need to talk to someone"

Silence prevailed in the room and Kamal Joshi and Usha Mausi stopped eating and stared at the two, waiting for the showdown they knew was going to happen.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Sai threw the paratha's back on the plate and glared at him. "I thought we agreed that we are not going to talk about this"

"We didn't agree to anything Sai, we just let you do what you wanted but enough is enough, look at what you are doing to yourself. You look like a zombie walking around aimlessly"

"Jee thanks" She snapped, resisting the urge to throw the hot cup of tea in front of her on his head. "Way to make a girl feel special. Pakhi dodged a bullet with you'

"How! how do you always manage to bring Pakhi into things that don't even involve her?" He sniped, 'Yahan baat tumhari chal rahi hain, about your health, it doesn't involve Pakhi at all"

"And my health doesn't need your involvement' She yelled, "After all, aap hain kaun mere"

"Stop it Sai, just stop with this 'aap mere hain kaun' shit" He growled, "Our relationship may not be defined, but there is a relationship and you know that and I know that so let's just stop with that bullshit yeah?"

Sai snapped her mouth shut, not knowing what to say. Instead she grabbed her bag and stood up from the table, making her way to the front door. "Main college ke liye late ho rahi hoon. Are you going to drop me off or are you planning to stay here and prep a lecture for me?" She asked.

"Ajeeb ho tum" Virat, shook his head and got up from the table as well, making his way to her 'chalo and I'm going to drop it for now, but this conversation is far from over"

"Whatever"

"Whatever" He mimicked,

With that both left the house, leaving behind two very amused adults.

"In dono ko kab akal ayegi' Usha Mausi asked.

Kamal Joshi laughed.

**

"I'm sorry"

Virat scowled, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. "Yeh accha hain, pehle fight karo aur phir masoom sa chehra banakar I'm sorry bol do and expect that all will be well"

"arre baba, I understand I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, iss liye sorry bol rahi hoon na" Sai said, turning her whole body around to face him, a cute little pout on her face that melted his heart.

"I'll forgive you under one condition"

"I'm not going to talk to a councillor, mein kissi stranger se apni personal baate nahin karoongi" She said to him, knowing what he was going to ask of her even before he could say the words, she knew her Virat sir too well.

"Kissi stranger se nah sahi, mujhse toh kar sakti ho" he told her, glancing at her very quickly, "I don't know what we are to each other Sai, but you mean something to me and I hate seeing you like this'

Sai blushed. Her and Virat's relationship was undefined but it was special, like he had said earlier she knew it and he knew it too and it was because of that special bond she felt comfortable in talking to him, but she knew he was going through so much himself with his brother and his ex that she didn't want to add to it with her problems.

"I appreciate it, but right now you should concentrate on your brother and Pakhi, rather than worrying about me'

"Samrat and I will be fine" He said confidently, "and Pakhi is not mine to worry about"

Sai looked at him shocked, at his words and the implications "Are you saying that I am yours to worry about?"

Eye widening, Virat slammed the breaks down and looked at her in equal amounts of shock.

"Err ...."

Now how do I answer that? He thought, struggling to get his words out.