Dark stains on a light colored shirt.

Rest and restart

Fikis pov: i turned, still holding salam, who was fast asleep, i heard someone open the door. "SNACKS READ- oh-...sh..sorry." I heard ciara say, before closing the door. I layed my head down, glancing at the hickeys on her collarbone. I layed my hand on the small patch on my neck, sighing. I looked down at my arms, and looked at salams, i pulled salams sleeve up, looking at her arm. I rubbed my fingers against the small lump that where normally a hand would be. Salam didnt deserve this.. i did. I looked down at my hand. Thinking for a moment. a chainsaw..? I could take salams wallet and go out..i carefully got up, grabbing salams wallet. I opened the door, walking downstairs, allison looked at me, ciara was eating. "Hey, where you going?" Allison asked, i thought for a moment. "Walk..fresh air." I replied, allison nodded. "Be back soon, ill let salams know your out when she wakes up." She replied, i nodded, opening the door and shutting it, i walked down the street, it was around a 20 minute walk to a department store, i walked in one, looking at the chainsaws. I grabbed the cheapest one and paid for it, i walked out of the store and to an alley. I held the chainsaw against my head, reaching, grabbing the string to turn it on, when i felt someone pull me back, dropping the chainsaw. I looked over, my mother was hugging me. "Whatre you doing out here, cub?!" She squeezed me, i dont think she realizes what i was planning on doing, i sighed, hugging her back. "hey mama.." i replied, she let go of me, smiling at me. "Go home, little cub, its too early for you to be out here, if your father sees you, itll never be the end, okay, cub?" My mother said. I nodded. "Okay, mama...love you." I replied to her, she smiled, i looked down at the chainsaw, and made sure my mother was out of site, i picked it up, turning it on.it was loud, i pointed it down at my hand. no, not there. I moved it down to my knee. I bit my sleeve. And pressed the running chainsaw on my knee, i dropped it, screaming in pain, i fell over, looking down at my leg, which was barely holding together. I saw the chainsaw turn off, i looked up at the sky. for sure ill bleed to death. I shut my eyes, believing it would be the last time. I felt myself start to pass out.
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Salam: i was downstairs, with allison and ciara, I was spam texting fiki, according to allison, fiki left 6 hours ago, allison and ciara were watching my nervous expression. I slammed my arm down, and winced. "Im going to look for her!" I yelled, getting up, allison walked over, pulling me back. "Okay, your a nervous wreck!! Were coming with you." Allison said, forcefully slowing me down. Ciara walked over,opening the door, allison let go of me, we walked out the door. "Think she went to town?" Allison asked. I nodded, we started walking down the street, ciara asked allison why we didnt just take the car, allison said its because i needed to walk around more. We walked down to town, walking down the sidewalk, i pulled my sleeves down, so it seems that i still have a hand. We walked by an alley, "over there, whats thaat?" Ciara said. "Looks lik a chainsaw." Allison replied, ciara walked down the alley and looked at the chainsaw, ciara glanced up, i was at the back of the alley with allison. Ciara let out a shriek, me and allison looked over, ciara picked something or someone up off the ground, ciara turned around, holding fiki, her leg was barely holding together. I tensed up, not able to move, allison ran over holding fikis leg up. "Call a ambulance!" Allison yelled, i pulled out my phone and dialed. Allison layed her other hand against fikis neck. "Barely any pulse..hurry!" as people showed, they transported fiki into an ambulance, we got in, i tensed up at the site of fiki. I got up, reaching over, the person in the ambulance knew me well, i worked at the hospital with her, i moved over, helping her put an oxygen tube on fiki, i reached over, holding my fingers against her chest. Looking down at her knee and leg, it was a very gruesome sight. There wasnt any equipment in here to treat that, i sighed, laying my hand on her chest, sitting down. Allison wrapped her arm around my shoulder. At this point, i was going to pass out from stress. They pulled in the hospital and moved her to a room, we sat down, waiting. Allison got up and walked to a vending machine, she got me a bottle of water, i sipped on the water, every since i had been young, sipping on water had always tired me, so i got tired, allison took the bottle back, putting a lid on it. I mumbled, looking down. I glanced up, looking at a doctor in front of me. "We're sorry, we tried the best we could." ..what..? I felt myself tear, i looked over, wanting to sob, i leaned over, allison wrapping her arms around me. "Where..is...she.." i yelled, getting up, i ran down, looking by each room. Allison and ciara running after me, calling my name, i ran by, seeing fiki in a room, i ran in, balling my fist, and slamming it against fikis chest. "You idiot...." I mumbled to her, as if she could hear me. Allison and ciara walked behind me. I looked down at her leg, it was stitched, did she die from blood loss...? I moved my arm over, slamming on her chest again, this time i heard her cough, i looked up at fiki, laying my hand against her neck. She has a pulse. I yelled as loud as i could, and people started running in, hooking fiki up to medical equipment, i stepped back, falling back into allisons arms. "Shes exhausted." I could hear allison say. Feeling myself pass out.
I woke up in a hospital chair, i looked over at allison. "Fikis okay, the doctors were wrong, shes okay. Get rest." Allison said, i sighed, standing up, i walked over to fiki, she was slightly awake. I waited on her to fully open her eyes, when she did, i slapped her straight across the face. "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?! I CANT EVEN TAKE A NAP WITHOUT YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?? YOU THINK YOUR THE ONLY ONE HURTING? I WAKE UP DAILY TO SEE A NEW BRUISE OR CUT ON YOU, I WAKE UP DAILY TO SEE A MENTALLY UNSTABLE ADULT, I WAKE UP DAILY, SOMETHINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO YOU, I CANT HELP YOU IF YOU WONT HELP YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" i yelled, losing any calm i had, id..never done that. Allison and ciara looked shocked at my yelling. Fiki refocused herself. I noticed her tear up. I stumbled back, did i just make her cry.. fiki tried to move, but couldnt. I walked by her, laying my head down on her chest. "Im sorry..sorry..didnt mean to-" i started to say, fiki mumbled- cutting in. "Needed...to..hear..that.." she said, i laughed, pulling the chair closer to her and sitting down in it. "Your pretty" fiki said, closing her eyes. "Im sorry, i wont do..something..like this again" she added. Taking a breath and letting herself sleep. I sighed, i looked down at her knee, it was stitched with a metal plate in it it seemed, shed be limping for a long while. Allison and ciara sat down, looking at each other awkwardly .