SaiRat "Always Been You"

Chapter Four - Mend what's Broken

Finally caught up to where I left it, I am going to try and update frequently at the least once a week 😄

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Sai was relentless in teasing him, any other day she would have given him an out but for some reason today she really wanted to know how he perceived their relationship, it could be because she was really confused herself and wanted to get clarity from him, or it could be because she wanted to get confirmation that these emotions she's feeling towards him isn't one sided, she doesn't know. What she does know though is that she hates not knowing, and this undefined relationship is a big unknown hole that keeps sucking her in and bringing all these confusing feelings forward and she's starting to get headaches trying to decipher them herself.

"Chup kyun hain, boliye na. Am I yours to worry about?"

Virat came out of his daze and really considered Sai's question, he looked at her beautiful brown doe eyes and the shimmering uncertainty in them and understood she needs something from him, what exactly he doesn't know, but she needs something and right now, it's her question to be answered, but Virat himself was confused as to what the answer to the question is so how does he provide that to her.

After several seconds of silence where they just looked into each other's eyes unflinching, Virat spoke truth from his heart, whether it made sense or not "I have said this many times to you, that there is an undefined relationship between us, are we friends? not really because honestly I feel something more than just friendship for you, but I don't know what that something more is right now, but I do know that I feel a sense of belonging with you, and I feel however unjustified it may be that I have some right on you and vice versa, so to answer your question in short, yes you are mine to worry about and I know without a doubt that I am yours to worry about, there is something very pure and beautiful between us that I want to nurture and I don't want to worry about naming it right now, there is so many things we need to concentrate on at this moment, like your mental health and my family dynamic but there will be a moment sometime in the near future where we have to define this between us but until then if you are willing then I will like to see where this is heading"

Sai felt an overwhelming burst of happiness in her heart hearing his words, although there is still nothing concrete about these feelings between them, she was okay with that and she was not going to hide from what she wanted and the truth was that she wanted to see where this relationship leads "I would like that too" she responded, grinning.

Virat breathed a sigh of relief and matched her grin "good .. that's good. I'm glad, I'm .... Good' he rambled, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

Sai giggled, "Now that you are good and I am also good, can you drive, I'm getting late for college"

''Oh shit, honestly Sai you always make me forget about everything else when I am with you" Virat stated, starting his Jeep back up, and although he said it as a passing comment it made an impact on Sai's heart, she smiled but didn't respond back, just looked forward and let the peace she felt settle in.

**

It was coming up to five months on his marriage with Patralekha, and Samrat day by day was getting consumed with rage, he wanted to release his anger but he didn't know how to do that without hurting his entire family, because this inferno inside him will surely burn everyone around him if he dared to relieve himself of this pain and that is a damage no one will be able to recover from, and Samrat did not want that on his conscious, he could not live with himself if his family felt even an ounce of this despair he was currently feeling. But how long can you pretend for?, his conscience asked him, how long can you live this lie, and that was a question he did not have an answer to.

Sitting on top of his bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his face hidden into his hands, his mind was wandering, thinking about the happening of the past couple of months and thinking about the future ahead.

'What do I do?', he asked, his question lingering in the silence of his room that he shared with his 'wife'. The wife who didn't consider him her husband, the wife who was in love with his brother, the wife who's to her own admission had only married him to stay close to his brother, the brother that broke his trust, but the one he misses so dearly.

Samrat was at a crossroad and had no idea how he could move forward. He felt suffocated in his own home, in his own room and his biggest desire was to run away, but how could he do that, why should he do that, this mess wasn't of his creating so why should he run like a coward when the two people who had betrayed him weren't bothered. That's a lie though, his conscience once again called out, Virat is bothered, he has been trying to make amends since he has come back, you know this and Samrat knew this to be the truth.

Since coming back from Gadchiroli, Virat has asked for Samrat forgiveness time and time again, he has wanted to explain his side of the story so desperately, to mend the bridge created between them but the wound created in Samrat's heart is still too fresh and he wasn't ready to hear Virat out. Even now, he isn't sure that he is ready to hear what Virat has to say but he understands to move forward he needs to reach out. Oh what irony, the man who caused this pain is the one who could help me move forward from this. He laughed sardonically and pushed himself off the bed, heading towards the entrance of his room, needing to get out the house to get fresh air, but as his fate would have it one part of the duo who is the reason behind his conflicting emotions entered the room with a tray filled with tea and refreshments.

Pakhi looked at Samrat nervously, recognising the hatred in his eyes and feeling ashamed in her part in all this, but what is she to do, she wondered. "Chai?', She asked, gesturing to the tray in her hand.

Samrat smiled sarcastically, "Waah, meri zindagi barbaad karke, mujhe chot pohchakar, chai dekhar maraam, patti karne ayi ho?", He asked, "Yah chai par zeher daalke ayi ho?"

Feeling insulted, Pakhi was about to retort but Samrat walked past her, shaking his head at her audacity. What did you see in her, his conscience spoke up again, and once again Samrat had no answer.

**

Ashwini was just heading downstairs when she heard Samrat's parting words to his wife and watched as he stormed out of his room, heading towards the stairs himself so she quickly called out to him. She knew since his marriage and since the day Virat rushed back to Gadchiroli during the pheras that nothing was right between the three, and also knew that Pakhi and Virat had a very small, very meaningless past between them that was causing a rift in their present and as an elder in the family that had an inkling of the situation she thought it was her duty to knock some sense into the three, she had tried with Patrelekha, thinking a woman to woman conversation might help the young girl realise somethings, but Ashwini quickly realised it was useless talking to the brainless girl and second by second she was losing her own brain cells so she quickly thought of a new strategy, which was talking to her own son, that was a little more fruitful as she noticed her son was trying to resolve this himself with some helpful guidance from a girl call Sai, I'll have to ask Virat about her later but right now she needed to help her son mend his relationship with his brother and she knew she needed to speak to Samrat and maybe give him a little push.

"Jee Kaku, do you need something?"Samrat asked, stopping at the top of the stairs watching his aunt walk towards him with a determined stride.

"Yes I do, and only you can help me with this," she said.

"Aapke liye kuch bhi Kaku, what is it that you need?"

"It's more what you need' She responded, placing a loving hand on his arm "And I'm going to give you part of it'

It's time to mend what's broken.